Tyler Perry Says The Key To Being Successful Is To “Never Stop Believing”

By Team BLAM

Tyler Perry has been releasing short videos these days in an effort to share some of his insight and feelings with his fans. This particular video focuses on what he feels is truly needed to be successful in life. He speaks about focusing on one (not 5,6, and 7 projects) thing and doing it really well. Most of all, he says that the difference between himself and others who have not had the success they  want is the fact that he never stopped believing. Your belief is the key. Listen in and be inspired.

VIDEO: Did You Hear About Oprah’s “Back To Our Roots” Dinner?

By Team BLAM

After a day of filming, Oprah and cast members from Roots sat down for a “Back to Our Roots” dinner. Watch as Oprah and chef Art Smith consult on the menu. Then, peek in as Oprah and cast members in a toast of thanks to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Alex Haley. As I watched I thought everything looks so good! Wish I could’ve been at that dinner. Does that make me greedy?! Oh, well. 😉 Enjoy!


Stop Looking At Everything Else….Start Taking A Look At Yourself.

By Neysa Ellery Taylor

Ok, this is another kick in the rear end type of post. Are you ready? Seatbelt fastened? Ok, let’s go…I want everyone to take a good look at themselves in the mirror. Seriously. Pull out a mirror and take a look at yourself. Ask yourself this one question: “If I met myself at the club, would I want to have sex with me?” I know, it’s not real deep but it’s real. Look at yourself. Do you like what you see? If you were out and about and saw your mirror image, would you holla’ at that person? If you answered either of these questions negatively, then guess what? You have work to do.Let’s be honest if you are married or in a committed relationship for a long time there is a tendency to get comfortable. Well, “getting comfortable” isn’t the correct terminology. It should be called “I am so focused on my career, my family, trying to keep this house together, pursue this advanced degree, make this money, teach this child to read, serve my community, and my spouse that I have no time for me itis.” It’s not that you “got comfortable.” You got incredibly busy. But how does that play a part in your marriage/relationship? I’m not just talking about how your partner feels about you, but how do you feel about yourself?

I know, I know. You are thinking that your spouse should love you for you? And they should. I have witnessed my grandmother offer loving care to my terminally ill grandfather. In those final weeks, I am sure dressing up and looking “fresh” weren’t anywhere on their todo list. But if you are not battling a serious ailment, then you should upgrade your look. Why? Because your spouse deserves your best.

Let’s think about it for a second. If you were still on the dating scene you would take better care of yourself. Your hair would stay whipped. Your figure tight. The mani-pedi would be flawless. And it’s not just the ladies that would come correct. Fellas know that before they hit the club they are Diddy-clean. Fades are lined up geometry straight. They are looking good! Sometimes the care and attention to detail start to fade after you’ve been with someone awhile. Speaking from personal experience, it’s not that I don’t want to get my nails done, but when I weigh that against braces, groceries, and the light bill my nails don’t seem that important anymore. But my spouse deserves the best me that I can be. He deserves me looking my best. He deserves to have a spouse that he is proud of on his arm.

And beyond looking cute for my spouse, I deserve to be fabulous. I deserve to take time to keep myself looking nice. I deserve some “me time.” When you look better, you feel better about yourself. You have more confidence. You walk taller. You put a little extra pep in your step. No, I am not saying your looks are the most important thing in your relationship. But they are part of the package.

So stop. Check yourself out in the mirror. If you see something that isn’t to your liking, work on it. Sometimes you can upgrade your relationship by upgrading yourself.

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

NFL Players Making A Difference In The Lives Of 5000 Youth During Upcoming Super Bowl XLVI. YOU can too.

By Team BLAM

Will you be at the SuperBowl this year? Do you know someone who will? Well, spread the word. Black Celebrity Giving.com has teamed up with the LBV Foundation to make an impact. In an attempt to offset the high dropout rates among Black and Latino students and to bring attention to the importance of going to college, the partnering organizations and invited NFL players will be sponsoring waived college applications for select students. Check out more about this initiative below and GET INVOLVED!

BULU The “Be You (U), Love You (U)” AKA (BULU): Initiative For Self-Love and Empowerment for Youth – developed by LBV Foundation- is at it again and this time we are inviting you to participate!!

Back with Super-BULU 5000, LBV Foundation, in collaboration with BlackCelebrityGiving.com, we are dedicated to empowering and giving back to the community. Get involved with Super-BULU 5000 with NFL players on Friday February 3, 2012 Superbowl XLVI in Indianapolis, IN and give back to your community by empowering 5000 youth and creating champions of life! 

Qualified students nominated by the school staff for meeting criteria in the critical areas of; attendance, grades and behavior, will have the opportunity to utilize the EDU, Inc. Common Black College Application, which allows students to apply to 36 Historically Black Colleges and Universities at the same time. The use of the EDU, Inc. Application significantly increases the educational options of students by allowing them to receive acceptance letters, financial aid packages, and scholarship offers from several different colleges.



Pay It Forward…Your Love Can Profoundly Impact Another Person’s Life

By Team BLAM

Mikey Carraway feeds the homeless to raise awareness about organ donations — and to honor the man who saved his life. Mikey was selected as a CNN Hero and he has truly taken his blessing and paid it forward over and over again. As I sat and watched this little soldier I was moved. We must all remember what matters most in life. #PayItForward

Martin And Me…

By Neysa Ellery Taylor

 We’ve – I’ve – got to do better. As a community, we all have to do better. I know you are thinking, “isn’t this a marriage blog?” Well, yes and no. I believe that strong marriages make strong families and strong families make strong communities. Today I am dealing with the strong communities portion. Here’s why:
Yesterday was a wonderful MLK day in Nashville. My family and friends took part in the MLK events at Tennessee State University (my alma mater). At the convocation, Dr. Steve Perry got in our asses. Literally. He laid out the Tennessee education system and called us all co-conspirators. And guess what? He’s right. Everyday I sit here with my pompous, M.Ed.-having tail and think “Well, my kids are ok because they are smart and they know I value education.” While that is partially true, Dr. Steve Perry reminded the audience that the best Tennessee kids are just the best scholars of the worst education system in America. And that just isn’t good enough. We’ve – I’ve – got to do better.After Dr. Perry verbally kicked my butt, I took my bruised posterior over to Vanderbilt University to hear Rep. John Lewis (D-GA) speak about the “beloved community.” He implored us all to be active, to take a stand for right in our community. To be champions of a cause. To write our congressfolks and let them know what we think about what they are doing. To vote. We’ve – I’ve – got to do better.So instead of telling you what YOU should do, I am going to tell you what I am going to do. I have to be the change that I want to see in the world, right?:
1. I am going to speak to people and smile more. That is so major for me. I type and I ponder. But actually smiling and speaking is something that I am definitely working on.
2. I am going to a school board meeting, not as a journalist, but to have my voice heard as a community stakeholder. I need to know how the decision making process for my school system works and then I need to work the system.

3. I am going to attend a neighborhood meeting and join a committee. Attending a meeting and complaining about stuff isn’t productive. It’s time for committee work.
4. I am going to forgive folks that I don’t like. It’s easy to be nice to and forgive folks I love, but folks I don’t like – well, I struggle in that area. But I am going to forgive and speak nice to those that have offended me.
5. I am going to be more present when with my family. No more checking work email, looking for a job, writing the next post while talking with my family. They deserve my undivided attention.
See 5 little steps. I know you are looking at the list and thinking “You really entitled this ‘Martin and me’ and that is all that you are doing?” And my answer is “YES!” See I can’t advocate for change anywhere if my own little piece of the planet is jacked up. So I am starting at my house. I am going to make sure that the lessons learned on MLK day aren’t forgotten a mere 24 hours later. I’m starting with me.Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work atMyriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

Doing BIG Things In The Name Of Love! BlackLoveAndMarriage.com Announces Star Writing Team In 2012!

By Team BLAM

Okay, we are soooo excited and we’re excited…and did I say we are hype up in here!!!? We have been building and talking behind the scenes for quite some time now. BLAM has been growing by leaps and bounds with more and more people visiting our site every single month. We knew it was time to expand our team in a very concrete and official way and the movement that is BlackLoveAnMarriage.com was provided with exactly what was needed in the form of 6 fierce writers who will stop at nothing to get you to Stop Playing & Start Pushing!

At BlackLoveAndMarriage.com we value REAL LOVE, REAL TALK, & REAL GROWTH AND CHANGE! Every single one of us holds these values close to our heart and take what we do here at BLAM seriously. We are thrilled to have such gifted and prolific writers on our team. Trust us-they are on a mission.

So, what is the writing team’s mission?

Simple. To help people increase their self-awareness and overcome life’s obstacles by challenging us to look within, tell the truth and commit to change.

Through each of us doing our part, we will transform the image and quality of relationships in the African-American community and the nation one commitment at a time!


Make It Plain. Where Are You Going? Write Down, Edit, & Perfect YOUR Vision.

By Lana Moline

It is now 2012 and I still haven’t won a Pulitzer or saved the world. My efforts haven’t ranked me in who’s who and I haven’t gotten an invitation from Michelle Obama, herself, to the White House to have tea. I haven’t made my first million dollars and my company hasn’t reached fortune 500 status. I shop sales and absolutely could not survive without being on a budget. You want to know why all of these things are so? It’s because we’re not at the end of my story yet.

The goals listed above are on my long list of goals. The invitation from Michelle is on my “great things just happen” list. The point is, I have a few lists that I prioritize. My short-term list of goals are the most immediate goals that I work to accomplish everyday. That list is detailed and includes specifics steps, an agenda and itinerary. My long-term goals are life long goals that are more of categories such as “Professional Goals,” “Personal Development,” etc. Those goals are detailed to an extent because they are redefined the more I grow. What’s important about all of these lists is that they reflect a clear vision for the direction I’d like to go in life. They represent my passions, interests and desires.

Have you defined the vision for your life? If not, start by making a few lists!

Here’s how:

First off, recognize that your lists are personal so don’t feel that anything is silly or that you can’t put whatever you choose on your list. As such, keep them in a place that’s personal. Next, invest in a nice journal. Look for one that speaks to you and says something about who you are. For instance, if you like hiking – find one with a mountain on it. Then give yourself all the time you need to write it out. Factor in genuine areas of interest such as socializing, watching a good movie or your favorite television program but challenge yourself to develop new interests and then find unique ways to make that happen. I usually challenge myself through birthday excitement, one year it was rock climbing and the next year it was skiing. I haven’t decided what the new year’s excitement challenge will be, but I will.

Ultimately what will happen is that you will get to know yourself a lot better and it will probably surprise you. You will also find that other areas of your life will improve as authenticity shines through. A few years back one of my goals in Socializing/Personal Development was to spend time regularly with the people who care about me. By doing this one simple thing, I’ve managed a consistent lunch or girls night out with one of my closest friends in the whole world, spicy date nights with my husband and movie nights with my kids. What I get during those times is the affirmation that I am loved just as I am. It encourages me to keep trying and also lets me see how much I’ve grown.

Write it down and make it plain!

Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her at Lana Moline Speaks.

There’s No Need For New Year’s Resolutions In Our House…We Walk Around Affirming Who We Are And Where We’re Going ON THE REGULAR.

By Aiyana Ma’at

There’s no need for resolutions in our house. We walk around affirming who we are, who we want to be, what we’re gonna have, and what it’s gonna look like on a regular basis–seriously, pretty much like every day. That’s one of the reasons I am so deeply in love with Ayize–he has a mind that sees his goals and destiny like a sharp shooter sees his target. He’s focused and there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that we will keep knocking our goals down one by one when I have a man like him by my side.

At the risk of sounding a little on myself, I have to admit that I’m no slouch either. I’ve always known that I was capable of greatness and that my life would subsequently be great. Why? Just because God made me that way. God made me so that I could fulfill what He put in me. These were lessons that were constantly taught as I was growing up. When I was younger, I remember talking to my Dad about what I wanted to do when I got older and I was thinking out loud about how I would concretely be able to make that happen and each step I would need to take and then I would pause here and there because I wasn’t exactly sure how to make certain things happen. My father then said something that has stayed with me to this very day and guides much of how I live my life. He said: Kai, (that’s my middle name) you don’t figure out what you want to do by trying to figure out the details and whether it’s “do-able” first. That’s backwards.  You think and visualize what you want to do FIRST. Set the goal and then trust and know that the HOW will come. That is how I have lived my life and I have seen great accomplishments and blessings come my way as a result.

There are 3 things that we do in our family and here at Blackloveandmarriage.com to make sure we are in prime  “manifestation mode” 😉





We’re going to be talking more about the extreme importance of these things in the days to come. So, for now remember you should always be striving to go the next level in your life and in your relationship. You’ve got to visualize what that looks like and strategize (get some tools/know-how that you didn’t have before) to get the job done! Let 2012 be your year!

Happy New You!!!!!!!

Have You Seen The Trailer For Tyler Perry’s New Movie “Good Deeds”? Check it out

By Team BLAM

TRAILER: Tyler Perry is a movie making machine! So, it shouldn’t surprise that he has a new movie coming out called “Good Deeds”.

Tyler Perry’s “Good Deeds” is written, produced and directed by Tyler Perry, and stars Perry, Thandie Newton, Brian White, Rebecca Romijn, Jamie Kennedy, Eddie Cibrian, Jordenn Thompson, Beverly Johnson, with Phylicia Rashad, and Gabrielle Union.

Check out the movie description and the movie trailer (above):

A successful, wealthy businessman, Wesley Deeds (Tyler Perry) has always done what’s expected of him, whether it’s assuming the helm of his father’s company, tolerating his brother’s misbehavior at the office or planning to marry his beautiful but restless fiancee, Natalie (Gabrielle Union). But Wesley is jolted out of his predictable routine when he meets Lindsey (Thandie Newton), a down-on-her-luck single mother who works as a cleaning person in his office building. Outspoken, impulsive and proud- and also recently evicted- Lindsey struggles to make ends meet for herself and her young daughter. But when Wesley offers to help her get back on her feet, his innocent good deed ignites an unexpected attraction- and suddenly Wesley finds himself caught between the life he thought he wanted and the powerful desires of his heart….

Allright BLAM Fam: What do you think. Does the film look like a winner to you? Will you be checking it out when it hits the theaters?