VIDEO: Domestic violence is serious. Unfortunately people who are being abused often either minimize the reality of abuse or ignore it all together. In this video we discuss some of the characteristics of an abuser as well as the patterns of abuse. If you see yourself in this situation…GET HELP. If you know someone or have an inkling that someone is dealing with this issue please forward them this video. Nobody is being helped if we all stay silent.
This video was prompted by a letter we received from a young lady who appears to be in an abusive situation where domestic violence is ruling her life. Our prayer is that she receives what we have to say. For all those who watch this and realize these words apply to you too—nothing happens on accident. Our belief is that you are watching this right now for a reason. Get out! Get out! Get out!
To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.
SIGNS THAT YOU’RE IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings
-feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
-avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
-feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
-believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
-wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
-feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Does Your Partner:
-humiliate or yell at you?
-criticize you and put you down?
-treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
-ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
-blame you for his own abusive behavior?
-see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats
Does your partner:
-have a bad and unpredictable temper?
-hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
-threaten to take your children away or harm them?
-threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
-force you to have sex?
-destroy your belongings?
Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:
-act excessively jealous and possessive?
-control where you go or what you do?
-keep you from seeing your friends or family?
-limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
-constantly check up on you?
If you find yourself in a situation where Domestic Violence is occurring—get help. Reach out. You can start by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Aiyana Ma’at, MSW, LCSW-C is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. However, the professional advice given here does not substitute for professional advice given by a licensed clinician in your state.