Your Woman Needs Validation. Your Man Needs Approval.

By Team BLAM

There are certain primary love needs that men and women have. It would serve us all well to truly explore, internalize, and gain a deep understanding of what these primary needs are; because if we know what our partner needs then we can better give it.  Certainly every man and woman ultimately needs all kinds of love. To acknowledge the primary love needs of women does not imply that men do not need to experience love in those ways as well.  As world renowned relationship expert, John Gray, says “What is meant by “primary need” is that fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able to fully receive and appreciate the other kinds of love.

It’s all to easy for us to give what we need and forget that our spouse may need something else. So, today we will touch on two love needs–one for men and one for women.

Let’s talk about VALIDATION & APPROVAL.

VALIDATION is essential for a woman to feel loved. When a man does not object to or argue with a woman’s feelings and wants but instead accepts and confirms their validity, a woman truly feels loved. A man’s validating attitude confirms a woman’s right to feel the way she does. (It is important to remember one can validate her point of view while having a different point of view.) When a man learns how to let a woman know that he has this validating attitude, he will absolutely get the approval that he primarily needs.

APPROVAL is critical for a man to feel loved. Deep inside, every man wants to be his woman’s hero or knight in shining armor. The signal that he has passed her tests is her approval. A woman’s approving attitude acknowledges the goodness in a man and expresses overall satisfaction with him. (Remember, giving approval to a man doesn’t always mean agreeing with him.) An approving attitude recognizes or looks for the good reasons behind what he does. When he receives the approval he needs, it becomes easier for him to validate her feelings.

Understanding the primary love needs of your partner is a powerful secret for improving your relationship. Use what you’ve learned. Seriously, try it and don’t keep it a secret. Send this article to your boo (or someone who would truly appreciate it) right now! Stop Playing. Start Pushing.

4 replies
  1. Smoov
    Smoov says:

    I am guilty of not really understanding that my spouse needed such validation of her feelings & thoughts in the past. I was too quick to either correct her or disagree with her opinions & thoughts, that I forgot about validating the points she made or shared with me. This was a great post. Makes a lot of sense too. I have since figured out that I need to provide constant validation, but this post completely explains why it was necessary.

    Some people just need to be heard & validated most of the time. Many of us know we are going to have people that disagree with us all the time, but it's good to know they have listened & understood what has been said.

  2. Nezzy
    Nezzy says:

    It's not a secret. That is a universal truth! lol

  3. Kandi
    Kandi says:

    So true. Affirm our feelings. We have a right to feel the way we do.

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