By J. Terrence Dermott

There is no avoiding this simple fact about massage therapy: Providing or receiving the healing power of touch is intimate. And intimacy, even in the most professional settings, can expose vulnerabilities and lead to uncomfortable and even awkward situations.

It is the responsibility of the massage therapist to create an environment that is conducive to a healthy, relaxing and satisfying experience for the client. On the other hand, it is the responsibility of the client to communicate with the massage therapist in a manner that allows the therapist to provide the service in a manner that puts the client at ease.

An experienced massage therapist will be able to guide the recipient through the massage process so that there is little confusion about some of the basic areas that cause embarrassment or confusion.

Take It All Off?

The amount of clothing worn during a massage is dependant on the type of massage being administered. It is normal to be completely undressed during a full body Swedish massage but is not absolutely necessary. If a client prefers to wear panties or briefs during the massage that is fine. Frankly, the client should be able to wear whatever makes them most comfortable. Regardless, the therapist will appropriately drape the client so that only the areas of the body being massaged are exposed.

The therapist will usually instruct the client about what to expect before they begin undressing. The therapist will then leave the room and allow the client to undress and get comfortable on the massage table under a sheet or towel. The massage therapist will then uncover only the area of the body being massaged.

Touchy Feely

There are a variety of reasons that an individual may want a massage: stress relief, relaxation, general wellness, enhance circulation, improved flexibility, etc. No matter what the reason for the massage the therapist is always under the obligation to respect the boundaries set by the client and to establish his or her own boundaries.

Therapeutic massage is, by nature, a sensual experience. However, it is not intended to be a sexual experience. If a client, male or female, makes any overtly sexual requests or suggestions then the therapist is obligated to professionally and forcefully identify the inappropriateness of these comments. Conversely, no therapist should take liberties or make assumptions relative to what parts of the body can be touched.

In general, it is never appropriate to touch the genitals during a massage session. The client cannot expect to be touched sexually and the therapist cannot touch a client in a sexual manner. Either case will betray the trust in the relationship between the two parties…to say nothing of the potential for legal and ethical issues.

And let’s be clear. While there are documented benefits of breast massage, it is not, and should not be, included in a total body massage. Breasts are off limits unless a very special request is made of a qualified therapist. The National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork includes a specific policy in its Standards of Practice. The Board states that therapists may “only provide therapeutic breast massage as indicated in the plan of care, and only after receiving informed voluntary consent from the client.” That being said, breast massage is legally restricted in some states.

An experienced massage therapist, male or female, will know how to deflect sexual advances by a client. If a subtle response does not do the job then a forceful statement or ending the session will be the correct response. Any client who feels that they are being touched inappropriately should feel confident in their right to speak up. If it is incidental contact or just an accident the therapist will apologize and continue with the client’s discomfort noted accordingly.

Extracurricular Activity

As stated earlier, touch is intimate. Permission for such intimacy is accorded based on the massage therapist’s professionalism and the trust of the client. At the same time, a relationship is established…a professional relationship but a relationship nonetheless. Understanding and honoring the boundaries of that relationship will allow both parties to fill their roles appropriately.

It is generally accepted that there ought not to be any personal relationship between the therapist and a paying client. Allowing the relationship to expand beyond the massage table to a social or even romantic connection is to invite a host of ethical dilemmas. A therapist could be perceived as taking advantage of a client who might be in a vulnerable state due to stress or physical ailment. In the state of Washington it is illegal to date a client within two years of the last session. That is strict stuff and is as likely to protect a therapist from misunderstandings as it is to protect a client.

Borders and Boundaries

Providing the healing power of touch is an honorable and ancient profession. The benefits of massage therapy are numerous and continue to gain acceptance as a mainstream health practice. No one should ever have to feel uncomfortable about getting a massage and they won’t if they are in the hands of a well-trained and ethically centered massage professional.

J. Terrence McDermott is the administrator of Massage Schools Guide athttp://www.massageschoolsguide.com, a website offering resources for prospective massage therapists. He specializes in online continuing education resources. 

By Heather Eaton

Easy way to be more romantic number one: Write love notes. If you do a romantic cost-benefit analysis, love notes probably have the best return on investment of anything romantic you can do. Think about it all it takes is a few seconds and you can turn a pen and a yellow sticky note pad into romance. Write things like “you’re beautiful”, “I love you”, “missing you”, “I have a crush on you” or anything else you can think of on little notes and hide them in places your wife will find them when she least expects it. Place notes in places like her purse, her car, her makeup compact. As she finds these notes she will be reminded of you and will feel the romance. You may think it’s cheesy but these little notes work.

Easy way to be romantic number two: Send flowers just because. Every now and then throw her a curveball by sending flowers just because. They don’t have to be the biggest bouquet in the world, 15 or $20 will do, just hit her when she least expects it every now and then. If you do this two or three times a year, your wife will brag about how great you are and how wonderful her husband is.

Easy way to be romantic number three: Ask her out on a date. This is something so simple yet it is usually the first thing to fade away in any long-term relationship. If you’ve been together one-month or 100 years, you should still ask her out on a date every now and then. Make plans as if it was your first date, tell her when to be ready and possibly go wash the car or do something away from the home before the date so that you can “officially”pick her up at the scheduled time of your date. Again this may sound corny or cheesy but it will bring back those feelings she had when the relationship was new. So rather than just take your wife out to dinner next Friday, ask her if she would like to go on a date.

Easy way to be romantic number four: Take her to get her hair or nails done. This shows her that you are devoting some time just for her it may seem miserable to sit there for 45 minutes while she gets a manicure but it will show her you really care. If she asks why you’re doing this, tell her it’s because you love her.

Easy way to be romantic number five: Send flirty text messages. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you can’t flirt. So when you think of it send her a quick text message telling her how beautiful she is or how much you care about her.

You don’t have to buy diamonds, you don’t have to go on expensive vacations, sometimes all you need is a few notes, some free time and a little thoughtfulness and you too will be known as the world’s most romantic husband.

Check out Heather’s other web creations, http://www.fuzzylogicricecooker.org/elite-pro-fuzzy-logic-rice-cooker/ and her newest websitehttp://www.fuzzylogicricecooker.org/panasonic-fuzzy-logic-rice-cooker 

By Allura Joy

“Look ma, no hands!” Yes, it is possible to think your way to orgasm with simple meditation.

It is possible to bring yourself to a powerful orgasm while sitting absolutely still with no movement, physical stimulation, or friction whatsoever. Many women have testified to having the ability to produce a full-on “mindgasm” during meditation, or rather a self-hypnosis type of technique. It is a matter of having focused intention, good muscle control and rhythmic deep breathing.

The best way to understand how a woman can ‘think herself to orgasm’, is how stage hypnotists can give women instant orgasms with the power of suggestion. Mark Cunningham, a well-known hypnotist says, “The key is, there is a part inside a woman’s mind that is capable of infinite positive pleasurable response. It is always active, so you aren’t actually going into her mind and making her have an orgasm. You are unlocking, unleashing and directing that which already exists. But you have to know how to access the subconscious mind.” Hypnosis is the fastest way to access the subconscious mind.

This stress-reducing self-hypnosis method will reveal how the concept of a “mindgasm” is possible. The overall breathing meditation is beneficial to practice several times a day, whenever you have a few minutes to spare. It is  a terrific way to relieve anxiety and mental tension, as it can be done while sitting at your work desk, waiting at a traffic light, in the restroom, or anywhere at all that you can dedicate some time to just be still and relax with this deep breathing technique.

Following is a guided meditation to help you relax, reduce stress and release mental barriers and learn to achieve a “mindgasm”. You need to let go of all thoughts and just allow yourself to be fully present with the physical sensations without distractions. With a little practice, you can bring yourself to a powerful pleasure-filled orgasm right there in your office chair without anyone around you even knowing!  CLICK HERE to read more.

Allura Joy is a Health Coach, Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, Relationship Coach, Sex Coach, Sex Educator, Sex Therapist, Speaker/Presenter, Wellness Coach, YourTango Expert Partner.  You can find more of her work at www.oceanusnaturals.com/blog/