Is Being “Mr. Nice Guy” Getting In The Way Of Your Love Life?

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By Joseph Matthews

My friends, a question for you…

 

You have heard the term “Nice guys finish last”, correct?

 

Well, I’m here to tell you that saying is 100% true! But not for the reasons you may think.

 

Being a “Nice Guy” with women doesn’t work, not because you get too caught up in what a girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys are typically very, very…

 

SELFISH!

 

That’s right. When you’re a “Nice Guy,” you’re not really being nice, you’re being EMOTIONALLY GREEDY.

 

Let me explain…

 

An enormous problem for a lot of guys, one that will almost always lead to difficulty with women, is the “Nice Guy factor”.

 

Countless men rely on others to determine their self worth, due to having a weak identity and very little self esteem.

 

These guys are at the mercy of everyone else in their lives, so they try their best to please the people around them, hoping they’ll continue to think highly of them, so they can feel good about themselves. That’s not so bad, right? It feels good when others approve of you, doesn’t it?

 

Most people look at this behavior and would instantly categorize these poor men in the “Nice Guys” column. After all, they’re the ones who don’t like conflict. They’re the ones who don’t want to make waves. They’re the ones who want everyone to be happy.

 

They are also some of the most selfish people on the planet.

 

Seriously. I know this because I used to be one of these people, and I know all their dirty little secrets! And the point of this newsletter is to make everyone who thinks of themselves as “nice” or as a “victim” really, really irritated!!!

 

All of you “Nice Guys” out there reading this are nothing more than “people pleasers.” Somewhere in your life, you found out that pleasing people is a way to get other people to like you and admire you so you can feel good about yourself.

 

The source of this could be anyone – your parents, your friends, a relative. But somewhere, you learned to feel good about yourself based on what others think of you.

 

But I’m here to tell you that using other people’s feelings and goodwill like that is not only harmful, but dishonest!

 

There are people who “can’t stand conflict” or believe that if you “can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”, or live by some similar slogan. They live in an ideal world. It’s just not this one.

 

I’m sure on that planet, they get all the moral support they need from anyone.

 

But that’s the crux of the issue right there. All you “Nice Guys” have a losing mentality about your need for support. Your methodology is: “I am so loving and giving and nice, I expect you to treat me the exact same way as I treat you!”

 

Here is the typical thought process of Nice Guys:

 

–“Don’t disagree with me! It’s not fair because I do so much for you!!!”

 

–“Please be sympathetic and comfort me when I’m upset! I’m needy and can’t comfort myself.”

 

–“Always be in a good mood. I am always trying to make you happy and if I can’t, I feel ashamed and mad at you!”

 

–“Pay attention to me!! Whenever I need it, I’ve definitely earned it!!”

 

–“Take care of me!!! Do the things I can’t do for myself due to fear! I do them for you, so please return the favor!!”

 

Take a look at all that. Now ask yourself how you’d react if someone was saying those things to you. You’ll understand then, where women are coming from when it comes to dating “Nice Guys”.

 

Once that happens and the needy demands of “Nice Guys” go unmet, they fall into the deep pits of self-pity and depression. They also feel a lot of shame and anger at their failure to please the women they want, and though these “Nice Guys” can keep their pleasant demeanor up for a long time, their resentment of the women they want to please will grow and grow until it explodes in anger and rage, either directed at others, themselves, or both.

 

This kind of mentality can extremely damage your self respect and cause others to not want to be around you.

 

So what’s a “Nice Guy” to do?

 

If you want to have success with women, you need to stop being agreeable and instead be straightforward and honest, especially when you have to go against the wishes of others and disappoint them. You can do this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST do this nonetheless.

 

Only by being honest, with yourself and with others, will you be able to overcome the selfish “nice guy” habits you have adopted in your life.

 

And when you do this, you will stop caring about what other people think of you because the source of your validation comes from the fact that you’re being true to yourself and straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less depression.

 

That is the only way I have found to truly stop being a “Nice Guy” and become the type of man other people can respect.

 

Being honest with others in this manner might seem difficult, but it’s more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.

 

Get Joseph Matthew’s free How To Meet Women newsletter and skyrocket your success with women right now: artofapproaching.com. Nowhere else will you find better, more powerful techniques on meeting women that are sure to work for any man. Go here now Artofapproaching.com

 

The Impact Of Fatherhood On Men

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By Candace Bagwell

New research published in the 2010 American Journal of Men’s Health shows that fatherhood can dramatically alter a man’s behavior.

The 18-month study of 230 divorced fathers of kids ages 4-11 found that father involvement led to better health choices such as drinking less alcohol.

Study results also found that the hormonal changes exhibited during fatherhood influences the decisions men make about taking risks.

“Fatherhood prompts men to be less self-centered, more giving and more outward-focused. It can prompt them to be more responsible and become more mature, especially to temper some of their risks,” says Richard Settersten Jr., professor of human development and family sciences at Oregon State University in Corvallis.

CLICK HERE to read more.

Is Society And The Media On A Huge Campaign To ‘Feminize’ Men?

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from BlackBlueDog.com

With the rate of unemployment reaching record highs across the country in the last few years, many men are at home while the women in their lives are at work. If you look at the statistics in Black communities, the statistics get worse-much worse. The rate of unemployment among Black men has been at a high of 16% which roughly means that one in every seven men is unemployed.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my small family as well as one of my husband’s brothers who happened to be off from work at that time of the day, while his wife was at work. I watched with much admiration as he cared for his almost 3 year old daughter with so much love and affection. He was feeding, changing pull up diapers and giving out an unlimited number of hugs and kisses. I’ve also had the experience of watching my own husband in a similar role.

What is particularly interesting about watching both men is that nothing about their interactions with their children seems bothersome to me or them. That being said, I have been aware of a growing mumbling and grumbling, mostly among men, about how society and media is on a huge campaign to “feminize” men.

Of course, this is a very complex issue. A lot of us grew up during the time when we generally understood that women were the nurturers and care takers of children and the family while the men were…not. Some saw men who were providers and protectors while others just didn’t see much of their fathers at all. Those that lived in homes with absent fathers, generally experienced living with women who played both roles; providing and also being care takers.

It is interesting to note that a lot of conversations about what a lot of men say they find undesirable about Black women-“strong Black Women”, is actually what might be women exhibiting traits that we would primarily associate with being a man. So, it could be said that women, primarily because of their circumstances, are becoming more like men.

Personally, I do not want to be “like a man”, nor do I think that I am, but I am aware that a lot of women who have “strong” personalities, do tend to rub people the wrong way and I am no exception (*chuckling to myself). Also, I have no desire for my husband to be “like a woman”. A lot of people are still more comfortable with the softer image of a woman who is content with just being a wife and mother, rather than a powerful businesswoman. In the same token, some are more comfortable with a “manly man”-whatever that is.

CLICK HERE to read more.

Stereotypes About Black Men That AIN’T Always True

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By Team BLAM

Considering the historical and current cultural climate in America, it’s hard to be an African American and totally avoid internalizing and/or projecting stereotypes about black men that in many ways further perpetuate discord in black relationships.  Yes…in some way or another we are ALL guilty of making the black man look like “the big bad wolf”. Our words and actions aren’t always consistent with elevating black men because we’re infused with the cultural DNA of this country which for centuries has been about keeping the black man down.  This is the point of the post where many of you will say, “What about Barack”?  Well guess what… I too say “What about Barack?” and I say it for the great number of brotha’s that are out here saying “What about me?”

With that being said we’re challenging you to be more mindful about the role you play in perpetuating negative stereotypes about black men.   Sure brotha’s need to be held accountable…sure brotha’s need to hear the truth.  But be aware, the truth you tell and the way you tell it may be greatly influenced by stereotypes about black men that ain’t always true.  Check out the below stereotypes and let us know what you think.  Let us know HOW some of these stereotypes are straight up lies.

1.  Black Men Are Lazy And Don’t Like To Work

2.  Black Men Are Dogs

3.  Black Men Are Well Endowed

4.  Black Men Are Bad Providers

5.  Black Men Only Want Sex

6.  Black Men Are Not Good Fathers

7.  Black Men Want A White Woman

8. Black Men Are Dumb

9. Black Men Go To Jail

10. Black Men Are Great Athletes

11.  Black Men Are Fashionable

12.  Black Men Dance Well

13. Black Men Are Criminals

BLAM Fam….what stereotypes about black men are you guilty of perpetuating?


6 Things Your Man Could Care Less That You Do

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By Jaustin

We’re all busy, so any time you can knock a few things off the to-do list is a good time. Not only do we want to save time, we want to save mental energy—something we spend a lot of on our men, and often, don’t need to. The reality is, we’re more sensitive than they are. It’s the curse of being mutli-taskers. We are also multi-thinkers and are aware of everything, at every moment.

Here are 6 things we put way too much time into for our guys that we just don’t have to…

Checking in

If a woman has something big happening in her life (sick family member, waiting to hear about a job promotion), she will get mad at her man if a substantial amount of time has passed and he hasn’t asked how that thing is going, all on his own accord. For that reason, women make a point of frequently checking in with a guy about something big happening in his life but, the truth is, if he wants to talk about it, he will talk about it. And he won’t notice if you don’t bring it up on your own.

Shaving

Let’s be real, once you’ve been dating for a while, and things are getting going in the bedroom, his hands just go straight for the goods. The arbitrary leg rubbing goes out the window. Don’t let things get out of control but, you don’t need to keep baby smooth legs every day. (Hopefully men don’t read this article, or they’ll begin paying attention to your stems, even if they didn’t before!)

Planning dates

Women often feel they’re in a rut if their nights with their men consist of eating dinner, watching a movie and going to sleep. We begin to feel disconnected from our guys. But, that fear of getting disconnected comes from fearing that men feel disconnected from us. So, we panic. We get in planning mode and we push to go to the zoo, or go on a hike, or have a double date with friends. We push for it even on nights when it’s inconvenient or you’re both exhausted. Not only does that begin to bother men but, the truth is, they don’t feel anything is wrong if you’re just hanging out, watching TV most nights. Men don’t overthink things like we do. They still like you just the same, with or without a big to-do.

CLICK HERE to read more.

4 Things Guys Worry About

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By Marcus Osborne

One of the fabrications in our culture that has always driven me bonkers is the myth that “real” men don’t succumb to worry or stress. It’s the idea that guys are somehow genetically engineered to shake off the rigors of everyday life– that no guy should crack under pressure, fear or insecurity.

Never let ’em see you sweat.

We guys wish it were that easy. From an intellectual perspective, we all agree that this belief is silly. Unfortunately, the gut reaction to actually witnessing a man’s will being broken is generally something less than empathetic. So once and for all, men DO have their own insecurities – just as many as women – and I’ve listed below a few of the most common concerns that men feel.

What Men Worry About

Making enough money. This one has mass awareness. But the depth of the anguish men feel when confronted with the possibility of not being an adequate bread-winner can be unimaginable. We’ve all heard the stories about what many have resorted to when money problems become overwhelming. And yet most peoples’ reaction are less-than-understanding, “It couldn’t have been that bad.” Apparently it was.

Age. You think men age gracefully. We don’t. Actually, for all the jokes and mythology about women getting older i.e., never asking them their age, facelifts, mom jeans, soccer mom hair, etc., women actually seem to handle the transition overall a bit better than men. And of course, they seem to embrace their sexuality as the years tick by. For men, mid-life crisis is no joke! Men can feel frantic–trying to locate that lost hair-line, chasing the younger women, experiencing a dwindling sex-drive and becoming physically vulnerable to younger, stronger guys.

Body Image. Seems shallow. And of course it is. But this is America…we’re ALL about shallowness! Sure the typical belief is that because of a bombardment of media images and our society’s focus on physical beauty in women, that guys are immune to the insecurities that accompany a negative body image. WRONG. We hide it, but we’re just as wrapped up in looking great in beachwear. And it’s not just the ladies who are checking out the competition on the beach and at parties. Guys do it, too.

 CLICK HERE to read more.

Fatherhood And Discipline: 5 Tips On Balancing Being Firm And Bonding

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By Auntie Artichoke

Many fathers assume discipline means yelling, threatening or spanking children when their behavior is unacceptable. However, discipline can be interpreted in many ways and dealt with differently among different fathers.

The first thing to know about discipline is the two ways it can be interpreted. Some men may be confusing discipline — which means loving guidance and teaching — with punishment. Punishment is punitive and harsh.

Their own fathers worked long hours and the mother did most of the parenting, sometimes with threats such as, “just wait till your father comes home!” Consequently, some men grew up without a strong, caring father. Those men may not be sure how to parent or how to get cooperation without punishing or yelling.

If there is a blended family, or the children are in two households, it is very important for dads to be consistent in giving kind, firm guidance and discipline. Be consistent. If one parent is permissive and the other is punitive or strict, the combined methods constitute a mixed approach. For a child, this is like living in a country where two different governments are operating simultaneously.

Children figure out quickly that the rules are different between two parents, and they learn to play one against the other. This mixed, or inconsistent, approach brings out the most extreme reactions in parents and children. So, as a dad, make a decision that your method of parenting will be consistent and respectful. Once your child knows what your expectations are, he or she will more easily rise to meet those guidelines and trust you.

With that being said, building a trusting relationship with a child is key to proper discipline. Here are five tips fathers can use to discipline a child, while also building a strong father-child bond:

1. Be firm, kind and respectful in setting boundaries.

2. Try to say yes, more often than no. “Yes, you may have a cookie … right after dinner.”

CLICK HERE to read more.

5 Instant TURN OFF’S For Men

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By Cucan Pemo

How do you keep the passion burning even after you’ve said “I do”?

Marriage should be a happy time for a couple. You’ve survived the rigors of dating and courtship. Now it’s time to reap the rewards and spend a pleasant life together.

But many couples find marriage to be a difficult adjustment to make. There’s a “honeymoon” phase, and then life settles into a routine. Husbands and wives start to irk one another. The passion of the early marriage starts to fade away.

Can this be stopped? Of course it can. With some work and communication, two people who love each other can continue to love being married to each other forever.

As women, there are certain things we can avoid, things that are instant turn offs to men in marriage. Here are five.

1. Complaining, nagging, and criticizing.

This is always at the top of the list in surveys of married men when asked what their wives do that bothers them. As much as he loves you, he wants to be his own man, too. And let’s face it, no one, male or female, likes being picked at.

Of course, we don’t usually see our gentle reminders not to leave his socks on the floor as “picking.” If he would just DO it, we wouldn’t have to keep mentioning it. But to him, it sounds like you’re harping, nagging about the same thing over and over again. And it drives him crazy.

So what to do? Men’s minds are analytical. They like to solve problems. So make your suggestions in the form of solutions rather than complaints. Instead of saying, “I hate it when you leave your socks on the floor,” say, “It will be much easier for me to do laundry if your socks are in the hamper instead of on the floor, sweetie.” See?

The first was a complaint; the second was a solution. Surely he can’t fail to see the logic in it, and if he forgets after that, you’ll know it’s an honest forgetting, not laziness or spite. And since you love him, you can forgive that.

2. Trying to control him.

This goes along with #1. Men like to be independent. They like their buddies, they like their football games, they like their poker nights with the guys. But you like him to be home with you. Who’s right?

This is one where you may have to make some compromises. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be allowed to hang out with his friends and do whatever it is those guys do when they get together — provided he’s still being a good husband and father too, of course.

If he’s out EVERY night with the guys, then maybe there’s a problem. But if it’s once a week or so, and he has a fun time, then what’s the harm? It’s selfish to insist he stay home with you all the time.

To compensate for it, you can arrange activities for just the two of you that go beyond just staying home and having a normal dull evening. Make sure the weekends are full of couples-only activities, or plan specific “date nights” once a week. That way, you can make sure you’re getting a special evening with him at least as often as his friends get one.

3. Withholding sex out of anger or spite.

Your husband shouldn’t expect you to have sex whenever and wherever he wants to. If he’s a typical man, he wants to have sex more or less constantly, so it’s not really feasible. But he shouldn’t have to contend with you using sex as a weapon against him, either.

Sex is the most intimate part of a relationship, and some consider it the most sacred. Either partner using it as a way of controlling or hurting the other one cheapens it.

If you’re angry with your husband, talk to him about it, calmly and rationally. Don’t withhold sex and then make him guess why. Those kinds of games are beneath you.

4. Letting your emotions control your thinking.

It’s a scientific fact that men solve problems analytically while women solve problems emotionally. It’s also a fact that that difference is what drives both genders the craziest.

Still, that doesn’t mean you should let your emotions dictate everything you say or do. It doesn’t make any sense to refuse to go to a party with him tonight because he failed to notice you got your haircut earlier today. That’s emotion talking.

When you feel yourself getting emotional, that’s fine — you’re a woman; emotions are part of who you are. The trick is to avoid making decisions when you’re in that state. Wait till you’ve calmed down again and become your normal self.

5. Letting yourself go physically.

This is a touchy subject because it usually happens to both spouses. You’re both so busy with work, home and the kids that you stop exercising and get out of shape. But it’s men who are more likely to complain about it.

One solution is to make it a joint effort. As you notice yourself slipping into poor eating habits and zero exercise, talk to your husband. Suggest the two of you take up jogging together, or go for walks after dinner, or join a gym together.

He’ll see you’re making an effort to maintain the lovely figure he fell in love with, and you can keep him from becoming a couch potato, too. Plus, any time you spend together is going to strengthen your relationship.

It’s tragic to for small things to split marriages apart, but it happens all the time. There’s no reason to let it happen to you. Remember that you love each other and do what you can to keep the fires burning.

The 6 Don’ts Of Online Dating For Men

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By Jack Conway

I’m going to tell you about the Six Don’ts of Internet dating.

These are things you should never do when it comes to picking up women online, regardless of how much coffee you drank.

1- When conversing through e-mail, don’t write your life story

Nothing turns off a woman more than a man who can’t shut up. If you don’t believe me, the next time you’re corresponding with a woman you’ve met online, write a one-page e-mail about what you like to do on weekends, and see what kind of response you get. Nine times out of 10, a woman won’t even reply to you. She’ll simply delete your e-mail and move on to the next guy. Why is that?

First, women usually perceive a long-winded man as needy. And most women want a challenge. Needy men aren’t challenging. Second, quite frankly, women want to do all of the talking. And they want you to listen.

What to do: Keep all your e-mail replies short (i.e. no longer than three sentences). The first two sentences should be used for answering a question (or questions) she may have asked, and the last sentence should be reserved for asking her a question. Remember: Questions keep the ‘dialogue’ moving, and give her the sense that you are thoughtful and interested.

2- Don’t initiate sexual talk

Many women think men have nothing but sex on brain. Though there is some truth to this statement, you’ll get further in the game by not hinting at or talking about sex.

Besides, in this politically correct world, who wants to take the chance of offending women with sex talk, especially if you don’t know them well?

What to do: Just don’t do it. In fact, you’d be surprised by how many women will actually initiate a conversation about sex. When a woman initiates talk about sex, consider that a green light, though I suggest that your comments be very well thought out. Besides, if you’re looking for aggressive sexual dialogue with a woman, there are plenty of ‘adult’ oriented personal sites that cater to that.

3- Don’t lie

It’s a known fact that a significant percentage of men and women lie about themselves, whether it’s about marital status, income, education level or occupation, when it comes to creating an online profile of themselves.

I’m a true believer that the lies will catch up with you — sooner rather than later. And if you find a woman who is really interested in you, and you’ve lied to her, it’s just a matter of time before she finds out the truth.

What to do: If you think your income is too low, or if your occupation isn’t exactly exciting, simply ‘up-sell’ other qualities about yourself. Focus on the good instead. Never lie to impress a woman. Ever.

4- Don’t send too many e-mail or IM messages

Again, you don’t want to appear needy.

One way to appear needy is by sending a woman three or four e-mail or IM messages a day.

Of course, if the e-mail or IM conversation is moving along at breakneck speed and is interesting and stimulating, then by all means, have a full-fledged dialogue with her. In other words, don’t hold back. You may even try to close the deal right there and ask her out on a date.

But if you’re in the early stages where you’re still in the process of getting to know each other, then I suggest keeping your interactions to a minimum.

What to do: I know it’s difficult, especially if the woman is hot, but you have to be disciplined. Limit yourself to two e-mails per day, and keep streaming IM conversations to no longer than 15 minutes. If the dialogue exceeds this time, then excuse yourself and end the conversation, saying that you have some things to take care of — and don’t go into detail about it.

By doing this, you’ll remain mysterious, something that turns most women on.

5- Don’t spread yourself too thin

One of the better problems to have with Internet dating is corresponding with too many women.

Yeah, I know exactly what you’re thinking: What man doesn’t want to be chased by dozens of beautiful women? But truth be told, having an effective personal ad that generates a lot of responses can backfire on you if you’re not careful.

For instance, in the past month, I’ve received 56 responses to my personal ad. That’s a ton of women to e-mail. In fact, it’s too many. Way too many.

If you try to reply to every single woman who responds to your ad, you’ll soon find yourself spending your days writing e-mail. More importantly, you’ll start forgetting what you’ve said and to whom.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been embarrassed because I asked a woman the same question four or five times.

What to do: Though I encourage you to be polite, you may find yourself physically unable to reply to every woman who has responded to your ad. In fact, I recommend that you don’t reply to every woman who responds to your personal ad.

Instead, if you’re getting dozens of responses each week, only reply to the women you wish to pursue further. Furthermore, if these leads don’t work out for you, then you can always go back to the other women you didn’t reply to originally.

6- Don’t appear too eager to go on a date

Unless a woman immediately asks to meet you (and some will), a rule of thumb about asking a woman for a date is to wait at least a week after the initial contact before asking her out.

If you ask her out too soon, when she’s not ready and comfortable, she’ll disappear.

If you wait, one of the things that will go through her mind is, why isn’t this guy asking me out?

When that happens, you’ll instantly become more attractive to her.

What to do: Let her make the first move. If she’s the kind of woman who wants to be pursued, she might be a high maintenance princess, and that’s the last thing you want to deal with.

Play it safe, play it cool

Now, we’re all a bunch of macho men, but you can never be too safe. The last thing you want is to be involved in a real-life fatal attraction.

So in addition to these six ‘don’ts,’ I also advise against handing out your telephone number or your address. Take your time to get to know the woman before revealing your personal information.

 

5 Reasons Being A Single Man Sucks

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By Damon Young

While most will probably remember 2012 as the “Year Of The YOLO” (and by “most” I mean “like seven people“), it holds special significance for me because it’ll likely be the first year since 2002 where I spent the entire year single. I haven’t completed a full calender year yet — May will make it seven months since the former Lady Champ and I decided to go our separate ways — but because I seem to enjoy doing random anthropological experiments on myself for absolutely no reason (and because I’m an INTJ and INTJs apparently suck at relationships), I’m confident that I’ll make it to 2013 without having to change my Facebook relationship status again.

Anyway, if I could sum up my seven months of singledom in one word, it would most likely be “interesting.” I’ve met some “interesting” people, done some “interesting” things, made some “interesting” decisions, and, most importantly, thought some “interesting” thoughts. The most “interesting” of these “interesting” thoughts? Being a single man is kind of overrated.

Now, as I stated on the day where I wrote about orgasms, “overrated” doesn’t mean “bad.” In fact, as the careers of Tupac and Derrick Rose continue to prove, something can be very, very good — even great — and still be overrated. I’ve enjoyed being single, and will likely continue to enjoy it. But, while it seems like many assume that being a single man (a single Black man, at that) is nothing but an utopic stream of easy popsicles, cold pancakes, and syrupy p*ssy, there are a few downsides.

1. It can be very lonely

As a person who wanted to be single, is a natural introvert, and generally enjoys doing things by himself, I’m surprised by how, for lack of a better term, “noticeable” the solitude and loneliness of singledom can be. Even when seeing multiple people and/or having tons of friends, being single means that you are…single, by yourself, and there may be times when you want to have someone around but there will be no one that you want to be around readily available to be around.

Then, to add insult to injury, if you’re an angsty motherf*cker like me, you’ll start thinking things like “Wait. I’m a single man. A single Black man. My dad named me after Dolemite. Shaka Zulu is my second cousin. People who’ve never even met me call me “Champ” for chrissakes. Why the f*ck do I feel lonely right now?” which’ll make it even worse.

2. You have to wear condoms. And, wearing condoms sucks

If you’re one of the 137 people left on Earth who always has protected sex — even if in a long-term, monogamous relationship — just skip this section and move on to #3. Also, I’ve left a plate of gotdamn sugar cookies at the end of this post as a reward for your duty. Please eat them with a gotdamn smile.

If you’re not one of these people, you should be able to relate to how frustrating it’s been to go from condom-less sex to having to worry about having gotdamn condoms all the damn time. And, even if you’re not actively having sex, “Do I have condoms?” and “Since I don’t have condoms, is there somewhere close where I can buy them?” always has to be on your mind.

Also, from a logistical perspective, they’re a hassle to put on, they smell like a pack of slutty balloons, and “sex with condoms” will always be the Mike Conley of coitus.

There is always the alternative — just don’t wear condoms while single, either — but I think one Cromartie per generation is enough.

(Btw, is it just me, or has the price of condoms spiked dramatically in the past four years? I was last single in 2008, and I don’t remember a box of condoms costing as much as it does to fill a gas tank. Does this qualify as a “first world problem?” If a Black blogger bitches about condoms in the woods, would Kanye’s missing draws make a sound?) 

As much as condoms suck, they don’t suck as much as…

3. Having to participate in the dating game

In a paradox so annoying that I almost didn’t mention it today because I plan on spending an entire day on this sole topic soon, I love meeting new, interesting women but I hate the process that usually goes along with meeting new, interesting women.

I understand (and appreciate) the purpose of the process, but knowing why it’s necessary doesn’t mean that you have to enjoy it.

4. The superficial romantic connections synonymous with singledom gets old

Ironically, the best thing about being a single man — possessing the ability to have myriad short, commitment-free relationships AT THE SAME DAMN TIME!!! — ends up being one of the worst after enough time has passed.

This actually hasn’t happened to me yet. I guess I’m still in the single honeymoon phrase. But, I’m certain it will, and the thought of this happening is already depressing me.

Actually, this entire list is getting depressing. ***Making note to self to make sure tomorrow’s post is about the playoffs or strippers or something***

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