BEWARE Of These 6 Dangerous Thoughts That Are Hurting Your Relationship
by Tiffany Anton
I made a comment recently saying, “No other person is a threat to us unless it’s violence.” Whether it’s your husband’s secretary, the cute guy working behind the reception counter at the gym, a the hot lady dancing near your husband on the dance floor and giving him the eye of interest, or a co-worker and so on, it seems that many women and men have moderate to high levels of jealousy regarding their spouses/partners.
Here are six examples of thinking patterns that support jealous thoughts and feelings:
- High-risk Thinking: If my partner finds another attractive, then my relationship is at risk, as they may steal them from me. All others are a risk to my relationship security.
- Fantasy Thinking: My partner will never find anyone more attractive than me, I will be his/her end all be all. He/she will never have interest in being with another sexually because they are completely fulfilled, aroused and satisfied by me; therefore, when he/she thinks differently than my fantasy, I am hurt, rejected and threatened.
- Fear/Self-Loathing Thinking: Oh, s/he is better looking than I, I am ugly/fat, of course my partner will want another, I know s/he’ll leave me for him/her. I hate her/him!
- All Men Thinking: All men lie and cheat, I should expect it. He looked over at her, I know he’ll cheat on me. A man would suck on a cows titty if the cow would let him.
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There is "a lot" going on these days. The teens are more open about it, but even those well into their 40s & 50s are still very sexually active & actively seek occasions to be sexy & attractive for attention from others.
Having said that, there is a lot more sexually active adults that are not really concerned about having casual sex with people they know who are married or in (committed) relationships. So today, there is probably a greater chance that there is probably more opportunities to cheat & be cheated on & not be caught. The advent of sex-related hook-up sites & services make all this activity easily accessible to everybody willing to put themselves out-there just a little bit.
So, having some thoughts of the possibility that your partner/spouse may become interested in some one else is a reality. And only the confidence within a relationship can be strengthened by the actions of those within it.