By Oksana Boichenko
It is important to take the time to get to know each other, especially if you are oceans apart, but there can be too much of a good thing. Talking on the phone or communicating every day when you are in a long distance relationship can actually do more harm than good. Too often keeping in touch daily (especially over phone) can create undue expectations and tension if you find that the conversation does not flow as easily some days. Of course, one can argue that being in a regular relationship people talk every day, but that is a bit different – it is much easier to have that kind of bond when you are a part of each other’s daily activities. Long distance relationships – regardless of the amount and type of communication – do not give you a full picture of what your partner’s daily routine is. So, when you face a situation when your partner is not as outspoken, it can make you wonder what is wrong, and since you have no way to communicate in person, your mind can run wild with the guesses. That is why it is better to give each other a few days to breathe between communication – then you will have plenty of events to discuss and will be able to avoid vacuum in the conversations.
In order to keep your relationship vibrant and dynamic, do your best to plan regular trips to see each other in person. It doesn’t matter what it is – whether you visit each other, or meet somewhere on a neutral territory. The main thing is that you have one-on-one time and get to see what both of you are like in regular, daily routine situations. Planning such visits will give both of you something to look forward to, and actual meetings will be one more link to making your bond stronger and more intimate. Meeting at your home or hers will give you both a great taste of what each of you is really like. Seeing small details of the place where your partner lives, being able to envision what his/her daily life is, meeting people he/she knows are a great opportunity to make your communication at distance more fulfilling. Meeting at a resort or simply a place where neither of you lives will in turn be a great adventure, which can spark your romantic connection and really fuel up your feelings.
Modern technology makes contacting someone overseas quick and convenient, but sometimes it is worth taking advantage of the old-fashioned communication means. Sending a handwritten letter, or even a note, will add a special touch to your communication. Aside from showing your Russian bride that you take time to do something special for her, it will also give her a physical something that connects the two of you. We guarantee that your sweetheart will touch, smell, and re-read your message numerous times to feel closer to the man she cares for.
The means to communication may be many, but the essence of what is being said should not. Since most of the time you will not be able to see each other as you speak, here are a few simple tips to keep in mind to make your communication successful and expressive.
When you are telling your sweetheart about an event, a place, or a person, try to be as descriptive as possible, so she could have a good chance of imagining what it is you saw. She might not be able to read your thoughts completely, but at least she will be able to create a picture of what your day was like. The same rule goes for your feelings – in the absence of body language, seeing each other’s face, eyes, etc. put an extra effort to really explaining and sharing what you feel: if your sweetheart made you laugh, make a point of telling her that she put a smile on your face; when she says something sweet, tell her what emotions her words brought about in you. Sharing such moments will make your bond stronger and will be useful when you are in person as well.
In addition, make sure that you exchange and share photographs frequently. Seeing your face, pictures of you with your friends/family, places where you live and visit will help your Russian woman feel more like a part of your life. It will help her know what you talk about when you describe your life and daily activities, and find out who you are.
Honesty is something to keep in mind as well. Although it is a given in any type of a relationship, being apart can be an easy way to give into temptation and make yourself sound better than you really are or someone you are not. When you finally meet in person and some of the incoherencies or plain lies may come to light, it will be hard to regain that person’s trust and you risk losing a chance at a great relationship. Be honest from the beginning – it will give you an opportunity to remain true to yourself and find a partner, who appreciates and loves you for who you really are.
Building a long-distance relationship takes work, but it is possible to make it an enjoyable experience to strengthen the bond between your partner. Taking advantage of the few simple suggestions from this article will help you avoid common mistakes and problems. When you are miles apart, every word, phone call, or letter make a difference; try to always end them on a good note and your communication will grow and become a precious gift for both of you.
Oksana Boichenko is a matchmaker with 12 years of experience in the online dating business. She specializes in online dating for Russian women.