Turn Down The Drama….Turn Up The Connection

Why does your relationship have to be so drama filled all the damn time?  Why do you have to be so dramafied?  Turn it down ladies and gentlemen…the chaos you create is causing your relationships self destruction.  It’s time to take ownership of the roll you play in bringing negativity to the table and make a commitment to DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.  You can TURN UP THE CONNECTION in your relationship by being more positive.  BE MORE POSITIVE…..say hi to your spouse, give your boo a kiss, hold your significant other’s hand, by your lover a gift…..smile at your love.  BE MORE POSITIVE and watch a transformation take place.


What’s up y’all we are Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at….a married couple that has been together since high school. Yup…high school sweet hearts. We have Fo’… not four… but Fo’ incredible children…who keep us on our toes all the time : ) We are relationship therapists, coaches, and experts that have been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers, TV One, and other media outlets. We are helpers…we are healers….and we are here to serve you.

If you or someone you know would like to have INDIVIDUAL or COUPLES coaching from us please CLICK HERE

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Gay…To Be Or Not To Be? The Door Is Open And I Won’t Come Out.

Dear Ayize & Aiyana,
     I know that you’ve discussed this previously but my story is a tad different. I am 22 going on 23 in April, a full time student and employed full time, no children, aspiring to be the owner of a spa and a plus- size model, I am celibate and most importantly, I am a Christian. In writing, I seem well put together but mentally and spiritually, I am NOT. I know what The Word of God says but what do you do when it doesnot match up with what you feel and, in my case, what you have been running from?    Growing up, I knew I was…”different”. At the early age of 6, I had thoughts of a female. During lunch time, this girl used my name in an example; she moaned my name and I started thinking about sex with her. Now what does a 1st grader know about sex is beyond most people’s imagination but it really goes to show you that children know more than you think. In addition to this, I’ve dealt with abuse from my father up until I was 15 years old. A LOT went on with that man.

When I was 9, I met this girl at summer camp who 8 years later became my first love. We were together a little over 2 years and ever since then, she’s been my only love. At the beginning of this relationship, I came out to my mother and she was FURIOUS! After her, I dated women for a year then got back with the guy that I dumped for her. I’ve been dating guys mostly and have talked to two women.

When I’m with a guy, it’s almost kind of…weird. I have a dominant personality which exudes a masculine aura. And my goodness when they challenge me, I HAVE to show them up. It’s kind of like two guys competing. As far as sex went, it was kind of boring and emotionless for me no matter how “good” it was and despite the fact that I was in a relationship with them. Upon losing my virginity right before my 17th birthday, I’ve had sex with 4 guys from then until now. It was simply sex, but when I was with my first love, I felt it in my heart.
Because I am a Christian, it is beyond hard to accept this part of me. To make matters worse, my older sister is a married lesbian with an adopted son and my younger brother is in question *he’s a tad on the feminine side*. My mother always thought that I’d the straight one but mentally, I don’t identify as that. She and others believe that I’m like this because of my sister but she has absolutely nothing to do with my problem. I didn’t even know she was a lesbian until I was in the 6th grade;
WEEEELLLLL after these thoughts started. Since my mother “gave birth to me in church”, I don’t want to leave my church but I also can’t stand for what I don’t believe when it comes to homosexuality. How do I get to a place of either acceptance of this or deliverance from this? I’ve prayed SOOO many times and went to the alter in church so that I could finally be free but it’s still heavy on me.
I think of how my life should be as far as family; a husband and 2 or 3 kids, however, I’m not sure. I just don’t want to be with a man and leave him for a woman like I did in the past, that’s why I’m trying to sort this out now before anything serious. Also, I’ve never been in love with a man. Could you all please help me so I can bury this once and for all?
Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at (founders of this site) are relationship experts and internet marketers who have been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers, TV One, and other media outlets.  They are helping people build healthy relationships and build home based businesses.  To get INDIVIDUAL or COUPLES  COACHING from Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at CLICK HERE.  To learn how you can MAKE MONEY while working from home CLICK HERE.

I Hate Being Black!!!

By Ayize Ma’at

The pain that black folks experience runs deep.  There have been hundreds of years of self-hate passed down from generation to generation in the black community.  The consequences of generational scars have been aptly coined Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome.  Neither you or I can escape it….it is what it is.

While we all may deal with remnants of slavery in some form or fashion, it’s rare that you see or hear African Americans overtly dissociate from their race.  Many people develop maladaptive coping mechanisms (i.e. the mutation of nigger to nigga) to depersonalize the psycho-emotional pain attached to traumatic historical experiences.  In the above video you see a lot of that….denial, dissociation, and repression as a means of survival.

To all the folks who feel like they feel…THERE’S A BETTER WAY YALL.

Black is NOT synonymous with bad, ugly, painful, ghetto, dirty, cheap, or ridiculousness.


Genius was birthed out of blackness…from the womb of a black woman came the founders of science, mathematics, history, technology, and spirituality.  From the virility of a black man came the original architects, poets, professors, politicians, schools, etc.


It’s imperative that we all engage in a process of cognitive reframing by studying who we were, changing who we are, and realizing who we can be….so that we minimize the effects of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome.  This is not a maybe….IT’S A MUST.

Greatness is awaiting all of us…

But we must take the first step toward it.  Embrace all of you as you put one foot in front of the other.

Hold your head high….and say….


Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at (founders of this site) are relationship experts and internet marketers who have been featured on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers, TV One, and other media outlets.  They are helping people build healthy relationships and build home based businesses.  To learn how you can MAKE MONEY while working from home CLICK HERE.  To get INDIVIDUAL or COUPLES  COACHING from Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at CLICK HERE.

We Tried To Freeze Water Mid-Air…..And Failed LOL

The other night we were watching the 11o’clock news and we saw a news reporter do a demonstration to show how cold it was outside.  She threw some water in the air and it turned to what we think was either ice, snow, white powder, or a white mist mid-air.  We were fascinated by this so we got the bright idea to go outside at 12:30 at night and try it. Check out the video and see what happened when we made our attempt….LOL.

Collective Work And Responsibility And The Ma’at Family

We’ve said over and over and over again that RELATIONSHIPS RULE THE WORLD.  In order to have any impact whether it be on a micro or macro level you’ve got to engage in collective work and understand the responsibility attached to it.  This is the work of Ujima…the principle of the 3rd day of Kwanzaa.  In this video we talk about Ujima and how we apply it in our family.


Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at are relationship experts and internet marketers who are teaching people how to build healthy relationships and home based businesses online.They have been featured on The Oprah Winfrey Network, Dr. Drew’s Life Changer’s, TV One, and other media platforms.  If you’d like to join their team and be inspired by their passion to take your love life and your business to the next level…..CLICK HERE

If you need to contact us for INDIVIDUAL/ COUPLES COACHING or COUNSELING. click here – http://smb01.com/individual-couples-coaching-with-ayize-aiyana-maat

Black Folks & Self-Determination….A Beautiful Thang

By Aiyana Ma’at

Today is the second day of Kwanzaa and we are lifting up Kujichagulia which means Self-Determination. I love this principle not only because it is so powerful for me on a personal level but because it is do necessary for how we live our lives every single day.

Issues with your man? Try some Self-Determination.

Issues with you kids? Self-Determination….

How about issues with your self-esteem? Some old-fashioned Self-Determination is all you need.

Listen in as I ramble a bit (…but it’s purposeful rambling….lol) about Black Folks & Self-Determination.

Love ya’ll.

*DISCLAIMER*— Ayize (my hubby) is responsible for the ratchet cinematography….Lol! -Aiyana xoxxo



Habari Gani? What’s Your End Game?

As we approach the end of 2013 I ask the question….What’s your end game?  There is an opportunity for you to build momentum as you enter 2014 with the way you end 2013.  Kwanzaa is an excellent opportunity for you to get centered and re-engage 7 transformative principles that will change your life.  Habari Gani fam?  On the first day of Kwanzaa the principle we celebrate is Umoja.  Umoja means unity.




What Do You Do When The Alarm Goes Off?…Do You Run And Hide or Face Your Fear?

Fear is necessary…it alerts us to physical and emotional danger.  Although it’s a part of who we are, sometimes we allow past experiences to assign fear to anticipated experiences when it may not even be necessary.  Simply put…we’re afraid for no damn reason.  A lot of times, fear is an involuntary response based on past conditioning, that we wish we didn’t have.  Sorry…the roots of your fear run deep so it’s gonna take some time to get over whatever issues have you emotionally petrified.  Really and truthfully eliminating fear is NOT THE POINT.  The more important point is, how do you deal with fear when it has you in it’s grip.  In this video we share an experience where fear held us hostage…and we also share a similar experience where we acknowledged the fear and stood tall and faced it.  Check it out and let us know what you think.

20 + Years And Still Dancing

A couple of days ago we had a session with a couple and one of the homework assignments we gave them was to physically connect every single day until our next session.  We asked them to be intentional and make sure they have a moment every single day where they pause and acknowledge each other.  They then asked, “How do we do that?”.  One of the recommendations we gave them was to dance with each other every night before bed time.  They looked at each other…they looked at us…they both smiled that type of knowing smile….like..”it’s about to be on and popping”.  It’s a beautiful thing to see couples smiling, laughing, and dancing especially after 20 years of marriage. Love is real yall. The question is…do you believe?

Do You Make Your Woman Feel Comfortable?

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click here – http://smb01.com/individual-couples-coaching-with-ayize-aiyana-maat