By Ilex Bien-Aime
I was talking with my wife the other day about the differences between little girls and little boys. A little girl plays with Barbie and Ken with a sense of innocence. She may have them walk together holding hands and will occasionally make them smooch but little boys are conditioned differently. Little boys will try to make the dolls hump each other while trying to replay the scene from a dirty movie. Long before he has had sex, the young boy has already developed a view of what sex is.
Think of the porn that men generally hide. Maybe back in the day it was Playboy, but trust me Playboy is like watching a sex scene on NBC compared to other magazines and media. Not to be crass but little boys are exposed to women with their legs wide open, penetration, and oral stimulation. In a time in which we should be learning about the Declaration of Independence and long division, we are learning about sex in the most unhealthy of ways.
Now times have changed and I saw the beginning of that change while I was growing up in South Florida. 2 Live Crew used to play on the radio. Guys would drive around in their cars with loud speakers blasting “Shake what your momma gave ya” and “Hey we want some p___y”. Before we knew any better, we were singing “head, head, and mo’ head”. Now little boys don’t have to sneak to watch Playboy because BET makes sure that we see more than enough soft core nudity.
Little boys aren’t really raised with the mind set of what healthy sex is. He is raised on terminology like “when you gonna let me hit that”, I am gonna blow your back out”, and “When you gonna give me some brains”……So this is what he has become. Women aren’t really seen as queens and princesses, but rather as objects of desire. For most men, it does not make him angry to see Nelly swipe a credit card down a woman’s behind -he may think that it’s funny and maybe even something that he wants to try. This is not an excuse for the male behavior, however I believe this to be an important insight into why he behaves the way that he does.