I Cheated Once And I’m Tempted To Cheat On My Husband Again. Help!!

VIDEO: I started to watch some of of your videos recently and enjoy every bit of it. I have been in a relationship for almost 6 years. We are not legally married but naturally we are. Since my husband and I had our first daughter in 2007 our communication went downhill. All I wanted was to spend time wtih him and recconnect as a couple, bring back the romance in our life once in a while but it didn’t happen. I am a sensitive black woman and very emotional…that’s just the way I am. Every time I would bring up the subject he would start talking about finances, living from paycheck to paycheck, expenses getting out of hand. I am a stay at home mother of three children, youngest being 4 months. Back in ’08 I cheated on my husband. It started off emotional then I slept with this guy, not even a whole night. I felt terrible I wanted to do the right thing but didn’t want to be unhappy. I’ve started to talk to another married man with similar problems and yes we are attracted to each other, physically and sexually. Am I wrong to have these feeling or is it showing me that its time to move on? I have to be careful since I have two girls 3 and 2 and a boy 4 months. I’m 26 and husband is 35. Please HELP!




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12 replies
  1. Brooke
    Brooke says:

    This woman has become accustomed to telling herself half-truths and lies. She's not married, has to admit that truth. She had an affair, has to know that if you did it for a second it's still cheating. Says she wanted to do the right thing, but not at the expense of being loyal and selfless. She wants to do something else that's underhanded, and she knows it is. However, she wants to be careful because she has children. Careful of what???? Hurting them or losing a father for them or losing someone to care for the 4 of you.

    The reason we settle, lash out, cheat, justify, lie, deceive is because we don't know and love ourselves. You have made these babies with this man and now you want to jeopardize their happiness for another lay because you lie to yourself. As the Ma'ats say, "stop playin' and start pushin"
    My recent post Black Woman’s Manifesto 2012

    • Deatha
      Deatha says:

      well said Brooke. Thats exactly what shes doing..playing. WHo does she think shes fooling? First of all..Thats not her husband…number 1, shes trying to pass off like shes made the ultimate commitment when she has not. Thats her live in lover and baby daddy.Secondly, who is she hurting? The children? THe man? THeir not even serious enough to get married. THis is the downside with living together..SHe lacks commitment and in reality she's not feeling THAT obligated. Shes talking about romance and hes seeing a female with three kids that hes not even married to and the burden that comes with it. It will be just a matter of time. He'll get tired of her wanting romance and having all those babies while he's paying all the bills for someone he doesnt even love enough, respect enough, care enough to marry. ANd sson shell be pregnant, BY THE OTHER GUY!

  2. Aretha Hill
    Aretha Hill says:

    I cheated on my husband with this guy but I didn’t stay the whole night…You never have to stay the whole nigh. We are married legally but not natrually? Sweetie are married or not. First of all sounds like you have low self esteem, every man you connect with or meet you want to sleep with. We all have problems at home, we can’t resolve the issue at hand by jumping in and out of bed with guys we meet. You need to get some counseling to deal with what’s going on on the inside before going any further.

  3. LaSonya Wright
    LaSonya Wright says:

    I don't understand "We are not legally married but naturally we are." So you're not married, so how could you cheat…moving on. And stop using the term husband.

    • Elena
      Elena says:

      I AGREE! I know I’m a bit off topic but I hate when people don’t make the ultimate commitment and want to pass it off like they did!

  4. Patricia Knight
    Patricia Knight says:

    Sounds like this couple has "painted themselves into a corner" with having so many little ones so close together. It will impact their relationship; and a brother who's paying all the bills will tend to obsess about finances. Like the Ma'at's said, sounds normal to me. Time to pay the piper by actually taking the time to raise the kids and love the man you made them with. Yep, he's gonna be a little crankier, 'cause he's paying those bills. Would your cheat mate do the same for you? Not very likely!

    Appreciat the brother for staying (in that corner you two painted yourselves into) with you!

  5. Shutoka Jefferson
    Shutoka Jefferson says:

    You guys are great I love the the positive image you all are putting out. I'm A 30 year old single woman I'm alone but not lonely and your videos keep me inspired

  6. Ava Rochelle
    Ava Rochelle says:

    "The grass is greener on the other side when you're? not tending to your own lawn."….WOW….. I've never heard that saying before. That was good. I love watching you guys…So much wisdom!!!!

  7. Tonia Go3
    Tonia Go3 says:

    omg this is exactly how i feel unappreciated left behind and the last option so i see this is normal to feel this way? and to now expect this. well thanks for keeping it real and giving us all advice. i see we all have issues that we can relate in some way shape or form.


  8. Cooley HairGal
    Cooley HairGal says:

    I am feeling this topic. In my past marriage, I was the one who was cheated ON. My husband and I divorced. The issues that he had "with me" he now deals with with his now girlfriend (w/3 kids by 3 different men). Recently we spoke he confided in me that he feels like a "failure" and is "sorry" . So, it's true? what Ayiza stated,

    "the grass always look greener on the other side when u aren't tending to your own lawn". Love that…I will be adding that statement to my book of quotes.

    • ToniaGo3
      ToniaGo3 says:

      love the quote too!!! will be using it because it is sooooo true….i do wish u luck with your future

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