Accept It…We’re Wired Differently

By Cynthia James

There’s a scientific explanation for why you can’t figure out what he’s thinking.

Are men and women really that different? From my perspective, we are the same at the spiritual level; we all want to be loved, supported, seen and heard. We all want to be appreciated for our gifts and honored for our contributions.

The difference is in how we think and respond to situations and people often become frustrated when members of the opposite sex act differently than how they expect. Those I counsel in my practice make statements like “I wish he would listen to me like my girlfriends” or “I wish she would stop wanting me to talk so much.” The result of these expectations is frustration, blame and unhealthy relationships. And this isn’t just speculation; there is scientific evidence that men and women are indeed wired differently.

  • In a study from the National Academy of Sciences in 2013, researchers discovered physical differences between the brains of men and women. Men are generally better at spatial tasks involving muscle control while women are better at verbal tasks involving memory and intuition.
  • In 2001, researchers from Harvard found that certain parts of the brain are differently sized in males and females. Women’s brain processes were more complicated than those in men, but this allows for women to possibly think at a faster rate.
  • Louann Brizendine, founder and director of the University of California, San Francisco’s Women’s Mood and Hormone Clinic, published The Female Brain, in which she notes that women are chatterboxes, speaking an average of 20,000 words per day, which is nearly three times the mere 7,000 words spoken by men.

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