I May Not Be There For You If You Choose To Keep The Baby

VIDEO: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for the past two years. Prior to the relationship we were good friends. We’re in our early twenties and we’re pretty much in a long distance relationship due to the fact that he’s in the military. When he isn’t deployed or underway we see each other 4-10 times a month. We have a pretty good relationship in which we are honest with each other and committed. However a month ago (before he left for an underway) we had a pregnancy scare. Neither of us are ready for a child but I believe that at our age we cannot play the victim for an accident and abuse the rights to abortion.  As adults we must own up to our responsibilities and keep and raise the child. My boyfriend initially voiced otherwise insisting upon other options (adoption, abortion). He then continued on about how he’s not ready for a child and does not believe he would make a suitable father. He continued even further to say that if I keep the child he does not want any part in the child’s life. Upon seeing my upset reaction he said that he still loves me , that he was simply voicing his current emotions and that upon confirmation of a pregnancy he does not know if he would react and proceed in the same manner. Unfortunately, right after he voiced his opinion it was time for him to leave and we were not able to hatch out everything. With that said that night has been replaying in my head almost everyday since he’s been gone and festering with what I should do and how I should approach the conversation when he gets back. I still love him but that doesn’t change the fact that he hurt me and left me questioning his commitment to the relationship. Based on his initial reaction is it time to call quits because he failed to meet my unspoken expectations of supporting  me and taking responsibility for not just mine but our actions? Or should I respect the fact that he was honest with me about his emotions (a little too honest) which he did not act on by ending our relationship and attempt to work it out upon his arrival?
BLAM Fam..What are your thoughts about this viewer’s situation.
7 replies
  1. lapsassa1
    lapsassa1 says:

    Very much like "Daddy Ma'at's" wise smile at 2:12 any "Mommy Ma'at's" encouraging laugh at 4:16 . I feel for that woman that sent this question because? she had the idea that he was right for her – up to that moment. I wish her strength and courage to let him go and let go of her idea that they would have a life together.

  2. plunsabug37
    plunsabug37 says:

    get out of the relationship now, god is trying to tell? you something

  3. Jakki
    Jakki says:

    Whoa…I'm wondering is this the first time you two discussed having children, and was this a complete shock to you that he felt this way? I am definitely a fan of honesty, but in this case if your boyfriend doesn't want any children right now then that would be a very important topic before hand, which also means he should never have unprotected sex. It amazes me how so many men still believe that it is solely the woman's responsibility when it comes to reproducing. I think it might be that same theory that some men have that tells them parenting is optional, and a woman's responsibility. I think it is a must conversation for you two to have, it sounds like he might have panicked and went way over the top; which may speak volumes about who he is. I believe you should give him a chance to fully explain himself, and make your decision from there. Blessings to you both~

  4. Mopada
    Mopada says:

    I think the brother is somewhat fearful with the anticipation of Fatherhood. If we as Black Men, understood that true success in life start with establishing the family then more of us would be less fearful about moving our lives into that direction. Sometimes we simply have to MAN UP and live up too what GOD has called us to be. Having a child will be one of the biggest joys of his life. We have to think outside of ourselves.

  5. AGoodWomanDiji
    AGoodWomanDiji says:

    Very well said. Love? you guys:)

  6. cjlm125
    cjlm125 says:

    This reminds me of what Oprah says that when someone shows you who they? are – BELIEVE THEM!

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