Should I Stay With My Lying Husband?
Hello…I wanted to ask you guys a question after watching you on YouTube. I am going to give you a little background into ourmarriage.
I have be married for 5 months and I am beginning to reach my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. After being marriedfor 1 month, I discovered that my new husband was on dating websites and giving women his number. After confronting him, he deleted his accounts and told me that he would not talk to these women again. This of course caused a great deal of insecurity with me and within our marriage. I couldn’t believe that he was doing this after just one month of marriage. Was there something I was or wasn’t doing that made him feel he needed to seek out someone else? Was I not enough? Of course I asked him all of these questions and he said that I was enough and it wasn’t anything I was doing. He said it was just something he did for no real reason. Of course this has caused a great deal of insecurity for me about our marriage.
My husband is currently talking to this woman he knew before we got married. He talks to this woman on the phone multiple times a day almost every day. I have asked him repeatedly if he is talking to this woman and he continues to deny it and flat out lie to me. I know how often he is talking to this woman because I can see the call records. Most of the time, he is the one doing the calling. I am getting more and more frustrated because he continues to lie. I don’t know what to do. It has gotten to the point where I have looked up divorce laws and procedures in our state. This is my first marriage and his second. His firstmarriage ended because he cheated. He says he’s not cheating on me but I believe that cheating is not only physical or sexual but cheating can also be emotional and I feel that he is betraying me by talking to this woman on a daily basis and then lying to me about it. We started marriage counseling where he said that he would pull back on talking to this woman. But he hasn’t. I am at a lost and I don’t know what to do. Should I just try to stick out and continue to go to marriage counseling in hopes that it would change? How should I address him about this situation because obviously simply asking him is not working because he continues to lie? Should I just be secure and believe that they are just friends and there is nothing going on? Any advice you can give would be much appreciated.
Thank you
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My name is faleana how long have you guys been married
Get out of the marriage NOW! I found out my husband was a pathalogical liar after we were married & after our son was born. I ask my mother for help so I could leave & she didn't want to help me. I had no one to stay with in my family. No Career, No Help, and on disablility. I stayed for 19 years & 4 kids later, he still LIES from time to time. I feel more trapped with him now. Also, don't think that if you have kids with him, that he will Change, because my husband did NOT. He was okay for a while, but slipped from time to time. I'm the bigger fool, because I let it go years ago, took in more lies, but most of all, I lied to myself thinking that he would change. Lies destroy's families, even your children, so please, get out while you can, and DON'T have kids with a Liar, because your children will hurt the most.
Now THAT was some of the most real talk I've heard in quite a while! That was the absolute truth – let's hope that woman got 'fed' and heard your message!!!
How long were you two together before you got married? How long was the engagement? How long was his first marriage? I'm asking these questions about time because 1. There may have been ample time for you to see and realize that he's a liar and a cheater. OR 2. May you didn't allow enough time to learn the real him. Did you two do pre-marriage counseling?
Unless he's ready to be truthful and get some help, then how can you move forward in your marriage? His first marriage ended for the same reason and it sounds like he has no respect for 1. Himself 2. You and 3. Your marriage vows.
Also, DO NOT blame yourself for his actions. He is cheating because he has insecurities about himself (not because you are not worthy).
I pray that he confesses and really wants to mature and get some help.
Godspeed.