How Well Do You Really Communicate. Can You Do Better?

VIDEO: One of the major issues that comes up time and time again in relationships is communication. In the classes we teach we often hear: someone isn’t talking enough, someone is talking too much, someone is always yelling, or someone doesn’t make sense. Does any of this sound familiar? The reason why there are some message mixups in our communication is because we haven’t been properly taught how to communicate with each other. In order to truly begin effectively communicating we must first learn what the various types of communication are. Here, we will discuss 5 Levels of Communication and challenge you to make your communication more authentic (REAL!) and transparent (SEE THROUGH!). Because we can always do better.

13 replies
  1. tyne
    tyne says:


    how do you reach transperancy without jeopordizing the relationship in the process? And what about If you realized you were lacking such an important factor in communication after a decision is already made to go your seperate ways, what do you ?


  2. Jazz
    Jazz says:

    Wow this hit us DEAD on! He doesn't think I talk enough, and I just think I use my words carefully.
    Our main issue is after the transparency stage is reached, where is there to go from there if there are two completely different viewpoints on a topic. (ie. our long distance relationship: i want to move even farther away to my dream city, and he won't be able to do his dream job there.) We have hit way past transparency, but still haven't figured out a solution.
    Thanks for any help! Love you both.
    My recent post My first week at Veggie-ing

  3. David Patrick
    David Patrick says:

    Great video on communication. It seems like you opened a few eyes on communication on the 5 points. One disclaimer on getting to a point of transparency takes a great deal of practice with living inside oneself and being "self-honest." You'd be surprised how many couples don't really know how to get to the "why" behind why they feel a certain a way. They can't tie their present day emotions and reactions to what has been written on their history in times past.

    So I would caution couples that desire to get to this place of transparency to take into consideration that your spouse may not know how to dig to that place initially and may not some prodding or help. I heard that you have to answer the "why" question 7 times before you get to the real WHY.

  4. Sean B.
    Sean B. says:

    Transparency, huh? I'm gonna have to think on that one. I'm just not used to being that wide open with anyone–wife included. Just being honest.

  5. Cynthia
    Cynthia says:

    Excellent, excellent post. I am a huge believer in communicating the "why" with my husband and children. Transparency nurtures true intimacy.

  6. Harriet
    Harriet says:

    First, love the outdoor post and the "Long Walk" intro song.

    Now to the more important stuff: I am FLUENT in fact and opinion. I need some Rosetta Stone immersion lessons in emotions. I just don't like the feeling of being vulnerable AT ALL. That's cool in my outside world, but not with the hubster.

    I definitely communicate the "why" behind what I feel with my children, but I could work on doing that better with my husband.

    This was awesome!

    • Ayize
      Ayize says:

      “Rosetta Stone immersion lessons in emotions”….that was too funny. I’ve been hearing Rosetta Stone more and more since Drake used it in one of his verses.LOL.

      Harriet trust and believe you are not alone…..being transparent in communication is a work that’s always in process. This message was for Aiyana and I as well. Thanks for the kudos Harriet.

      • Harriet
        Harriet says:

        Funny…I've never listened to Drake, but I love making reference to Rosetta Stone. My last job provided students the opportunity to do cultural immersion in places like Morocco, Germany, Brazil, etc.

        Thanks for telling me I'm not alone. LOL Glad I'm not the only mad scientist out there.

  7. Ma'at Heru
    Ma'at Heru says:

    Thanks, Love the video. Good insight.

  8. K.O.
    K.O. says:

    Just an FYI…"Aiyana is beautiful" is Level 2: FACT, not opinion 🙂

  9. Simone
    Simone says:

    Wow…I just got a lesson today. Thank ya'll so much for breaking down the 5 types of communication. I know for a fact that me and my husband pretty much communicate from an emotional standpoint most of the time. To be transparent will really challenge me….probably more than hubby forreal. But, i never realized how much I'm NOT communicating.

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