By Team BLAM
Hey guys. I recently found your videos on youtube and I must say that I love watching. It is very informing and inspiring to watch the two of you.
Now I am having some issues and need your advice please. So I am 20 years old and single (by choice of course) I go to school, I work, and I am on a journey to starting my own business. However, when I get hot and horny I always call my ex-boyfriend/current sex partner. We broke up about 2 years ago but we still have sex on occasions and aside from that we are actually really good friends who talk with each other quite often. I first met him when I was 15 (we are same age) and we dated throughout high school years and we even talked about getting married when I turned 18. That never happened and we ended up breaking up but still find each other always hanging out and occasionally having sex. When we do engage in the act I always feel guilty after because I know he is not committed to me anymore and me constantly giving my body to him has even brought me to tears knowing that I want more from him but he is not willing. I have even talked about marriage with him recently and he has told me that he is up for the idea but he wants to make sure he has money and his own place and able to take care of me before he can do that but in my head I am thinking that it is okay that we are at a low right now and I feel that if we were in a relationship we could build on something together, grow together, and learn from each other through the bad times but that is not his intention. Am I wrong for thinking this way? Also, I sometimes feel that I need to explore my options and date other people (which I have) but when it comes down to it, all the men I know just want sex from me. I made a personal choice to only have sex with my ex because there are just way too many STDs out here and the fact that I trust him and get tested with him eases my mind when having sex. I truly do want to date and see what is out there but I am always approached for the wrong reasons and when I make it known that I am not about sex I never hear from them again or they keep asking until they give up. I have tried celibacy and of course that didn’t last long so what is there to do? I don’t want to keep giving myself to this man who is not committing to me but I don’t want to have sex with anyone else. Please help.