Are You Keeping It Real?

VIDEO: What does it mean to truly keep it real in our relationships? Here, we will explore what it means to bring your “Real Self” to your relationship versus your “Contrived Self”. I believe we all have 2 selves. However, our goal should be to operate from our truest and most authentic self…especially in what’s supposed to be one of our most intimate relationships. But, far too often, I find that we are “fronting” and “perpetrating” in our relationships—scared to let the true you totally come out.

QUESTION: How can we, as human beings, stop being so concerned with how we appear, sound, and look to our loved ones and the world and focus more on keeping it real? What are the risks of keeping it real?

6 replies
  1. K.O.
    K.O. says:

    I definitely think that it’s important to “keep it real” in a relationship. And yes, the real risks may come with NOT keeping it real. But putting yourself out there in a relationship, and exposing your weaknesses, leaves you very vulnerable to another person. And what that other person does with your “real” self, can be very hurtful or even damaging. It’s scary to be 100% transparent with another person and know that you’re feelings and emotions are safe with them. It takes a lot of trust to be able to open your entire self up to another person.

  2. Ayize Ma'at
    Ayize Ma'at says:

    My wife just said to me that…because I failed to read her mind and get her the type of soda she wanted ….I don’t know her…..LOL. I just threw that in here because it’s good to be lighthearted in your relationship. But back on point…..fear of rejection has a lot to do with not “keeping it real”. That fear of rejection may emanate from a low sense of self.

  3. Kymberly
    Kymberly says:

    Wow, great question. There are absolutely no risks of “Keeping it real”. You should always be your true self around your mate, especially after the “honeymoon” period lol. There are definitely significant risks of NOT “Keeping it real” in your relationship because you’re hiding back parts of you that your mate doesn’t know. Therefore, he/she doesn’t truly get to know you for who you really are and may not even like those things that you’re hiding.

    Your mate may feel as if you provided them with a false representation of yourself and that can cause a lack of trust. This often happens when one is unhappy with themself. This could be a sign of low self esteem. And, if you are not happy with yourself in a whole, how can you be happy with someone else, even more so in your relationship.

  4. admin
    admin says:

    I like how you included the risk of NOT keeping it real. That was big. It’s kinda difficult not to be transparent and vulnerable in my home because i live with a therapist (MY WIFE) LOL!

  5. Harriet
    Harriet says:

    This is outstanding! My husband and I have been working more towards being more transparent with one another. Vulnerability for personality types like us is extremely difficult, but we’ve found that for us to dwell together with undersanding, it’s absolutely mandatory!

    So to answer the question, the real risk for a relationship is in NOT being real, transparent and vulnerable with a partner. No matter how good I think I am at observing and reading non-verbals, the only way I’ll know and understand what’s in the mind of my husband is if he communicates it to me. The same thing vice versa. If we don’t do that with one another, we’ve found out (the hard way, obviously) that it puts everything else at risk.
    .-= Harriet´s last blog ..Take Off The Mask! =-.

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