By J.R. Bruns M.D.
A new study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health by Dr. Rikke Lund of the Section of Social Medicine and Department of Public Health at the University of Copenhagen, in a study of 100,000 subjects, found that men are three times more likely to die prematurely from complications brought on from the stress of living with a nagging spouse. Nagging is defined as “the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it and both become increasingly annoyed.” Dr. Lund noted that. “It is interesting that we have identified that males who are exposed to worries and demands by their partners have higher mortality and are the ones we should focus on.”
Elizabeth Berstein writes in her Wall Street Journal article “Meet The Marriage Killer”, that “…women are more likely to nag, experts say, largely because they are conditioned to early signs of problems in a relationship. When women ask for something and don’t get a response, they are quicker to realize something is wrong.”
For many couples, nagging is a sign their relationship has hit the Disllusionment phase in the terminal stage of Mirage Man Syndrome known as Resigned Compliance. For men who have previously denied their legitimate needs, feelings and dreams to please their mate and achieve commitment, companionship and physical satisfaction, the strain of keeping up the charade that their lover’s tastes are their own begins to take its toll. Their seamless performance will begin to slip. Their mate will begin to see disturbing glimpses of another, more unpleasant man as the ecstasy of the Honeymoon stage begins to wane. For these “mirage men”, the annoyance of living with someone of few common interests, differing world views and clashing personality types will become acute. Physical intimacy will lose its pain-killing potency as the relational differences come creeping out from beyond the shadows into the harsh light of day.
Withholding information worked so well for these mirage men during the initial hot romance, but now it is the agent of destruction of the relationship. The wife or lover experiences a long slow slide into disllusionment as her once affectionate Prince Charming now seems so distant, oozing resentment in his actions and obsequious manner in complying with the most mundane requests to do household chores he used to jump to meet eagerly.These mirage men will snap into a trance of irritating and bizarre behavior when the wife interrupts them just to ask why a certain necessary responsibility wasn’t completed.
CLICK HERE to read more.