Love Jones-ing

By Neysa Ellery Taylor

Do you remember the movie “Love Jones?”  What is that a smile?  Yep,  everyone remembers “Love Jones.”  (If not, stop right now and order Netflix or Amazon or something and watch the movie NOW.)  This often quoted, much beloved movie has tons of great lines.  But tonight I am dealing with one.  You remember this one, right?  Say it with me:

“Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it’s about the time between when you first meet some fine woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do. When people that have been together for a long time say the romance is gone, what they’re really saying is that they’ve exhausted the possibility.” — Darius Lovehall

Ooooooh!  Ladies, remember this line?  Fellas, weren’t you in the theater nodding when you first heard this?  Yes!  And guess what?  It is so true.  The lack of surprise.  The lack of anticipation.  The humdrum of settling into a routine can really sap the romance.

Now, let me state clearly: There has to be a balance between spontaneity and stability.  You can’t be so passionate that the light bill isn’t getting paid.  But you can’t be so solely focused on stability that the passion fades and you turn into business partners or roommates.  So there has to be a balance.  But quite often the pendulum swings to the land of the boring.  And don’t add kids to the mix!  Whoo! By the time you climb the corporate ladder, hit a gymnastics class, do homework, and try to feed the family it is hard to make passion a priority.

But guess what?  You have to make the passion a priority! You have to invest in each other.  You have to step away from the humdrum and really do something OUTSIDE OF THE BOX together.  Don’t just do what he likes or what she likes.  Do something that neither one of you has done before.  Try something totally outside of your comfort zone.

The hubs and I went salsa dancing just the other day.  While we may never be on “Dancing with the Stars,”  we had a great time!  And it fanned the passion flame.  I am excited about what we are going to try next.. But I do know this much.. I am determined to never exhaust the possibility of romance.