VIDEO: What Is Going On?! Angry Dad Charged With Biting Off Son’s Coach’s Ear

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By Team BLAM

C’mon now! I know as parents we get passionate…but biting off your child’s coach’s ear??? Really? How are we going to teach our children how to manage their emotions and their behavior if we can’t keep ourselves together? And, don’t get me wrong we’ve all gotten upset before and maybe even got a little beside ourselves…but biting off body parts ya’ll!! Lol! I know it’s not funny…OMG! C’mon people! We know better!

Check out the story from Dreamindemon.com

Springfield, MA – After his son’s team lost a 6th grade basketball game, Timothy Lee Forbes has been accused of attacking the winning team’s coach and biting off part of the coach’s ear.

The incident happened on Friday after his son’s team lost in the Catholic Youth Organization finals. While kids from both teams were shaking hands, words were exchanged between the two men, leading to Forbes punching the man and then biting off part of his ear.

Forbes fled the scene after other people at the game were able to pull him off the coach. Reports are that several of the 10-12 year old kids were knocked to the floor and left crying after the melee.

 

The injured coach was rushed to the hospital where doctors there were able to reattach the piece of his ear that had been removed. He has since been released and has returned home.

Timothy Lee Forbes eventually turned himself in to police and pleaded not guilty to charges of disorderly conduct, assault and battery, and felony mayhem. His attorney told reporters his client does not have any priors, but Springfield Police Sgt. John Delaney said that they have arrested Forbes before.

The Western Massachusetts CYO Basketball League said it was “stunned by this act against one of our most dedicated coaches” and that it was the first time anything like it had occurred in league history.

 

Dr. Kunjufu Says ‘There Is Nothing Wrong With Black Students’

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(Chicago, IL, March 1 2012) – African American students are driving positive academic change in some public schools nationwide, says Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu, national education consultant and author of the newly released There Is Nothing Wrong With Black Students. In fact, Black students in more than 3,000 schools are performing well above the national average.

There are eight million African American students nationwide: 7.5 million attend public schools, 400,000 attend private schools, and 100,000 are homeschooled. Of the 7.5 million public school students, 90 percent (6.75 million) attend regular schools, and ten percent attend accelerated magnet schools. Kunjufu spotlights the great strides being made in some regular public schools because he says, “This marginalized population has been the most neglected. I want all children to succeed, but I focus on the 6.75 million African American children in regular public schools because they lack both choice and a voice.”

Kunjufu, who logs several days a week working with schools in some of the most underserved communities nationwide, says educators at the forefront of change are modeling innovative approaches, including:

CLICK HERE to read more.

VIDEO: Is This You? Dr. Phil & Deion Sanders Takes An Overly Competitive Mom To Task

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By Team BLAM

Kia is a self-professed overzealous sports parent. Dr. Phil calls into question her sideline antics and Deion Sanders says she is certified crazy! Do you see yourself here anywhere? You may automatically say “Absolutely not!”

However, we all have the capacity to over do it with our mouths and our attitudes from time to time. And, it doesn’t matter how well intentioned we are–it still comes across the same way–annoying and over the top as hell!

Love what Dr. Phil says here: “When external motivation goes up, up, up internal motivation goes down! Marinate and meditate on that family. Remember there is a difference between SUPPORT & SUFFOCATION!


Do We Expect Our Sons To Marry The Women They Impregnate? Do We Expect Our Daughters To Marry Before Cohabiting?

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By Heather Smith

According to a study completed at Pennsylvania State University, 96% of children born to African American women under 24 years old have no fathers. Not only that, but 59% of women cohabit at least once by age 24. Most cohabitation are short lived, with approximately one in five resulting in a marriage.

What does that mean for the children? What does that mean for the millions of single mothers out there? What does that say about the fathers?

To me, these numbers represent a failing in the community to teach children what a family really is. Whatever happened to marriage? To taking care of your children, financially and more? What happened to one wife, one husband, for life? Is it out of fashion? Do the morals of our forefathers no longer apply to this generation? To the needs of children no longer require a nuclear family structure?

And why is the African American community the hardest hit? In that same study they found that only 66% of whites and 72% of Mexican Americans had unmarried births before age 24, compared to 96% of African Americans. Those numbers, yes, are still staggering, but nothing compared to the overwhelming frequency of unmarried mothers in the African American community.

Is it a cultural issue? An equality issue? An education issue? What is it that makes these unwed mothers so prevalent in our community? What is it that allows these fathers to abandon their children?

Part of that, I think, is our expectations. No one expects their sons to marry the women they impregnate. No one expects their daughters to marry before cohabitating. No one thinks that a fatherless child and an unwed mother are unusual occurrences. The very familiarity, instead of breeding contempt, has bread apathy. No one cares.

There are many reasons we should care. Children need father and mother. They need the structure. They need the stability. They need the love. And they are losing it, year by year, decade by decade, to apathy, hatred, and laziness. Why do you think the issues and problems in our culture continue to grow instead of get better? Why do you think children bring guns to school, teens join gangs, and adults choose to deal instead of work? They have no family. They have no stability. They have no fathers.

Anyone who thinks a father, a family, is not necessary to raise a good child is wrong. Oh, yes, children can succeed despite this disability, but that is like saying living without one eye is normal and expected. Yes, you can function, but there is something missing in your life. You are never complete, never whole.

It is the community that will have to act. We are past the point of waiting for things to fall back into place. There are no longer cracks but gaping chasms that must be overcome. Only together can we reunite the morals and foundations of the family.

 

Heather Smith is an ex-nanny. Passionate about thought leadership and writing, Heather regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and parenting blogs/websites. She also provides value to nanny service by giving advice on site design as well as the features and functionality to provide more and more value to nannies and families across the U.S. and Canada. She can be available at H.smith7295@gmail.com.

7 Ways To Connect & Celebrate Black History Month With Your Children

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PBS–Teaching children about the historical accomplishments and struggles of African Americans benefits everyone. By connecting children with history, they’ll gain a better understanding of themselves no matter what color they are. And, they’ll learn to develop compassion for other people.

In the spirit of honoring African American pioneers and landmark events in black history, engage your children in activities that capture their senses. Whether reading books, listening to music or making soulful meals, there are plenty of fun ways for kids to learn about the African American experience. And remember, your children can enjoy these activities long after February is over.

Read some books.

Libraries and bookstores offer a variety of books related to black history. Whether focusing on slavery, the civil rights movement or something in between, books are available for toddlers to tweens. Check out our book recommendations.

Feed your souls.

Kids may not like everything, but they’ll often try different things. Perhaps it’s time to cook up a pot of southern-style black-eyed peas. Or, your little ones might like to help bake an old-fashioned peach cobbler. Preparing dishes that are true to African American heritage is an appetizing way to experience black history.

Experience the performing arts.

There’s nothing like experiencing a live performance. Dance troupes and concerts are exciting for kids of all ages. Older ones may also enjoy poetry readings or plays. Libraries, community centers and schools usually offer these types of events for little or no cost.

Grow a family tree.

Ever thought about celebrating your own history? Kids love projects. Start digging around together to uncover family members from long ago. This takes time and a bit of research, but the results will be cherished forever. Visit our Expert Q & A with Henry Louis Gates, Jr. for ideas on how to begin.

Put your hands on history.

Historical places that are linked to various periods in black history can be found across the country. Visit the home of Frederick Douglass or John Coltrane. Stand beside a statue honoring Buffalo Soldiers or Billie Holiday. Pop in a museum dedicated to African American Heritage. Finding out what’s near you is just a few clicks away.

Bop around with jazz.

Nothing gets kids moving like music. Suggest they take a break from their usual CDs and expose them to jazz. This music genre has deep roots in African American history and culture. The cool rhythms will have them (and you) foot-tapping and finger-snapping in no time! See the PBS KIDS Jazz site for some jazzy activities.

Seek out elderly friends or relatives.

Access to first-hand accounts of black history may be closer than you think. Brainstorm with children (if they’re old enough) to create a list of elders you know. Then start asking. Maybe there’s a neighbor who marched in support of civil rights. Perhaps one of the men working at your local barber shop couldn’t drink from a water fountain because he was “colored.” Not only will your children be able to experience “living” black history, but they’ll likely make the storyteller’s day.

Visit PBS Parents for more.

First Year With Twins…A Father’s Point Of View

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By Dan Brown

People always ask my wife and I: “How did you ever do it with two babies? I just can’t imagine it”. My answer is always the same…we just do. We just do what needs to be done. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, it’s exhausting. Yes, it’s stressful. But we find a way to get the things done that need to be done. That’s really the key, is finding a way that works for you and your spouse. I’ve listed some things in this article that have worked for us, maybe you can use some of the same things to help you through the first year.

 

Get into a routine

 

I can’t stress this enough. In my opinion, this is the most important thing during the first year if you’ve two or more babies under the age of one at home…get everyone into a routine and stick to it. Feed them at the same time, change diapers at the same time, put them down for naps at the same time, put them to bed at the same time, etc… This will make it a lot easier on you! If you feed them at the same time, you always know when they have been fed last. You won’t be wondering, “was that Colby I fed a half hour ago or was that Camden”? Trust me, you will find yourself asking those kinds of questions. If you put them down for a nap at the same time, you can take a nap yourself!

 

If you don’t get into a routine like this, you will always be feeding a baby, or changing diapers, or trying to get one of them to fall asleep. It won’t be long and you’ll be worn out, because there’s always be something to do.

 

Sleep

 

I know that this seems impossible now with two children under the age of one, but you have to try and get enough sleep. I’m not saying that you can sleep as much as you did before you had children, but try and get as many hours of quality sleep in a row as you can.

 

When the twins were less than about 4 or 5 months old, and still not sleeping through the night, my wife and I worked out a system that seemed to work pretty well. Since she stayed home during the day while I went to work, we decided to sleep in shifts. Usually, she would go to bed between 8 or 8:30, and I would stay up with the twins. No matter what happened, they were my responsibility until about midnight or 1:00am. Sometimes they would sleep during that time, sometimes they wouldn’t. It didn’t matter, that was my wife’s time to sleep. Then, at around midnight or 1:00am, I would change diapers and feed them again before putting them to bed. I also went to bed at that time. Usually we could count on them to sleep for another two to three hours before they woke up again. That would put us in the 2:00am to 3:00am range. Then it was my wife’s turn to get up with them, feed them and change diapers, and it was my time to sleep.

 

This system seemed to work pretty well for us…it was a way for both of us to get around five or six hours of quality sleep in a row. The bottom line is to find something that works for both you and your wife because you both are going to need as much sleep as possible to make it through the next day.

 

Divide and Conquer

 

For those of you guys out there that still believe it’s a woman’s job to take care of the baby, that’s just not going to work with twins. If you expect your wife to feed the babies, dress them, give them baths, change all of the diapers, put them down for naps, she’s going to be very tired and very irritable. You know how the saying goes…”when mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy”.

 

So guys…get used to helping out. That includes helping out with the babies and around the house. Don’t be afraid to change a diaper, make a bottle, do the dishes, sweep the floor. In fact, it’s even better if you do these things without being asked or told to do them first. Trust me, it will be easier on everyone. Having two babies at one time is very time-consuming…there are always lots of things to do. Pitch in and your marriage as well as the babies will reap the benefits.

 

Make time for yourself

 

As anyone with kids can tell you, once in awhile you just need to get away and have some time for yourself. As much as you love your kids, sometimes you need time without the kids. My wife and I are both pretty flexible when it comes to allowing each other some time away. I don’t mind when she goes to a movie with her friends, or plays bunco (whatever that is!) with the neighborhood bunco group. She gives me the same freedom to play golf or go fishing once in awhile with my friends. As long as neither one of you take it to an extreme, you should encourage each other to do it.

 

You also need to make sure you work in some time where you and your spouse spend time together without the kids. Don’t feel guilty about it…think of it as a sanity check! My wife and I try and get our parents to watch the kids once in awhile while we go out for dinner or even for a weekend away. We just feel more comfortable having our parents watch them rather than a babysitter, but that’s really more of a personal preference thing for us. However you do it, just make sure you and your spouse make some time for each other without the kids.

 

The house just isn’t going to be as clean

 

This is an important lesson for first time parents of twins. Before my wife and I started having kids, we were both kind of anal about keeping the house spotless, straightened up, and things just so. It hasn’t been that way for quite awhile now…and you know what, it just doesn’t matter. Our house is usually a mess, the dishes don’t get done as soon as they used to, and I don’t cut the grass whenever I see a blade of grass higher than another. With all of the responsibilities that go with having children, especially under the age of one, you just won’t have as much time as you used to. Get used to it!

6 Ways To Tell If Your Child Is Being Sexually Abused

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By Laura Lanfield, P.I.

One of the saddest sights I have ever seen as a private investigator was a young mother who had just been told that her young daughter was the victim of an ongoing sexual abuse situation and the perpetrator was her 2nd husband.

I aksed her “How come you didn’t know? She was with you every day. Who does your laundry? Who changed the sheets.” Her answer confused me, “MY mother did those things.”

And she said, “My mother slept in bed with her every night. ” And so began a terrible case for me. One of sexual abuse, tyranny and intense frustration. Having been hired to work defense for a woman charged with failure to protect, a woman whose sexual predator husband had been raping her daughter for 5 years since the age of 8. I was stunned to realize that she did not know.

She told me that had she known she ould have killed him. The story unfolded before me over the next 6 months. What I learned inspired me to share important information with parents of young children. It could happen to anyone, anywhere but in my private investigating experience, more often with 2nd marriages, live-in lovers and so called friends who have been invited to share a household with young children. In today’s world it is easy to check references, do background checks, investigate criminal histories, and locate sexual predators. Never in our history has it been so simple, available and necessary. Most private investigators’ work hand in hand with local governments and have access to more information than ever before. Any suspicion even the mildest necessitates checking so that children live safely and grow up unmolested with happy, secure childhoods and wonderful memories of being protected by their parents and loved ones.

Sexual predators are among us, the internet has made the problem even more serious and widespread, but careful attention to growing kids and their needs by loving parents can prevent the horrible repercussion of repressed sexual abuse.

Here are som clues as to whether your child may be a victim of sexual abuse:

1) Is your chid suddenly less communicative withyou?
2) Has their school work taken a turn for the worse?
3) Do they stay to themselves more and see less of their friends?
4) Has their appetite for food diminished or their appetites increased excessively?
5) Do they seem depressed or cry a lot?
6) Do they avoid or try to avoid being with your significant other?

LAURA LANFIELD is the author of the new book, BAIL BONDS BABYlON (http://www.LauraLanfield.com) and has been one of the most sought-after and successful female private investigators in the country for over 25 years. 

Want To Turn Your Passion Into Profit? Learn From 11 Year Old Business Owner Maya Penn

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By Team BLAM

11 Year Old Maya Penn knows what many adults are still struggling to realize. “Do what you love and the money will come.” Maya is a creative little girl who enjoys making things and started out by finding odds and ends around the house. She would make a hat or scarf and eventually decided she could have a shop. Maya designs and hand makes eco-friendly clothing and accessories. And she’s now the CEO and owner of her own online company called Maya’s Ideas.”

She is a true inspiration. If all of us would remember to encourage the natural gifts and talents in our children and in ourselves–we would all be much better (and richer) for it.

 

 

“The One Who Loves Their Children Is Careful To Discipline Them”

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

 Proverbs 13:24
“Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.”Most parents have heard the phrase “spare the rod, spoil the child.”
Many of us use the phrase as a justification for us spanking/whooping/beating our children. But have we ever read the entire verse in the Bible? The word that sticks out to me is “careful.” We have to be “careful to discipline them.” I think that care is something that is lost on most parents.
Think about it: you were trained for your job, you were trained to drive your car, but what did you do to train for becoming a parent. If you are like most folks that I know, that “training” involved a good time and a messed up form of birth control. Or if you were really advanced you attended a childbirth class. That’s great for getting a little person into the world but then what? Have you trained to handle a toddler? Have you trained to deal with a middle schooler? What about training to deal with a college student? Most folks would answer “no.” And that’s a problem.

The mere ability to reproduce does not make a person a good parent. Just because your mama was a good mama, doesn’t mean you will be a good parent. Being a good parent is innate in some folks. But what about the rest of the folks? Are they actively seeking training to become better parents?

I readily admit that I am not Dr. Spock or a child psychologist. But I am a scholar (normally, I am called a nerd). I believe in researching and trying different techniques to effectively parent my children. From reading articles on the web to checking out books at the library to talking to youth workers; I surround myself and my children with information to help us communicate better. Why? Because I love my children and want to be careful with the precious gifts that God has given me.

I want to make sure that nothing I say or do crushes any of their dreams. I want to make sure that they know that I love them, support them, believe in them. I want my children to come to me if they are ever in trouble. That doesn’t mean that they get a pass to act a fool, but it does mean that we will deal with it and I will still love them despite their misdeeds. I love my children enough to use care with them.

So take a moment a access your parenting skills. If you have a deficit in an area, work on improving it. Seek help at churches, youth groups, schools, or grab a book from the library. Check yourself. If you can’t objectively judge your own actions, take a look at how your children treat each other. What you see may shock you. When I saw how my oldest child was speaking to my youngest, I had to check my own tongue… Now I make a conscious effort to speak life to not only correct misbehavior but to praise good behavior.

So use care when disciplining your child, but make sure it comes from a place of love.

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

Children – The True Victims Of Divorce

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By Ruth Purple

The family is the basic unit of society and every care should be taken to preserve it by the state, church and the family itself. However, if counseling and reconciliation cannot solve the conflict within the family, divorce maybe seen as the best solution. To couples with kids however the situation is much more complex as compared to childless couples.

Divorce can be devastating to the children and may leave a long-lasting scar that may affect their being useful citizens of the community. During the divorce process, the offspring’s will go through emotional conflicts. Anger is prevalent. Anger at the present condition, anger towards their parents, themselves and some may feel that they are to at fault for the separation.

Feelings of sadness, misery and loss are felt because there will be changes in where they will live. They will lose the other parent, their friends, their school, people and circumstances that stabilize their daily lives. They will feel rejection. Studies have shown that boys and girls are affected differently and respond in various manners.

Boys are more rowdy because they have to show and act out their inner feelings. They go on fights, they are defiant. They cause disturbances and would not be still even for a short period of time. They are the ones who will turn to drugs and alcohol. They girls on the other hand suffer inwardly and become introverts.

They are apprehensive and miserable. Thus they turn to untimely relationships or sexual promiscuity that may lead to early pregnancy or early marriage. Thus if not guided accordingly these children tend to stop school and will waste themselves into substance abuse. They will become citizens with emotional and mental illnesses, criminals or discards of society.

To save the children, the parents should have the obligation to guide their children through the divorce process and for a period after that until their emotional conflicts have been resolved. They should subdue their own emotion turmoil and together try to show the same affection and devotion for the children.

Explain to the kids to make them understand why the parents have to go on their separate ways. They have to be assured that they are in secured hands despite the changes in the family set-up. During the divorce proceedings, the couple should be civil with each other because this will also have a bearing in alleviating the negative feelings of the children.

It will slowly enfold in their understanding that they are undergoing a process and a change but they will still have their both parents. After the divorce has been finalized, visitation of non-custodial parent should be encouraged and made a positive experience to everyone. The children can then accept the situation gradually and will cope with the changes in their lives.

On the other hand, the non-custodial parent is also encouraged to have a hand in the affairs of the child and will be a constant partner in guiding the growth of the children.

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.  You can read more from Ruth at http://www.relazine.com