Should Women Cook & Clean And Men Pay Bills & Provide?
VIDEO: When entering into an agreement…it’s good to have roles and responsibilities clearly defined to minimize the possibility of confusion, conflict, and drama! The same goes for a relationship. Role definition is good. However, couples tend to experience problems when they allow someone or something outside of themselves to determine what those roles should be versus defining the roles themselves. Every couple is different so every relationship will look different, right? Or are there some things meant for women and some things meant for men?
*We get asked this question all the time so we decided to pull out an oldie but goodie. Listen in and give us your opinion.
Thanks for the advice.
@Sunshine
Ultimately, a couple has to be willing to compromise. While there are typical roles that society tends to dictate for men and women—at the end of the day the couple have to be the ones to define what works for them. If you’re having trouble agreeing on who should do what then here are two tips to help move beyond the difficulty:
#1 Who does it matter to the most? If a wife feels that her husband should handle all car related responsibilities (i.e., maintaining the cars, washing them, filling them up with gas,etc.) and her husband feels that this is unnecessary and doesn’t understand why his wife feels this is important–the question to ask is “Who does it matter to the most?” and let the person who cares the most win out on this one. See, oftentimes if we don’t understand our spouse’s way of thinking then we have a hard time bending for them. We need to understand that we won’t always understand their way of seeing things and to tell you the truth—it’s not always that important….which leads me to point #2
#2 Do what’s best for the relationship—not what’s best for you. Both partners should ask themselves What’s best for the marriage? Because when one partner “gets their way” then the marriage loses but when you approach it from what works best for the marriage then the relationship wins and you both win.
.-= Aiyana Ma’at´s last blog ..Is Sharing Sex Stories A No No When Married =-.
Thanks for tackling this topic. What advice do you have for a couple who has difficulty identifying what each other’s roles should be in the home? Thanks.
Both my wife and I agree that couples should do what is comfortable for the both of them. We have been married for 29 years and most of that time I have done the cooking for our family and my wife has been most responsible for the bills. There are other responsibilities we share when it comes to our family, so we don't trip. Our arrangement works for us.
What's up Robert,
Thanks for the wisdom. How are yall doing? We really appreciate your comments on our site.
Excellent response you guys. You have to do what works for you. My parents have been married for 45 years and my Dad still cooks and handle the laundry. My Mom cooks when she feels like it but he's better at it and enjoys it. I have been married for 20 years. The only role I have to play is to give birth. LOL He can't do that one but seriously, we can't allow a set of rules developed by someone else to cause confusion in our homes. You have to do what works for you in your home and learn to compromise.
@Cynthia
You are so right! Do what works for you and yours…. 🙂
Funny, this was the topic today. I am going thru something simialar today and its crazy because I feel I do evrything. I pay the major bills and he buys grocerys. He and I both cook, but I handle the baby. I do my own labor work with my car and other things. I feel like im the man and the woman in this. Im glad you talked about it but i cant communicate what I need …good luck !