VIDEO: Everyone Doesn’t Support Black History Month? Hmmm…

By Team BLAM

Say what? All African Americans don’t support Black History Month? Yup, and guess what? Filmmaker Shukree Hassan Tilghman made a film about it. Black History Month originated in 1925 when the second week of February was made Negro History Week since it contained the birthdays of abolitionist Frederick Douglass and President Abraham Lincoln. Hari Sreenivasan from PBS reports on how some African-Americans now oppose the idea of dedicating a special month to black history.

To watch a trailer for Shukree Hassan Tilghman’s film More Than A Month, go to:

Click here for more info.

What do you think BLAM Fam? Let’s hear your thoughts!

VIDEO: Whitney Houston’s Last Public Appearance & Performance.

By Team BLAM

Here is a video of the late Whitney Houston singing a rendition of “Yes, Jesus Loves Me” the night before she past away at Kelly Price & Friends Unplugged pre-Grammy concert on February 9th, 2012.


Whitney and her daughter Bobbi Kristina were at an event in support of Kelly Price.


Bobbi Kristina was said to be inconsolable at the news of her mothers death. We have to keep her and the entire family in our prayers and meditations.

Jennifer Hudson Performs ‘I Will Always Love You’ In Honor Of Whitney Houston At 2012 Grammy Awards

By Team BLAM

R&B singer Jennifer Hudson honored her idol, Whitney Houston, at Sunday’s 2012 Grammy Awards.

Hudson performed Whitney’s mega hit, “I Will Always Love You.”

Prior to the news of Houston’s death, Hudson attended Clive Davis’ pre-Grammy event on Saturday where she discussed the impact Houston had on her music career.

Check out her touching performance.

VIDEO: New Texas Law To Require Women To See Ultrasound Before Abortion? Debate Gets Heated On “The View”.

By Team BLAM

On a recent episode of “The View,” there was a heated discussion that got quite emotional during a discussion on the topic of abortion, and a new Texas law that requires abortion providers to show or describe an ultrasound to women before the procedure can be performed.

Very interesting discussion. Listen in and let us know what you think.

Greatest Proposal Ever. This Dude Did It & Did It Well!

By Team BLAM

Talk about creativity and a well though out proposal. Check out this latest marriage proposal video from a guy named Prentice Ashford titled, “Chris Brown Music Video Proposal (Greatest Ever!!).” Ashford created the video for his girlfriend Trisha Newton and it is sooo sweet.

We should all be this thoughtful every single day in our relationships. You know what we always say: You get out what you put in and this brother seems to have put a whole lot of effort into this beautiful proposal. Much respect to Prentice for doing it well!

Regulations & Rules Of Engagement For Side Pieces

By Christopher Nolen

We, the people of common sense who–as grown folks–advise against becoming or seeking out a side piece (also referred to as dip), do hereby issue forth the following rules should you totally lose sanity and decide to be one anyway. Some articles will be in King James English, some in second person…perhaps if you read it in a variety of ways, you will get the message and avoid the issue all together:

Article 1: Do not ask me to meet my friends or family members. For what? You are a dip and you unfortunately do not get that privilege.

Article 2: Do not think that you will move up to be number #1 get that out of your head right now.

Article 3: Thou shalt not ask me to leave my spouse.

Article 4: Do not ask me to spend the night at your place.

Article 5: Do not ask me for my home phone number.

Article 6: Thou shalt not demand respect…you’re a side piece…hello?

Article 7: Thou shalt not get pregnant…thou shalt not demand money for abortion if thou layest down and becomest pregnant…hithertofore should thou becomest impregnated, thou shalt indeed understandeth that thou shalt be a


Article 8: Thou shalt not get angry if your pimp/pimptress shalt desirest to spend time and money with his/hereth spouse and family.

Article 9: Do not ask me to come to your parents house to meet your parents, for what? You are just a damn dip, in another month I will be done with you.

Article 10: Thou for surest shalt not falleth in loveth with thou pimp/pimptress.

Article 11: Do not call me after 7pm unless I make contact with you.

Article 12: Do not fall in love with me because once you do it is over.

**BREAK** We must mention that falling in love is the cardinal sin of being a side piece, which is why it is translated in both modern English and King James English. **BREAK**

Article 13: Thou shalt understand that theseth art jokeths.

**BREAK** We don’t want to be receiving all kinds of hate mail for making a joke out of this issue. Keep that gawbage to yourself. Thank you. **BREAK**

Article 14: Just know you are a dip and I don’t even know why I want to see you because you are going to get emotional anyway and trick off on me, I am an idiot so I cannot and will not even do this. Sorry for bothering you and wasting your time. I am going to make it work with my lady.

Article 15: Do not ask me to take you out in public, for what? you are a damn dip. You will only be confined to your bedroom or my other house that I have.

Article 16: Thou shalt not expect thou pimp/pimptress to treateth you any differently than he/she treatedeth his/her spouse should he/she leave said spouse and decideth–like a dummyeth–to marryeth thou. C’mon, son-eth!

Article 17: Do not tell me about your problems that you had that day, do you think I want to hear about that? I have problems of my own at home and that is why I am seeing you on the side because I have a house full of kids and woman who is getting on my nerves. Now you want to get on my nerves too, ah damn.

Article 18: Thou shalt learn the hard wayeth that beingeth the side pieceth is not as glamorous as television makes it seemeth.

Article 19: I dont want to meet your children.

Article 20: There will be an NDA (National Dip Association) lockout if you attempt to renegotiate this current contract. Your season will be lost if you choose to do so. The NDA realizes the smart dips will renegotiate, and thus leave the game. The dumb ones will stay, and that is where the bread and butter is.

Article 21: If you are riding with me you must duck your head on command.

Article 22: You must not wear underwear to my crib. That way your dumb self won’t forget s*it.

Article 23: You pay for the hotel/motel my money is for my family.

Article 24: And this is the #1 cardinal rule for becoming a side piece:


This contract and these articles cannot be re-negotiated. Should you decide to ignore warnings against this lifestyle, this is the way of life you will tread.

Christopher Nolen is a film director and producer based in Chicago. Healing and/or hilarity ensue on his online forum called Christopher Nolen’s KIR (Keepin’ it Real), where he solicits anonymous postings for discussion.  His sophomore directorial effort–Christopher’s “The Good Life” is currently in post production for a release in 2012. Four KIR contributors, (H. Roberta Williams, Tremayne Price, Kyle Hopkins and Latike Booker) posted commentary in the above articles of tomfoolery. Visit KIR at

Tyler Perry Writes Open Letter To 11-Year Old Penn State Sex Abuse Victim

“I don’t know your name, but I know your face. I don’t know your journey, but I know who you are. I am you brother!” said Tyler Perry.

In the letter, featured in this week’s Newsweek magazine, Perry calls the young man courageous and reveals how he prevailed through being abused as a child.

I must tell you, what you have done is so courageous. The strength that it must have taken for your 11-year-old voice to speak out about such a horrible act is something that I didn’t have the strength or courage to do at that age.

I was a very poor young black boy in New Orleans, just a face without a name, swimming in a sea of poverty trying to survive. Forget about living, I was just trying to exist. I was enduring a lot of the same things that you’ve come forward and said happened to you, and it was awful. I felt so powerless. I knew what was happening to me, but unlike you, I couldn’t speak about it because no one saw me. I was invisible and my voice was inaudible.

So to think that you, when you were only 11 years old, spoke up–you are my hero! I’m so proud of you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I want you to know you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not your fault. Please know that you were chosen by a monster. You didn’t choose him. You didn’t ask for it and, most of all, you didn’t deserve it. What a huge lesson that was for me to learn. Your 11-year-old self was no match for wicked, evil tactics of this kind. You were hunted like prey. A pedophile looks for the young boys he thinks he can manipulate. The ones who have daddy or mommy issues, the ones who are broken, and the ones who are in need. But this wasn’t you.

You may have to go through with that trial, and you may feel all alone when you’re on that witness stand, but just know that there are millions of young boys and grown men who are standing with you–including me. If every man who has ever been molested would speak up, you would see that we’re all around you. You may not know all of our faces and names, but my prayer is that you feel our strength holding you up. You will get through this; you’ve already endured the worst part at age 11. Now fight on, my young friend, fight on! We are all with you.

BLAM Fam: Child sexual abuse is so real. Each of us must speak up and speak out. Our children are depending on us.

VIDEO: Herman Cain’s Wife Speaks Up On Sexual Harassment Allegations

By Team BLAM

The wife of 43 years, mother of his two grown children, finally sat down for her first television interview with Fox News to say that she absolutely, positively can’t believe all these crazy allegations against him.

However, what many are now questioning is Gloria Cain’s words saying that her comments are just as about as believable as Herman Cain’s, especially in light of two separate settlements on complaints she mush have known about.

On the other hand there are those that say Gloria should certainly know her husband of 43 years better than the often salacious media and “quick to condemn” public. Listen in and decide for yourself.

BLAM Fam: What do you think….or do you even care?

J. Cole’s ‘Lost Ones’ Video About Abortion Being Praised For Its Truthfulness

By Nicole Menzie/Christian Post Reporter

The Internet was abuzz Wednesday morning after rapper J. Cole announced the world premiere of the new video for his hit song “Lost Ones,” which tells the story of a young, unmarried couple dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

The video, which debuted around midnight, was filmed in 2008 on the budget of $1, according to Cole. So far, “Lost Ones” has proven a hit with fans online, who praise the rapper for a no-frills, real-life approach to an issue many young people find themselves dealing with in life.

“Lost Ones” is said to be one of Cole’s favorites songs from his debut album, Cole World: The Sideline Story, which was released in September. Cole, 24, is from North Carolina and was reportedly the first artist signed to Jay-Z’s Roc Nation Label.

(Click below to be taken to the official video.)

In the song, which features language some might find offensive, a young man, played by J. Cole, shares his feelings with a young woman about being unequipped to care for a baby, and that perhaps she should consider an abortion.

The second verse features the young woman’s response, in which she criticizes the young man for sweet-talking her into sex, vows to keep the child and take care of it, with or without the young man’s help. The young woman also reveals that the guy is the victim of an absent father himself and had promised that he would never abandon his own children.

The final verse features Cole rapping about the common perspectives guys who hear that they are suddenly going to be a father might have. On one hand, Cole raps, some women are known for using pregnancies to “trap” men, so perhaps a guy should be suspicious. In the end, though, Cole asks men to think about one thing: the “seed” inside the woman’s womb.

Click here for the full story

Negative Emotions: How To Get A Grip Before They Get A Hold Of You

By Aiyana Ma’at

Are you emotional? Are you a pessimist? Are you a downer?  Better yet do you feel negative, upset, or down more often than you’d like to admit? I’d be lying If I didn’t say that I am absolutely 100% an emotional person. It serves me well in some ways and in other ways…not so much. My problem used to be (and still is sometimes) that I would let whatever I was feeling become bigger than life and take up all the space in my head. Whatever I was feeling would be magnified so much in my heart and mind that there was not room for much else.

And when I let my thoughts run wild and get out of control my emotions would soon follow which was then followed by irritability, perpetual frustration, and plain ol’ negativity. What I’ve learned over time is that negative feelings will not just go away on their own. I won’t start to think and feel more rationally just because. No, rather If I want to feel better I have to be intentional about shifting myself into the emotional space that is best for me and my family.

Just the other day I had to do it. I’ve got a lot on my plate and sometimes it feels as If I’m about to drop (or throw) the damn plate.

Some of you may know that my son is in the hospital right now. He started out in the ICU and is now on the regular floor (thank God!) and that was hella stressful. My husband and I have been tag teaming between being at the hospital and taking care of our other children. Let’s just say having family dinners to the sound of hospital machines beeping, obsessively watching my son’s oxygen levels, and telling my 3 other children to use their inside voice 50 million times while my husband and I discuss family business matters, new projects and partnerships on the table, and who needs to follow up with who….is not exactly a recipe for calm. Meanwhile, life doesn’t slow down. Bills still need to be paid. Our clients still have to be contacted/rescheduled. Contracts still have to be signed. Homework still has to be done and my son’s birthday is on this coming Thursday! Lawd! 🙂

So, my point is that I started feeling overwhelmed and I felt those negative emotions creeping in and before I let them take hold I went and sat by the water not far from my house, wrote in my journal for a little while, and read some more of an awesome book I’m reading right now by Wayne Dyer titled Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling, and literally felt myself shifting back into the positive emotional space where purposeful possibility lives. Had I not taken the time to do that—I would be one pretty mean 5 letter word right about now. Negativity just attracts more of the same. And, 9 times out of 10 it all starts within us–in our minds and we then project our mental state out into the world and perceive/get more–you guessed it–negativity coming at us. But, it’s US!!! When we let negative emotions get the best of us it impacts more that just us. Our husbands, wives, children, friends, and co-workers wonder “What is going on??”

And, that is precisely the question. WHAT IS GOING ON? Take a minute to get some more insight around ideas that cause negative emotions and habits that make negative emotions worse excerpted from writer & editor, Ben Rubenstein’s, piece on negative emotions.

Ideas You Need To Change that Cause Negative Emotions

1. Change your perspective.

If you want to experience fewer negative emotions to begin with, change the way you see the world. If you learn how to be optimistic and laid back, you’ll find that negative emotions make fewer appearances to be reckoned with.

2 Eliminate many of the underlying core beliefs which give rise to your disturbing thoughts and negative emotions.

There are many irrational ideas that repeatedly upset us. They are all false, but many of us are inclined to at least some of them part of the time. You can get rid of these ideas by debating within yourself until you have cast them out…

3. “I must be perfect in all respects in order to be worthwhile.”

Nobody can be perfect in everything that we have to do in life. But if you believe that you’re a failure unless you are perfect in every way, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness.

4. “I must be loved and approved of by everyone who is important to me.”

Sometimes you just can’t help making enemies, and there are people in the world who bear ill will to almost everyone. But you can’t make your own life miserable by trying to please them.

5. “When people treat me unfairly, it is because they are bad people.”

Most of the people who treat you unfairly have friends and family who love them. People are mixtures of good and bad.

6. “It is terrible when I am seriously frustrated, treated badly, or rejected.”

Some people have such a short fuse, that they are constantly losing jobs or endangering friendships because they are unable to endure the slightest frustration.

7. “Misery comes from outside forces which I can’t do very much to change.”

Many prison inmates describe their life as if it were a cork, bobbing up and down on waves of circumstance. You can choose whether to see yourself as an effect of your circumstances, or a cause.

8. “If something is dangerous or scary, I have to worry about it.”

Many people believe that “the work of worrying” will help to make problems go away. “Okay, that’s over. Now, what’s the next thing on the list that I have to worry about?”

9. “It is easier to avoid life’s difficulties and responsibilities than to face them.”

Even painful experiences, once we can get through them, can serve as a basis for learning and future growth.

10. “Because things in my past controlled my life, they have to keep doing so now and in the future.”

If this were really true, it would mean that we are prisoners of our past, and change is impossible. But people change all the time — and sometimes they change dramatically!

11. “It is terrible when things do not work out exactly as I want them to.”

Could you have predicted the course of your own life? Probably not. By the same token, you can’t predict that things are going to work out exactly as you want them to, even in the short term.

12. “I can be as happy as possible by just doing nothing and enjoying myself, taking life as it comes.”

If this were true, almost every wealthy or comfortably retired person would do as little as possible. But instead, they seek new challenges as a pathway to further growth.

Ideas & Habits that Make Negative Emotions Worse

1. Learn to avoid the cognitive distortions which make things look worse than they really are. Most of us have heard the expression, “looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.” But when you use cognitive distortions, you tend to look at the world through mud-colored glasses! Here are some ideas that you should stop from rolling through your head if you catch yourself thinking them…

2. All-or-nothing thinking.

Everything is good or bad, with nothing in between. If you aren’t perfect, then you’re a failure. You procastinate doing stuff because they are not perfect until you have no other choice than doing them.

3. Overgeneralization.

A single negative event turns into a never-ending pattern of defeat. “I didn’t get a phone call. I’ll never hear from anybody again.”

4. Mental filter.

One single negative thing colors everything else. When you’re depressed, it sometimes feels like you’re “looking at the world through mud-colored glasses.”

5. Disqualifying the positive.

If somebody says something good about you, it doesn’t count. But if somebody says something bad about you, you “knew it all along.”

6. Jumping to conclusions.

You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.

7. Mind reading.

You think somebody is disrespecting you and don’t bother to check it out. You just assume that he is.

8. The Fortune Teller Error.

You think that things are going to turn out badly, and convince yourself that this is already a fact.

9. Magnification (catastrophizing) or minimization.

Imagine that you’re looking at yourself or somebody else through a pair of binoculars. You might think that a mistake you made or somebody else’s achievement are more important than they really are. Now imagine that you’ve turned the binoculars around and you’re looking through them backwards. Something you’ve done might look less important than it really is, and somebody else’s faults might look less important than they really are.

10. Emotional reasoning.

You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: “I feel it, therefore it must be true.”

11. Should statements.

You beat up on yourself as a way of getting motivated to do something. You “should” do this, you “must” do this, you “ought” to do this, and so on. This doesn’t make you want to do it, it only makes you feel guilty. When you direct should statements toward others, you feel anger, frustration, and resentment.

12. Labeling and mislabeling.

This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. When you make a mistake, you give yourself a label, such as, “I’m a loser.” When someone else’s behavior rubs you the wrong way, you attach a negative label to him, “He’s a louse.” Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded.

13. Personalization.

You believe that you were the cause of something bad that happened, when you really didn’t have very much to do with it. And ask a friend to help you realize your emotions or worries so that you can have someone to rely on.

No matter what you choose to do, it’s important to continue acknowledging the emotion. Just because you’re not reacting to an emotion doesn’t mean that emotion doesn’t exist.

Learn to recognize and anticipate “triggers” that set you off.

Some experiences like watching a film, hearing a sound or tasting a food (sensory input) can trigger or bring about good emotions. The more good ones you can recognize, pay attention to and be aware of, the easier it is to put your self in that kind of a recognizable mood. It’s far easier to get out of an angry or sad state of mind when you can know what happy or joyful state of mind is like.


It is important to be aware of & manage your emotions, but suppressing them or denying that they exist is entirely different. Suppressing your emotions can cause physical disorders and more emotional symptoms.

Many emotional problems are so complex that they require the additional professional assistance of a licensed psychologist, counselor, or social worker.

Aiyana Ma’at is the wife of Ayize Ma’at, mom of 4, and co-founder and owner of this website,, as well as Aiyana is a Seeker, Motivator, Risk Taker, Explorer, & Overcomer. She is a self-described PurposePusher and does her best to live her life with self-awareness and intention. Some of her official titles include licensed psycho-therapist, certified marriage educator & relationship coach and speaker. She is clear that a part of the call on her life is to help bring insight and awareness to others so that they can “get out of their own way” and create the lives they want to have.