[Ask The Ma’at’s] My Wife Is Financially Irresponsible And It’s Destroying Our Marriage

Viewer Question: Can you help! I am in a marriage that is un-conventional by today’s standards. I’m 41, but my wife is 47. I have no children, but my wife has 1 teenage son (and pays child-support to her sons father). I have never been married, but my wife’s marriage to me is her 2nd. I have a stable job and earn an higher income then my wife. My wife is a temp and earns less money than me. I manage all of the finances except the money that my wife earns. When my wife and I were dating she was evicted from her home for making late payments on her mortgage (although she was employed consistently at the time this happened). She was very irresponsible with finances when we were dating and has been since we have been married. In addition, she has “given” her money away to family members and friends in the past despite being late with child support payments, cell-phone bills, student loan payments and IRS payments. We have been married for 4 years now and at first I was upset with the fact that my wife was and irresponsible person with finances. Since then I have realized that if I manage the finances, we should be alright. Now comes the hard part! Not only does she not manage her own money well, but refuses to allow me to manage it. I have to ask her to give me $500 a month cash towards the household bills to keep us afloat in our apartment (since we are no where near ready to purchase a home). She does not even do that consistently. This is a person who is college educated with a minor in finance! I have to tell the inner voice in my head that she is not a crazy, but it’s hard sometime.

What do you suggest???