You CAN Have A Fulfilling Relationship. Four Fantastic Ways To Get Your Needs Met.
By Chris Andrews
Getting your needs met in your relationship isn’t always easy. But if you want to have a long and happy relationship, you will need to learn how. Here are some tips to guide you along with getting your relationship needs met.
- Never assume that your mate can read your mind. A friend of mine always says, “Show me someone who can’t communicate and I’ll show you a failure.” People who can’t communicate effectively generally don’t have much success in life. Tell your mate your likes and dislikes. Just talk to them like you are giving someone directions. They will appreciate your candor and they won’t be mistaken about these needs in the future if you are clear and concise.
- Encourage your mate to talk about their needs. We forget to do this because it does require effort on your part, so don’t be afraid to just ask. This will make them feel special and let them know that you care about what they want. Do this step more often than not.
- Realize the difference between telling and showing. Some people like to be told, “I love you,” and some people like to be shown love. Make sure you get this one down eventually, since you don’t want to annoy your mate with talk when they like to be shown instead. I have a friend who didn’t like his girlfriend telling him that she loved him everyday. He loved everything about her otherwise. Eventually he let her know this and she wasn’t offended at all-she just didn’t know that this annoyed him.
- Don’t be passive aggressive-speak up! This area in relationships is so common, but frequently ignored. If you are serious about getting your relationship needs met, pay close attention to this tip. If you need your mate to help you more with anything (help around the house, help with errands, etc.), JUST ASK. What most people do is assume that their mate already knows what needs to be done, and this just isn’t so. Effective communication will not only help these situations, but will eliminate the silent resentment that happens when we hold back our feelings.
Chris R. Andrews writes about many social topics concerning real folks in real situations. His latest adventure is Relationshipanswers.net
this advice sends folk in the right direction.
My recent post THE LIFESTYLE OF THE URBAN LIFE
This is wonderful advice, but what if you have done all this and still your spouse or mate still refuses to see the importance of meeting your needs? I've been married 14 yrs. and both my husband & I have practiced communicating our feelings from day 1. Although I've communicated what I've needed he hasn't tried to do any of them. During our 14 yrs. of marriage we have seek help through counseling from 3 different sources. Our first was within our 2 yrs we decided to receive a Spiritual counseling from the minister that was a pre-marital counsel of 3mths & who married us. Second counseling 8 yrs later for our 10th yr. Anniversary was through his job that offered counseling for 5 wks. and Third was last yr and only because I had asked him for a divorce, but again still no change.
I'm only asking because when I was looking for advice during my trials & tribulations I could never find or received any answers to my question(s) and I'm sure someone else is going through this same problem. "What do you do if you have communicated your needs, feelings, desires, and even changed yourself, but your spouse or mate has refused to see the importance of meeting your needs?
Great advice. I need to work on encouraging hubby to tell me what he needs. I need him to be more interactive.
My recent post Laid Off No More?
Thank you so much for this.
I know my husband can't read my mind but yall read mine today. I just wrote about this very thing in my journal!!!! Thanks for the wisdom!
Wonderful advise