VIDEO: A lot of people have dates that go wrong. Unfortunately some dates go so wrong that it leaves some people to question whether they should consider dating outside of their race. In this video we answer the questions of a black woman that just recently began dating brothas again (she stopped dating black men for a period of 10 years). Her first date was with a Rasta…and she was optimistic as she is Rastafarian too. Unfortunately her potentially good date went real bad real fast. Ultimately what we’re asking her to do is to look at herself, her judgement, who she is attracted to, who she is attracting, and then answer the one word million dollar question—WHY?
A couple of Red Flags stood out to us in this situation that we can all learn from…
#1: This young lady shared how excited she was because she had finally met a black man she was interested in and he shared her same spiritual system. Word To The Wise: While it’s normal to be excited about an upcoming date and the possibilities that exist, you should always balance that natural enthusiasm with level headed observation and discernment. Sometimes, we let our imaginations get the best of us and see more than is really there. For example, this sista was excited that the young man was Rasta—but, forreal—so what. How many of us know folks who say they are something and once we get to know them we realize they are not quite what we thought. And, just because two folks are both Rasta, or Muslim, or Christian, or Yoruba (you get the picture) doesn’t mean they believe the same thing. That may be hard for some to understand. But, spirituality is so vastly boundless and personal. You shouldn’t assume you know a potential suitor’s spiritual location based on what they call themselves alone.
#2: This young lady says she felt a bit uneasy because this dude seemed pretty anxious to get her over his house. Maybe, we’re just old school— but first date’s shouldn’t be at someone’s house! I mean you don’t know this person. Safety 1st! So, you’ve spoken on the phone and know that you are mutually interested in each other. Ok, big deal. This doesn’t mean you get to come to my place or that I will come to yours. It means we can get together–in public…..like on an actual date. I’m sorry, but if you’re starting out on the first date in the house—that’s a problem. And, no a lot of money doesn’t have to be spent to go out. As a matter of fact while sitting on my couch writing this I just googled Totally Free Dating Ideas and found that <———- in 2 seconds so there’s no excuse!
B Intentional Family, let us know what you think or submit a video response! You know we want to hear your opinion.