http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png 0 0 http://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/logo.png 2012-02-28 08:32:282019-01-18 14:54:01Divorce Sucks!
By Lana Moline
I just heard from a friend that she is getting a divorce and I am devastated. In that conversation, she ended up consoling me because I am literally stuck in all the wonderful memories my family shared with hers. She sounded at peace and all things considered, they really have made a decision that they both are comfortable with. I respect that but I’m pouting over here. Divorce affects everyone, not just the couple or the kids.
I know my attitude probably put a tremendous amount of uncomfortable pressure on her and I should ease up but I am having serious issues in understanding how to operate within their divorce. I know it’s not their responsibility to babysit me on top of all the things they are considering but this is a real issue for me. Things will forever be different for all of us. I know they are busy sorting all of this out. I just wonder what will remain of our relationship. Will I have to choose which one to invite over to my house during the holiday season or anytime for that matter? Man! Divorce is like the ugliness of cancer spreading through the body.
I know this probably sounds bratty but in truth, I did offer my friend my love and support in her decision. I am just mourning the end of the relationship of two people whose relationship I loved as well. Their union, together, brought so much positivity to the world but somehow they did not have enough of whatever was lacking in order to stay together. That particular story isn’t mine to tell but all I will say is that I’m like a little kid wishing for a reconciliation.
We live in a world where access to counseling, both conventional and unconventional, is at our fingertips. It is extremely wise to talk about everything even if it hurts. I’ve said this before but couples are the backbone of the families and keeping our families afloat means we have to roll up our sleeves relentlessly. I kinda feel like breaking out into “Don’t Nobody Bring Me No Bad News” because I don’t know how many more family fatalities I can take.
Of course, I am not advocating staying in an abusive relationship of any kind and there are certainly deal breakers with each relationship. Please understand this is simply my commentary on the fact that divorce sucks for the extended family. I don’t know the magic cure to prevent it and work extremely hard each year within my own marriage. I believe that love is sustaining and can see us through anything. We should love when things are good and love even harder when things are bad. I truly wish, we could all just stay together, in love.
Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.