Can Your Marriage Survive Caring For Your Ailing Parent(s)?

By Terrence Ferguson

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, here we go. I want you and your significant other to take an honest look at the older family members that you are close to. Has any one in your immediate or extended families thought about what is going to happen to your Moms, Dads, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunt’s and Uncles? No, it may not be your responsibility, but the truth is, when an aging loved one needs care there is not a lot of time to plan and think about what your family is going to do next.

Have you or anyone else in your family talked to the seniors in your lives and asked them what they would like to see happen? Have you talked to your spouse to find out if living with you is an option? I’m telling you guys, plan for this stuff early. If you’re a single child and you think your parents may need help sooner than later, talk to your significant other and your parent(s) if they’re willing to talk. Get a plan in place, because you don’t want to have to make a quick decision when it comes to the care of your parent. People who have to make rash decisions when it comes to care, sometimes regret the decisions that they quickly made at some point in the future. If you think your parent may have to go to a facility, start looking at facilities now. If they have to come live with you, talk with your partner about how that will effect your relationship, and trust me, it will effect your relationship.

I know it may not sound right, but sometimes resentment creeps into the relationship, because you’re caring for one person’s parent, but not the other person. Sometimes there is an extra financial burden that was not anticipated. You may feel that it isn’t fair that you have to take care of a family member as well. You’re just starting to live your life, right? If your parents are eligible and can afford to pay for Long Term Care Insurance, look into it for them. They can choose the care they receive and it could save them hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars over their life time.

This is just a little food for thought. Our parents took care of us, so it’s only right that we help take care of them as they start to need assistance. So now what are you going to do? Are you going to wait to see how things progress over the years, or are you going to come up with a plan to save both you and your significant other / spouse some heartache in the future. I suggest the latter option.

Terrence Ferguson has had the privilege of helping to care for both of his parents and Terrence has also talked to many individuals about their own senior care issues. Terrence has learned a great deal in the last 20 years about senior care issues and he would love to help you find solutions to some of your problems as well. He is always open to helping people. There is no request to great or too small. Contact Terrence today at

Terrence  is also a young man who has a strong thirst for knowledge. As a result of Terrence’s research and hard work he received full scholarships to both Norfolk State University (Undergraduate School) and The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (Graduate School). Overall, Terrence received over $100,000 in scholarship and internship money. There is still plenty of money available for college, for students who have applied themselves. Terrence would love to help you get into a college that is right for you and possibly find FREE money as well. He can also be contacted at

3 replies
  1. KC_BinLove
    KC_BinLove says:

    This a very important and serious topic of discussion between my mother and I. She is totally unaware at the moment and when the time is right my fiance and I will have to decide the best way to be well prepared for the future just in case we have to make provisions for long term care or open our home as an option for our parents.

  2. Myles
    Myles says:

    I asked my mom some time ago what she expects from me as she gets older. Her response was…I don't expect anything from you…why do you think I'm still working. It was good to have that conversation, but it was kinda uncomfortable too.

  3. Dawnya
    Dawnya says:

    This piece was very thought provoking. Thanks for putting this issue on the table. This is definitely a conversation that I need to have with my husband.

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