10 Warning Signs You Have The Wrong Woman

by OlderButWiser Romantic relationships can be wonderful with the right person; however, a relationship with the wrong individual can lead to years of heartache, emotional damage and even physical damage. If you’re wondering if your girlfriend is really the one you should be with, here are 10 signs that will definitely help you decipher if you’re possibly dating the wrong woman.

1. She doesn’t show affection

If you’re in a situation where your woman just sits there and does nothing when you attempt to touch her and caress her or you’re always the one who initiates the hand holding or hugs first, something is definitely wrong. Dating is all about give and take and relationships are a constant compromise, BUT you shouldn’t always have to be the one to initiate everything and generally, being able to show affection should come naturally and not be a forced thing for a person.

2. She is reluctant to make future plans with you

You try to arrange vacation plans, but are met with a hesitant response. She is not willing to do anything that would require lasting commitment. She stops planning to go to events together a few weeks in advance… the list is endless. These are all signs that she doesn’t plan on being with you in the future.

3. She destroys your self-confidence

She repeatedly puts you down, constantly corrects your slight mistakes, making you feel “on guard”, unintelligent, and leaving you with the feeling that you are always doing something wrong.

4. She discounts your feelings

She tells you that your feelings and opinions don’t make sense, they’re silly, and that you are emotionally disturbed to even think of such things. Women who behave like this often become extremely hostile toward criticism and often react with anger or even rage when their behavior is questioned.

5. She displays psychotic behaviors

She displays behaviors such as constant temper tantrums, snooping and emotional blackmail. Women like this carry a tremendous amount of emotional baggage and will do things that are completely crazy, lacking rational thought and take actions with no thought about consequences.

6. She uses sex as a weapon

Some women tend to use sex as a way to coerce their men into getting their way. If they want something to happen then they know that this would be the perfect opportunity to get their man to do it. They figure that if the guy wants it bad enough then he will do exactly what it is they want, and if he doesn’t, they threaten or punish him by depriving him of his sexual needs. Women who display this behavior only give men an excuse to look for alternative sources.

7. She is not trustworthy

She’s dishonest with you and you’re constantly catching her telling you lies and withholding information from you to keep you at a disadvantage.

8. She cuts you off from loved ones

When it’s time to spend quality time with your family, she suddenly becomes sick, stuck in traffic or experiences something major at work. She resents your family for taking up your time and even forbids you from associating with them at all.

9. She’s too insecure

She secretly checks your email, internet history and your cell phone. She feels threatened when you discuss your previous relationships, hates the idea of meeting your female friends and constantly attempts to trap you with questions like, “Do you think I’m pretty?” and gets upset no matter what you answer.

10. She’s too controlling

She tells you when you can go out, when you can invite the guys over to watch the game and will even call you 10-15 times per day to keep track on what you’re doing, who you’re with and where you’re going next with each call and you allow these controlling behaviors to “keep the peace” in the relationship.

Olderbutwiser is the author of Dating For Today’s Man — The Online Dating and Relationship Guide For Men. Visit him at Dating For Today’s Man.  You can also join him on his new Facebook page where he can keep you up to date on his most recent articles. http://www.facebook.com/DFTM09

7 replies
  1. SJM
    SJM says:

    Aren’t these all just NORMAL characteristics of all women? LOL! Just kidding (I am a woman) but I find that these are more traits you find in men. Anyhow, like the brother who says he made the choice to remain abstinent, so did I. Life is easier that way until you find someone of “like” mind that you connect with. I find that I’m at a place where I need that in my life or it’s just not worth it. Everyone is not able. Celibacy really is a gift!

  2. Ken
    Ken says:

    While I still find attraction in women, I have chosen to be celibate. I believe the affects/effects of White American mores and social standards, residual slave mentality and the total destruction of the Black male image and role in society has made it all but impossible for me — not everyone — to find an ideal mate. And since I refuse to interracial date, that leaves me one option. As for knowing when you [I] have the wrong mate, I have experienced all 10markers to one degree or another. Now, I am not judging those women or any other. I'm just over wasting my time. Still, I will continue to support Black love and the growth of our community. I'll just be doing it from the sidelines.

    • Ayize
      Ayize says:

      You can't get a bucket if you're not on the court….you can't score a touchdown if you're not on the field. I understand that we've gotta helluva lot of stuff to overcome but we as a group or as individuals will never move beyond our stuff unless we're actively working on it. There are women out here that are looking for good men….but the only way to find them is to keep on looking. Don't give up Bro. i think it's a good choice you've made to be celibate. It will help you see the women clearer as you pursue future relationships
      My recent post 5 Questions To Ask To Bring You And Your Boo Closer

    • Jas
      Jas says:

      Hey Ken, I too am doing the whole celibacy thing for similar reasons BUT like Ayize pointed out, its still important for one to continue socialising & keep your options open… You meet the right person in the weirdest places, unexpectedly…

      Take Care & Great Article guys ;0)

  3. Cynthia
    Cynthia says:

    I understand that this post was from a man's point of view but I saw a lot of this in the men I used to be foolish enough to date. It can go both ways. 🙂

  4. Lady OH
    Lady OH says:

    Am I wrong for finding this a little humorous? I didn’t laugh alone though, my husband laughed too. Are you sure this advice isn’t for both sexes? I’ll be honest though. Numbers 1, 5, and 9 I’m sort of guilty of (NOWHERE NEAR THE EXTENT MENTIONED) only because I felt he was 2, 4, 7, 9, & 10. I was 21 then and he was 31. My husband and I are going on ten years strong. It was a learning process for us. Good read though. I hope there is 10 warning signs you have the wrong man, can’t wait to read that one, lol.

    • Shawna
      Shawna says:

      I was thinking the exact same thing. This is my ex husband to the "T".

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