I Submit To You
VIDEO: Do you submit to your spouse in your relationship? Do you make sacrifices that show the relationship is about the both of you vs. just one of you. It’s a beautiful thing when your spouse recognizes and affirms your brilliance, beauty, and potential and then unapologetically says I SUBMIT TO YOU. My wife, Aiyana, told me she submit to me the other day….man, I can’t begin to tell you how that feels….but I’m going to try. Listen in.
First let me say that I just caught wind of this beautiful series that you and Aiyana are sharing with your viewers. It is not easy to be (as Aiyana expressed in another episode, "transparent") but I am thankful for your transparency and willingness to share of your personal selves because it is so insightful.
Aiyize, I admire your courage in approaching the subject of marriage/relationships and submission and I equally appreciate that you shared your personal experience with Aiyana from the angle you received it when she spoke those endearing, beautiful words, "I submit to you". You said it was like she was saying, I trust you. I think that is the highest level of trust because it is not just saying, I trust that you won't hurt me or do this thing or that thing. It is like, I trust that you GOT me, and to me that is inclusive of unconditional love, trust, and respect. It is a beautiful thang when two people can get to that place and I do think it is a place to get to. I think knowing you can submit to your mate is a natural progression and for most, that progression happens over a period of time and not necessarily overnight.
I am not married (at present, smile) but I a have a wonderful mate who has been my friend for many years and in our friendship and the growth of a relationship, I can certainly remember the point where I knew, then felt, then expressed, hey I know you got me, and I can defer. I can accept the leader in you, and there was nothing to it to say, hey I can be lead because I know this person is not going to abuse my trust, neglect my needs, or misinterpret my respect and admiration as fuel for displaced egos. I knew it was a genuine thing, and when something is authentic, that's when love can really get up in that thang and work at its full capacity.
When you speak submission (particularly with black folk, and even more particularly with women) as a woman myself, I know this subject, this word, can open up a can of worms because it is a trigger word. In conversations I have had or observed, I've notice that it sets off so many feelings and emotions. I think I/we have to ask why though? What's in it, this word that eludes at its best to love, humility and respect? I think many people are in protective armament and to loving means to disarm and that can be frightening; to submit means to totally open up and totally disarm.
You and Aiyana are just absolutely beautiful and I pray continued love, growth and strength for you and your family. Thank you for giving it 100 for those of us who ponder on and consider these things, and want to grow and love and be who we are, loving and disarmed, when the world sometimes says we should be timid and fearful…nah…we gotta be free!
Those are some real powerful words you wrote. Thank you for offering your insight and sharing with our community the importance of being "loving and disarmed".
My recent post Tips For Great Sex When Dealing With Impotence
It's important to have a balance. My husband often threw in my face the whole "head of the household" thing, and in my mind now, that's something that:
– requires the woman to make WISE DECISIONS when it comes to choosing a husband (if he is not someone you want leading you from the get go, chances are it won't change, and try as you might, you won't be able to change him);
– should be earned daily by the husband, but even if he doesn't earn it, in a healthy, loving relationship, should be given anyway (especially in a Christian marriage);
– should be seen not as a "have to" but a "get to." I don't have to do it…as a wife, I have the free will to submit or not. But if I'm grateful for the person I say God placed in my life, then as a woman, it is a PRIVILEGE and HONOR to submit.
Ayize, on a lighter note, you must have put it on Aiyana for her to say something like that in the afterglow! LOL
True….You gotta have self respect if you expect others to respect you. Create your own reality….write your own book ……you shouldn’t have to beg for respect….your presence alone should require it.
.-= Ayize´s last blog ..How Do I Tell My Man The Sex Sucks =-.
I feel like thats a joke and it is bad. I only thank and worry about me no one in my life do anything for me for kindness. I’m always begging for the same respect I GIVE OUT.
I GETTING TIRED JUST NOT THER YET.