Postpartum Depression And The Myth Of The Natural Mother

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By Mrs. Kathy Morelli

Are you at risk for postpartum depression? Read on for information!

We live with the myth of the natural mother. The truth is that many social behaviors, including mothering, are learned behaviors. It might be easier to discuss communication and relationship skills within a marriage as a learned behavior than mothering.

If you grow up in an abusive or just non-communicative home, it is likely that when you marry, you will discover that you need some help in the how-tos of a relationship. It is the same type of thing when becoming a mother. You might need some some help about the how-to of parenting a newborn and developing your identity as a mother.

Remember, social learning comes from watching other people in our personal lives and from the larger culture, and we integrate this into our personality. Give yourself the gift of qualified education and assistance.

Breastfeeding and helping a baby to sleep is a learned behavior. There are many ways to be a good mother and no one size fits all.

CLICK HERE for more.

Mrs. Kathy Morelli, LPC Marriage and Family Counseling Specializing in the Emotions of Pregnancy and Birth kathy@kathymorelli.com / www.kathymorelli.com

Technology & Our Children. What’s Going On?

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The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released a statement encouraging parents to ban direct screen time (television, movies, and any portable screen device) for children under two years of age. The Academy explained, “This updated policy statement provides further evidence that media — both foreground and background — have potentially negative effects and no known positive effects for children younger than 2 years. Thus, the AAP reaffirms its recommendation to discourage media use in this age group.”

A recent survey conducted by Common Sense Media indicates that many parents are ignoring the Academy’s advice. In the survey, found here, thirty seven percent of the households surveyed reported that over forty percent of their children under age two watch either TV or DVDs at least once a day. In a typical day, babies and toddlers spend an average of fifty four minutes watching TV or DVDs, compared to an average of twenty three minutes a day being read to. Twenty nine percent of 6 to 23 month olds in this study have a television in their bedroom (Emphasis and loud gasp ours). The Academy’s statement has been debated in cyberspace (where else) and has received pushback from parents who suggest that it is unreasonable and unrealistic to ban all screen use, and prefer instead to allow their toddlers to watch “Sesame Street” or play a game on the Ipad in moderation.

The Common Sense Media survey also found that about forty percent of 2- to 4-year-olds and more than half of 5- to 8-year-olds use smart phones, video iPods, iPads or similar devices. Common Sense has determined that in addition to the substantial digital divide (which exists because the majority of children from lower income and less well educated families do not have a computer at home), there is now an “app gap” between higher and lower income children, in terms of their access to and use of newer mobile devices and the programming available especially for these devices.

Read the full story HERE.

See The Pics! Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation Hosts Special Guests & 100 Teen Girls For 2nd Annual Girls Who Rule the World Mentoring Weekend

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By Team BLAM

The Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation’s 2nd Annual Girls Who Rule The World Mentoring Weekend (GWRTW) took place October 28-30th, mentoring 100 teenage girls from metro Atlanta’s counties, for an action-packed, empowering program to address real-world issues of teenage life, guide them to embrace their unique self-worth and power, forge new peer and mentor relationships and more at the Evergreen Marriott Conference Resort and Stone Mountain Park in Stone Mountain, GA.

With Georgia experiencing high rates of childhood obesity, high school drop outs among teenage girls, and exploitation of underage women by sex traffickers, Marjorie Harvey hosted the program encompassing self-discovery, fitness, health and wellness, entrepreneurship, mentoring, welcoming inspiring guests during the weekend including 5-time Olympian and Basketball Hall of Famer Teresa Edwards, CNN’s Soledad O’Brien and Fredricka Whitfield, motivational speaker Jackie Brewton, Mikki Taylor, Keshia Knight Pulliam, one-of-a-kind fitness in the natural splendor of Stone Mountain Park, as well as candid conversation and insight from herself, and Steve Harvey sharing insight on the male perspective.

The Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation’s 2nd Annual Girls Who Rule The World Mentoring Weekend (GWRTW) also welcomed back 10 young women from the 2010 GWRTW mentoring class to serve as junior mentors, and had support from the Evergreen Marriott Conference Resort, Stone Mountain Park, The Coca-Cola Company, Bank of America, Delta Airlines, Inc., Frito-Lay, Inc., Microsoft, Neiman Marcus, Tony Brewer and co., Newell Rubbermaid, Susan G. Komen, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta/Strong 4 Life, K&G Fashion Superstore, and more. Pre-selected from an application process, the teenage girls admitted to GWRTW sustain a role with The Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation from admission until two years post college, with this process including a mentor pairing and ongoing educational and developmental experiences with trusted mentors, to ensure continued enhancement and positive growth in helping these young women achieve their goals.

Marjorie Harvey Fires Up The Teenage Girls To Love Who They Are & Be Fearless!

The Teenage Mentees Take In A New Fitness Experience

One Of The Young Mentees Takes Her Turn On Stone Mountain’s  Sky Hike Challenge Course.

Host Marjorie Harvey, CNN’s Soledad O’Brien & Essence Magazine’s Mikki Taylor.

Host Marjorie Harvey & CNN’s Soledad O’Brien Greet Mentee Taylor Husdon

Renowned Jazz Artist Performs At The Steve & Marjorie Harvey Foundation

Olympian & Basketball Hall of Famer, Teresa Edwards, Strikes A Pose With Host Marjorie Harvey

Essence Magazine Editor-In-Chief, Constance White, Speaks To The Young Women About Mastering Their Destiny

Kids Need Chores. It’s Way More Important Than You Think.

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By Aiyana Ma’at

If you’re anything like me you understand the importance of giving children chores and allowing/requiring them to contribute to the smooth running of your household. It’s important for a whole host of reasons. Assigning household chores to our kids teaches personal and social responsibility. It allows children to experience both a sense of contribution to their family and a sense of accomplishment-and pride in that accomplishment. All of this will transfer to who they become as adults for sure.

I get all of that. But, raise your hand if you get me when I say It’s so much easier to just do it yourself!

I have to admit  that my hubby and I have been guilty of being inconsistent with making sure our children have clearly defined chores that we actually make sure they do. It’s more difficult with young children-our kids are 4, 5, 7, and 10. It’s at this age where the chore is more about instilling the discipline in them and allowing them to feel good about their contribution than it is about the task itself. In other words, when my girls ask to wipe the table, clean the mirrors, or wipe down the refrigerator (I don’t know why they like wiping stuff so much…smile); I don’t really expect for them to get that clean.

On the other hand, my newly turned 10 year old son is at the age where he can actually make a dent in some things and I’m loving it. The other day there was a little odor coming from my sink where my dishes were piling up. As I cleaned other areas around my house I kept thinking “I’ve GOT to get to those dishes!” So, my oldest comes in the kitchen and says “Mom, when are you going to clean those dishes? I’m tired of that smell”. On the inside I was like “Say what? Oh, no he didn’t.” But, what I said in my sweet as syrup Mommy voice was: “You are so right Asante. Thanks for reminding me that you have two hands. Roll your sleeves up and get to it.” You should have seen his face. Priceless! He actually looked as if I said I need you to clean our dishes and all of our neighbors dishes every day for the next two weeks. He tried his best to get out of it and it was at that point that I realized we have to be consistent with giving our children chores and making sure they do them.

Chores not only instill discipline and the beginnings of a strong work ethic but they also create a sense of self-sufficiency and self-respect. When you can do for yourself and others (beginning with your family)  you are automatically empowered and begin to think (without even realizing it) “What else can I do?” So, let’s not sleep on the many benefits of having our children, even as young as age 2, do their chores. It’s a bigger deal than a lot of us realize.

So, now what? Stumped like I was about what exactly are the best chores to assign based on your child’s age? Check out this list that wife and homeschooling mom of four, Mandi Ehman created and give your kids some chores! 🙂

Here are some age-appropriate chores for kids of all ages:

Chores for 2 and 3 year olds

Two- and three-year-olds are especially eager to help with household chores, especially when you’re by their side. Rather than asking them to pick up toys and then walking away, make clean up fun by turning it into a game. Invite them to dust the lower shelves and furniture while you’re dusting the higher places. And praise them for pitching in with a happy heart!

Pick up toys

Put dirty clothes in hamper

Dust furniture

Chores for 4 and 5 year olds

Four- and five-year-olds are capable of a lot more than we often give them credit for.

Make bed

Put clean laundry away

Wipe window sills

Empty small trash cans

Chores for 6 and 7 year olds

Many mothers of older children say that everything gets easier when kids turn six or seven years old because they are suddenly able to really help in a way that makes a difference.

Make lunch

Help fold clothes

Vacuum

Wipe bathroom sink*

*Vinegar is an amazing natural cleaner and safer than traditional chemicals for children (and adults too!) to use.

Chores for 8 year olds and older

While eight year olds are certainly still kids and need plenty of time to play and just run free, they’re also able to help out around the house at an age appropriate level. Now is a great time to start teaching them to do laundry, wash dishes,  cook simple dishes, take out the trash and more!

Do laundry

Help cook

Take out the trash

Clean the shower or tub

BLAM Fam: How do you do chores in your household?

Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website, BlackLoveAndMarriage.com, as well as PurposePusher.com. Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.

Strong Family 101: Do You ‘Give Thanks’ WITH Your Family Consistently?

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By Aiyana Ma’at

A few years ago the Creator placed on my heart the need for my husband, Ayize, and I and our children to create a time to come together purely to give thanks to God for all that He has done, is doing and will continue to do in our lives. I expressed what I was feeling to my husband and he was like “Cool”. So profound! Lol.

You may be thinking “Oh, yes this is wonderful. We do it all the time in our family”. And, if you do that’s GREAT. It really does make a profound impact on you and everyone who participates. It’s one of those things that you can’t truly appreciate until you get into the posture of gratitude and experience it. And, I’m not talking about giving thanks together at church or in a public venue outside of the house. I’m not talking about saying “Thank you Lord!” in passing while you’re around your family and I’m not talking about when you bless your food before a meal together. I’m talking about creating a ritual where your family comes to know that, for example, on Monday evenings at 7pm the lights dim a bit, soft meditative music is played to signal to your household that it is time to give thanks, one child knows it’s his job to light the ______candle (whatever you want to call it—unity candle, gratitude candle, etc.), another child knows it’s their job to pour libations, and the life changing power of giving thanks begins.

So, let me pause for a second for those of you who are reading this right now and are thinking “What is the big freaking deal? Is it really that serious? Is having an attitude of gratitude important? Well, I can only speak for myself and my family. Being grateful literally transforms my energy, my atmosphere, and my internal feelings. It just shifts my perception of my life and centers me in what is most important.

Unlockyourhappiness.com has this to say about gratitude:

Is having an attitude of gratitude important?

When it comes to experiencing a better life, Gratitude is considered to be a ‘biggie’. Some of the self-improvement gurus even talk about a Law of Gratitude. Many people keep a daily gratitude journal in which they write up a gratitude list of things to be grateful for that day. And apparently lots of people carry a gratitude rock in their pocket to remind them to express gratitude during the day.

The vibration of gratitude

It is said that having an attitude of gratitude carries with it a vibration that raises one’s own power of positive thinking so that we attract towards us all things good. Our desires are more easily fulfilled, and we experience a happier and healthier life.

Some would regard this as New Age thinking, and dismiss it out of hand. Some believers would say, ‘don’t deny it if you haven’t tried it’.

While I must admit that my family and I haven’t been as consistent as  I’d like, it is something that always brings calm, peace, joy, coziness, and the love of God in our home when we do it. I also know that even when my 4 year old is flip flopping all over the place and I have to keep telling my 5 year old to sit down please (in my fake it til you make it sweet mommy voice) they are learning and absorbing from me, my husband, and the atmosphere.

Never underestimate the impact you can have on your family—your kids and your spouse. I, for one, will use as much as I can in any way that I can to influence my family as much as I can. Will you?

BLAM Fam, What are some of the things you do or will start doing with your family to GIVE THANKS? There are so many ways. Share them with us!

Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website, BlackLoveAndMarriage.com, as well as PurposePusher.com. Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.

BlackLoveAndMarriage.com Partners With The Nat’l. Children’s Oral Health Foundation & America’s Toothfairy To Get The Word Out About The #1 Chronic Childhood Disease In The U.S.

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By Team BLAM

When we were asked to assist the National Children’s Oral Health Foundation (NCOHF) with getting the word out about the # 1 chronic childhood disease in the United States we were honored and anxious to do our part. When I learned what that disease was I was stunned. If you’d have asked me what the #1 childhood chronic disease was I would’ve have said asthma or obesity or maybe even juvenile diabetes, but TOOTH DECAY!? No, the words tooth decay would have never come out of my mouth. The more I learned–the more I was amazed. Severe tooth decay also known as pediatric dental disease truly is a silent epidemic. Look closely at some of these astonishing facts:

A Silent Epidemic

Pediatric dental disease is 5 times more common than asthma and 7 times more common than hay fever

44% of American children will suffer from pediatric dental disease before they reach kindergarten

73% of preschoolers and 48% of primary school age children who have experienced cavities currently have unfilled cavities

While the American Academy of Pediatric Dentists (AAPD) recommends that every child establish a dental home by their first birthday, only 1.5% of 1-year-olds have had a dental office visit compared with 89% who have had an office-based physician visit

4.5 million children develop pediatric dental disease every year

Left untreated, pediatric dental disease can lead to malnourishment, bacterial infections, required emergency surgery, and even death

Dental disease has been linked to heart disease, stroke, diabetes, pneumonia, poor pregnancy outcomes, and dementia

A National Crisis

More than 51 million school hours and 164 million work hours are lost each year due to dental disease, leading to increased educational disparities and decreased productivity.

Approximately 43% of Americans lack dental insurance, including more than 20 million children; this is almost 3 times the population lacking medical coverage.

For every $1 spent on oral health preventive measures, American taxpayers are saved as much as $50 in restorative and emergency procedures for the under- and uninsured.

The good news is that pediatric dental disease is not only treatable and curable, it is completely preventable through basic education and proper oral hygiene practices.

The National Children’s Oral Health Foundation is dedicated to eliminating children’s preventable pain and suffering from severe tooth decay. By supporting a national Affiliate network of nonprofit healthcare partners and facilitating signature volunteer programs, NCOHF is working aggressively to ensure that all children have the building blocks for happy, healthy and productive futures.

DO YOUR PART and TRICK OR TREAT FOR AMERICA’S TOOTHFAIRY.

You can help – by letting people know about the NCOHF’s “Trick or Treat for America’s Tooth Fairy” fundraising drive. This Halloween – set an example for your children in teaching them to care for other children. Joining the drive is so easy even your kids can take part!

Visit: https://americastoothfairy. myetap.org/fundraiser/ trickortreat/ From this site, you can register for the fundraiser, start or join a team, set a goal, and begin raising money in support of our child-saving, smile-saving cause! You can also donate to the fundraisers or search for other participants and donate toward their goals.

We, at BLAM, are proud to do our part starting with making sure our own children brush and floss twice a day! 😉 We hope you’ll join us!

This Halloween The Ma’at Family Is Taking The Healthy Halloween House Pledge

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According to the CDC, kids born after the year 2000 are predicted to have a shorter lifespan than their parents. Isn’t that crazy? When I read that I knew something had to change in the way that we are are raising and educating our children about nutrition and healthy living.

I’m not a health nut by any means. In fact I’m one of those people  who gets annoyed by low fat, low calorie…candy, cookies, or ice cream for example. I’ve been known to say on many occasions “If I’m gonna have a cookie the I’m gonna do it right–give me the real thing!”

However, when I had children my “not the best” eating habits became painfully obvious and I started to make small shifts in what I prepared and exposed my children too. I started to be more intentional about having conversations with them about making good food choices. The hardest (but most important) part for me was that if I was going to talk about it, I had to be about it myself!

One of the things that I have found to work for me and my family is making small incremental changes over time. Personally, I think those are the changes that truly last. So, when I learned about the Healthy Halloween House pledge I was intrigued and inspired. We never allow our kids to eat all of the candy they get during Halloween anyway. We let them have their little bags for about a week (if that) and allow them 1 or 2 pieces a day and then magically–it disappears (in the trash). Amazingly, they’ve never even noticed. I think my children are more excited about getting their costumes and seeing how much candy they can pile up than anything else. So, I thought “Why not make our house a Healthy Halloween house this year?” Small changes in our family’s behavior like this = big time awareness and impact on my children that will serve them for a lifetime. So, I’m proud to say we went to the store and got a bunch of inexpensive non-food trick or treat alternatives like little balls, silly bandz, thumb puppets, bracelets, etc.

Healthy Halloween House is a national grassroots campaign to create a healthier world for our kids free from obesity and diet-related disease. The organization consists of all volunteers working in joyful service for healthier kids. HHH is an initiative of Leadership for a Healthier World and is not funded or sponsored by anyone.

The web site has a parents’ pledge and many healthy and non-food trick-or-treat alternatives. The pledge is:

“As a Healthy Halloween House, I pledge to provide a Trick-or-Treat alternative for kids that is not candy or junk food. I believe we can create a healthier world for our kids that strengthens our community without contributing to the epidemic of childhood obesity.”

These are some other fun giveaways for Halloween that are not edible:

Temporary tattoos

Silly Bandz

Stickers

Brightly Colored Halloween pencils

Sidewalk chalk

Toothbrushes

Money/coins

Small packs of crayons or pencils

School supplies

Play-Doh

Bubbles

Play jewelry

Super balls

Glow sticks/bracelets/necklaces

Spider rings

Many more non-food giveaways are available at Oriental Trading.

So, BLAM Fam: Would you consider making your house a Healthy Halloween House this year or is it just an insult to Halloween? Lol.

Teenage Relationships: Are You Aware Of The Statistics?

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By Jonathan Hardcastle

Being a teenager is a troubling time. While adjusting to all the changes going on both in your biology and your responsibilities, making the right decisions can be hard when it comes to topics such as relationships. In this article, we’ll offer some statistics regarding teenage relationships so that you can better understand exactly what’s in store for the average teenager who is dating.

While domestic violence is a terrible aspect of adult relationships, few adults realize that this problem also occurs in their sons and daughters. A study conducted by “Children Now” in 1995 saw that a full 89 percent of teens have been in dating relationships and a whopping 40 percent of all teenagers know someone their age that was beaten or abused by a boyfriend in a relationship. This is a serious problem that every parent needs to watch out for to ensure the health and safety of their children. Another study, conducted by Silverman, Raj, Mucci and Hathaway in 2001 showed that young women who were in relationships that involved violence were more likely to abuse substances, develop eating disorders, conduct risky sexual behaviors, get pregnant, and even commit suicide. As you can see, domestic violence in teenagers is very worrisome for a host of reasons.

In the good news department, the number of teen pregnancies occurring in the United States has been declining since the early nineties. These decreases are found across the board, with age, marital status, and ethnicity not being a significant factor in the decrease, representing a uniform drop. Studies show that this drop in teen pregnancy can be due to the greater use of contraceptives by teens. Lowered rates of sexual activity amongst adolescents also are a factor in the declining rate. However, the teen pregnancy rate in the United States is still one of the highest rates in any industrialized nation. The use of contraceptives needs to be encouraged by all parties, regardless of religion or creed. If a teenager has sex unprotected, they run a risk of getting pregnant that is approximately 90%.

One aspect of teenage pregnancy that is frightening is the number of adult males that are having sexual relationships with teenage females. In cases where a girl aged 15 to 17 gets pregnant, over 50% of the time, an adult male is the father. A study conducted in California showed that seven out of ten teenage births were caused by men aged twenty or above.

BLAM Fam…let’s keep an eye on our children.  It’s our responsibility to protect them, provide for them, and guide them into adulthood responsibly and respectably.

Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles for http://learntobecloser.com/ – In addition, Jonathon also writes articles for http://4homelife.net/ and http://foracloserfamily.com/

Flash Mob Alert! Join The Nationwide Dance Party For Healthy Kids & Fight Childhood Obesity Oct.24th-31st

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By Team BLAM

There are so many people, groups, and organizations doing truly great things to keep kids healthy and active and The Movement is no exception.

The all-volunteer group’s plan is to create a social avalanche of publicity onto the issue of childhood obesity by holding flash mob dance performances around the country from October 24 – 31, 2011. They hope to get enough people dancing to broadcast the video footage when the campaign ends.

Their mission is to draw attention to childhood obesity and drive traffic to local and national healthy kids organizations so people can get help or get involved.

Flash mobs will dance, sing and perform in towns and cities around the U.S. in joyful service to healthier kids.  They will also encourage  flash mob organizers to partner with local kids’ health organizations, nonprofits and community groups so that local groups can strengthen their numbers and raise their visibility in their community.

Check out the official kid-friendly song and choreography for The Movement below and get involved! Organize your own Flash Mob & join The Movement.



Black Couples That Adopt White Babies. Does It Matter?

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Back in 2008, NFL player DeMarcus Ware and his wife Taniqua caught a lot of criticism over their decision to adopt a white baby. Some argued that White babies are easily adopted as there are long waiting lines for them, but that black babies in America have a shortage of adoptive parents. But to the Wares, they say they fell in love with a little baby and paid no attention to its color. After struggling to conceive and dealing with many miscarriages and a still born, the couple delivered a baby boy last year, November 2010, named DeMarcus Ware, Jr.

In the reverse, celebrities like Madonna, Angelina Jolie, Sandra Bullock, HBO’s Weeds actress Mary Louise Parker, Hugh Jackman, Stephen Spielberg, Michelle Pfeiffer, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise, all have adopted black or bi-racial children without much fuss.

What are your thoughts? Is it wrong or a bigger deal for black couples to adopt white babies versus the reverse? If so, why?

Source: Bellyitchblog.com

CLICK HERE for the full article from Bellyitchblog.com