When Was The Last Time You Wrote A Sensuous Love Letter To Your Spouse?
By Lynella Grant
Love Letters are a Sensuous Mode of Communication.
A love letter to a sweetheart speaks more directly to the heart than any other form of writing. Words chosen for their emotional overtones feel like poetry. They spin a web of attraction that arouses and entices the senses.
“Sensuous” is often used as a synonym for sexy. But it’s more accurate definition is “to delight the senses” – all of them. Romance is sensuous because all the senses participate in the experience. A declaration of love that speaks directly to them ignites passion – because that’s how the emotions and senses express approval. Words Take a Back Seat to Feelings for Love Letter Receivers
In face-to-face communication we all “read” each other – the speaker’s gestures, facial expression, confidence, enthusiasm, etc. Any sour note or inconsistency undercuts the credibility of what’s being said. Each of our senses report confirming impressions; or whether something “smells fishy.” When words “ring true,” we’re inclined to trust. Our guard goes down a few notches.
Body language communicates faster and more accurately than words can. WHAT is being said is less important than HOW it’s being said. That’s not fresh news. But most people fail to realize that written words carry hitchhiking messages as well. And a love letter even more so.
Use words that “speak” for the senses: “the smell of your hair”…, “the feeling of the breeze that stirred up the…”. That adds potency and imagery to your declaration.
A Love Letter Says “I Love You” in Multiple Ways
The point of almost all communication (spoken or in writing) is to be logical – to persuade the rational mind. A love letter does quite the opposite – sending its message to the heart.
A love letter is sent only to a particular person, with a desire to strengthen the bond between the sender and receiver. Taking the time and effort to write a heartfelt love letter makes the receiver feel primary – ahead of everything else. It’s very un-naturalness delivers a potent declaration in its own right.
Although sending one is effective during courtship, a love letter is equally desirable for those in long-tem relationships. You really can’t say “I love you” too often, or in too many ways. The trick is in finding creative and fresh ways to say it anew.
Presentation Bolsters the Loving Message
The “message” the receiver gets includes all those impressions that accompany the letter itself. We like to think that we communicate with what we say – the words. But in truth, people trust the other senses more. So deliver the letter in a way that demonstrates such nuances.
Think beyond the letter’s words. Involve the senses in the experience of receiving and reading it. Add sensuousness to your message by creating at total experience – all reinforcing the importance of your relationship.
– Vision – Looks good, on high-quality or colored paper. Use a pen and write it with your best penmanship. Edit and recopy if necessary. Emails and word-processed emails flunk the vision test.
– Hearing – The crinkle of the paper is a plus. Suggest they have a particular song playing when they read it, for example.
– Smell – A squirt of your perfume or after-shave in a time honored addition – the receiver senses your presence.
– Touch – Paper choice is important since 30% of the message is received by the fingers, before a word is read. Textured and heavy-weight paper says you’re substantial and credible. Why not put something touchy-feely in the envelope too?
– Combination of them – The whole should be more than the sum of specific sense impressions – their overall effect should say “You’re special!”
Never doubt that a love letter pays off in a relationship in many ways. Keeping that practice alive is a vote for romance.
This is so true. Great way to spice up the relationship.
I haven't done this in a while. And I am thinking about doing this too.
Also, great idea with the smell(squirt of perfume or after shaving).
My recent post Inspiration Point
Ok, so now I am blushing. I guess I am imagining his reaction to a letter. I don't worry that he won't like it. I'm a little nervous about writing it. 11 years……I'm sure it would be a welcomed surprise. Alright now!!!!
My recent post Reach Out and Touch
My husband is on travel for work right now and will be back on Tuesday next week so I'm going to sit down this weekend and get a glass of wine and write him a love letter. I never really thought about how important the presentation is…..very good tips. Thanks for the idea!