How To Encourage A Loved One To Lose Weight

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By Brittany Gatson

We know, it’s hard, but encouraging an overweight partner or close friend to shed some pounds for their health’s sake is a necessary thing. Yet a recent poll finds that while most people worry that an excessive waistline might be affecting their loved one’s health, a considerable number shy away from raising the matter with them.

Is there a way to help a family member lose weight without being hurtful? Well, good intentions can still hurt if they’re not done in the proper way. So instead of coming off as critical, try a more positive approach. If you decide to tell someone they need to diet; there are tactful ways to take this step. Instead of outwardly saying ‘you need to lose weight,’ you could say ‘I love you just the way you are and I want you around for a long time for me and the kids, so you might want to eat in a healthier way.

If you don’t go about it the right way, it could have severe repercussions. The recipient would be mortified that someone noticed they were overweight and the relationship would never ever be the same. That’s when people go into the closet and become secret eaters. So what do you do?

Here are a few tips to help start the conversation.

1. Focus on your loved one’s health, rather than weight. When talking about weight loss, stay on track and list the reasons you’re worried about their health, such as future heart problems, diabetes and a shortened life span. If you focus on their weight alone, it could make them feel offended and self-conscious. A preoccupation with weight and appearance could potentially lead to an eating disorder.

2. Offer to make this a team effort. Note that you’d also like to lose weight so your loved one doesn’t feel isolated by your words. Instead, a promise to exercise and eat a healthful diet helps your loved one feel supported and less alone in their fight to lose weight. Talk about your own goals, whether they be weight loss, better overall health or other reasons to change your habits.

3. Arrange for daily exercise together. When your loved one knows that she’s held accountable to you, she might be less likely to skip a session at the gym or daily exercise at home. Attend the gym together, arrange for daily walks or borrow fitness DVDs from the library to help your friend or family member stay motivated to exercise at least 30 minutes daily.

4. Remove temptations from your loved one’s life. If eating out is her weakness, offer to stay in and cook a healthful meal together instead. If she tends to graze in the pantry, purchase healthier foods to replace unhealthful snacks. By removing the temptation altogether, you increase your loved one’s resolve and chances for overall success. Ask that your loved one contacts you when her resolve becomes weak to allow you to offer support whenever necessary.

5. Recognize both small and large accomplishments to help your loved one stay motivated. Whether it’s a week of daily exercise or the dropping of a dress size, each weight loss milestone should be celebrated as a way to keep your loved one on track. Just avoid rewarding milestones with food because it confuses food with emotions. Instead, send a congratulatory email, take her out for pedicures or rent a movie.

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Good Love Can Lead To Good Health

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By Felicia Vance

Ain’t love grand? It’s fulfilling, exciting and, as it turns out, good for you, too. Love  can bring you more than just giddiness—it can also positively affect your health and well-being. So whether you’ve been married for years or are single and looking, the following evidence will remind you why it’s important to make room for love in your life.

It may bolster your immune system.

Research suggests that happy couples who engage in positive conflict resolution have higher functioning immune systems than those who don’t, says Gian Gonzaga, MD, senior director of research & development at eHarmony Labs. He points to a study by Ronald Glazer and Jan Kiecolt-Glaser, in which couples were observed during disputes. The couples who displayed the most negative behavior during the fights also showed the largest decline in immediate immune system functioning. Those who argued in a more loving, positive way had higher immediate immune function. Looking to fight in a healthier way? According to Dr. Gonzaga, the key to positive conflict resolution is productively engaging in the conversation without retreating or “stonewalling” each other.

It can make you physically fit.

No, you don’t get to bid your gym membership goodbye. But, it turns out that couples who exercise together have more success than people who sweat solo. According to certified fitness trainer and nutritionist Jay Cardiello, “nearly half of people who exercise alone quit their programs after one year, but two-thirds of those who work out with a loved one stick to it.” Even better: Both men and women work between 12 and 15 percent harder when training with a romantic partner. Whether it’s the excitement of being together or the extra push to keep up with your partner, sweating à deux clearly has its benefits. To reap the rewards, try scheduling in gym sessions with your honey during a time when you’ll both be able to commit, like in the morning or during lunch.

It might help you live longer.

“There’s a long history of research that has looked at the health benefits of marriage,” says Joseph Hullett, MD, psychiatrist and senior medical director for OptumHealth, Behavioral Solutions. “According to a 2004 study by the CDC, mortality rates were found to be the lowest in married couples.” Dr. Hullett attributes these findings to the fact that, generally speaking, people experience less stress when they’re in committed, healthy relationships—and less stress means better health. Plus, it has been shown that when men marry they give up some of their risky behavior—like heavy drinking and smoking—which leads to longevity. Good news for your hubby!

It may clear up your skin.

That healthy glow of being in love? It’s not just a myth! “When our love life is in order, our stress levels are lower,” says Genaise Gerstner, MD, a New York City-based dermatologist. “There is less free-floating cortisol—high cortisol levels cause stress-induced acne––and thus less skin breakouts and pimples.”

It can improve your heart heath.

“Human beings are social animals who have biological drives that make them want to find relationships,” says Dr. Hullett. “When they can’t find those unions, they’re punished with stress.” People in happy relationships experience less stress, which in turn improves their cardiovascular health. Furthermore, Dr. Hullett says people who aren’t in stable, committed relationships have an increased rate of heart attacks, particularly those who have been widowed, giving a graver meaning to the term “heartbroken.”

It can reduce feelings of pain.

The comfort of holding your husband’s hand can actually minimize your feelings of pain, according to a recent study. “Researchers studied people that experienced electrical shocks and found that holding someone’s hand ameliorated the pain and perception of pain,” says Dr. Hullett. The most fascinating part? These feelings of pain decreased even more when the female subjects—who were in happy marriages––held their husband’s hands. “Yes, friends helped reduce the pain that these subjects were feeling, but their husband did a better job at it.”

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Q-Tip Calls Out Russell Simons, Toure’, And All Black Folk Who Run To Defense Of Gwyneth Paltrow’s Use Of The “N” Word

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Russell Simmons stepped into the middle of the Gwyneth Paltrow controversy to defend her use of the “N” word, saying “We were able to take a vicious, racist term and make it a term of endearment” and “We took control of something that was used for so much hate and made it love.”

Well, Q-Tip ain’t buying it, and he had tweeted the following to all the black Paltrow defenders:

“Listen Rush Simmons, Toure, and all Black folk who are sympathist to this gwen paltrow nigga thing. She may not have meant harm, sure it was in the heat of the moment but that fact that she showed not 1 IOTA of an apologetic tone, given the historical weight of that word is not responsible of G paltrow’s part.  As powerful as hiphop is it DOESNT erase the years of damage that not only that word has done but circumstances that usually surrounded it. Sure there is empathy for the black American struggle from all races but the empathy shld be extended to the great pain we as blacks have experienced for generations.  For the pain that we still deal with in our communities daily. Was gwen wrong for recognizing unrelated people to the song as “niggas in paris for real”? debatable. BUT she SHLD have. Paltrow shld have offered a “if i offended anyone im truly sorry” as a person who loves black people and understands there’s a scope of black folk that exist beyond the ones that she partied with in Paris who are still dealing w the complexities of their circumstances. black folks that dont know about giving a white person a “pass” … there is a lot to this thing. Rush ? Toure? its ok its all love brothas but lets build … later! and i got love for yall and im glad we can express our views! peace. BTW i said nothing mean or nasty. i met gwen and chris. kool peeps! so no need to be mean in ur responses.”

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Do You Love Yourself Enough To Recreate Yourself?

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By Skye Thomas

So it’s time for a change. You’ve taken that hard look in the mirror and you’ve decided that who you are is not who you want to be. Or perhaps you’re standing at a fork in the road and where you’d like to go requires that you make some changes. Maybe you’re just really bored with your life as you’ve been in that same old rut for so long that you just want to scream if you spend another day doing the same amazingly boring things all over again. The reasons for change are as varied as the people making the decision to do so. The only thing you have to remember is that the change must come from you, not from someone else. And it can’t be a gift to someone else, it won’t work. Ultimately, recreating ourselves is a very personal choice and a very personal decision that others really can’t help us with.

Your wife thinks you drink too much and should quit. Your parents think you screw off too much and need to pull better grades. Your boss thinks you’re a slacker and you need to be more professional. If the people in your life are hammering you to change, then it may be time to take a long hard look in the mirror. To some extent you have to be open to the idea that they may be right. However, they aren’t you. They can’t walk in your shoes. Nobody can completely totally understand another person. Only you really know what is right for you. Only you can pick your path in life, who you choose to walk with along the way, and what kind of person you are while traveling. Some people are misunderstood visionary geniuses. Others are simply rebellious and lazy. Most of us fall somewhere in between. You cannot let others dictate who or what you are to become. The choice to recreate yourself must come from within.

Now if you’ve looked deep within and you’ve decided that you want to change because you would be happier, then it’s time to start. My personal moment came when I realized that I was only twenty-five and was never ever going to fall in love again and was going to be shattered and heartbroken for another fifty years or so before I’d finally get to roll over and die. A very morbid thought I know, but that’s exactly my point. At some point you do the math asking yourself, “If I stay just like this – on this path – with this mindset – with this income level – with these people surrounding me – with this lifestyle – How will my life look in five years? In ten? In fifty?” It can be an incredibly sobering and depressing answer. Mine was, so I made a decision to change who I was so that the next fifty years would at least be different with a chance of happiness. I think we can safely assume that if you’re reading this, then you aren’t one of those people who is happily moving through life on a path they love, with people they love, and an attitude that is a joy to behold. If that is you, thank you! Please continue to role model it for everyone else and whenever possible cheer someone on as they make the changes to do the same. As for the rest of us who’ve hit that point where after analysis we’ve decided to make a fresh start as someone else other than who we are, where do we start?

The first thing I would recommend is looking at your natural gifts. In some other articles I’ve given some exercises and such to find some of the core pieces of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you take some of those personality tests like the Meyers-Briggs or any others. The idea is that there are certain core aspects of ourselves that are never really going to change very much. For example, you like to work alone or as part of a team. You may be extremely introverted or extroverted. You may be incredibly musical or you may be very mathematical. Whatever the gifts and challenges you were born with are what they are. Recreating yourself isn’t about denying the root of who you are. It’s about molding and shaping the other things like attitude and such.

I wanted to become one of those people who had lots of self-confidence and was dynamic and bubbly. I wanted to be one of those people who could laugh out loud at a joke and not feel self-conscious that I might sound like a donkey – hee haaaaaw!! Along with picking a new career path that flattered my real skills and the lifestyle I wanted to move towards, I began pretending that I was one of those women who walked tall and proud. I pretended that people liked me and found me fascinating. I pretended that I had my act together. There came a day about a year later when I realized that I wasn’t faking it anymore. I’ve been quite a character ever since!

Now a word of warning… sometimes the people who knew us before we made all of the personal changes refuse to see us as new and improved. That’s especially true of family members. They knew you when you were a whiny kid. They knew you when you went through that really bad divorce and turned into a real nutcase. Sometimes they have their own ugly issues to work out and are bitter that you are role modeling positive changes. This is easier said then done, but believe me when I say this – It’s none of your business what they think of you. You didn’t change yourself so that they would like you better. You changed so that you would like you better. Hold your head up high and laugh out loud with confidence and joy. Don’t allow anyone to take your new life away from you.

Live On Purpose!

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By Lana Moline

It is never too late to try something different or finish something that you may have started years ago.  Life is a journey but on that journey is it so important to gain insight and tap into your purpose.  You were built a certain way for a number of reasons and inside of that lies the great impact you will have on the rest of the world.  It’s not enough to know how to do something or have an expertise in a field.  That’s great when we do but the job then begins when we consider how to take what we know and purposely set out to do something with it.

It is time for all of us to have a CEO mentality.  It doesn’t matter what field or industry you may work in, it is extremely important for each of us to remain innovative in our thinking of ways to create wealth.  Let’s face it, we have seen severe lows in unemployment in the last few years and many people with years of experience and even advanced degrees were out of work which reminds us that no one is immune to being faced with unemployment when  completely employed for someone other than yourself.

What I am suggesting is that each of us take inventory of the gifts and talents that we have, sit down and write a business plan and put yourself on the path to complete self-sufficiency in the creation of wealth.  Separate, in your mind, your current job and your purposed career unless of course they are one in the same.  So in other words keep your job at that book store or car dealership but everyday work towards creating something that is your own, something that you can pass on to your children.  I will share with you that I work in Social Services and I have for a couple of years but God ordained me to be an encouragement to others.  So I seek out opportunities to write and thrive on my job because in the workshops that I facilitate I make sure that I work my plan and sow a powerful seed of encouragement that I pray will take root.  My job adds fuel to my dream.  Do you see where I am going?  I do!

Make sure you live on purpose.  There is a genius inside of you and we are all in need of what you have share with us.  Remember, there is nothing wrong with employee of the month.  But, the CEO is the one who makes the rules.  Go for it!

Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.

Get You Some Sense Of Self In Your Relationship And In Your Life

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VIDEO: I have power like he has power, i have what he has in some areas more, i have a easy spirit, why does he like conflict and pick things to argue over which are irrelevent.  why does he have to go into my email and pick stuff that occured years prior, why do i have to tell him every move i make details? i dont do that to him if i have a question ill ask but im not evasive, why does he compair me to his ex wife or the mayor or other females and i dont do that to him but when i did about his abusive nature he said “thats not fair to compare me to them” but he does it. i just dont understand im loosing my intrest and my love and heart is gaurded at this time. part of my job is being in contact with these fellons, they have cerfews, electronic moniters, we have a job phone if my phone goes off to much he has issues but its part of my job. i was putting in information on the phone he thought i was texting and when i explained to him bu showing him what im doing he was like o okay, when they call to check in he wants me to put them on speaker so he can hear the conversation,  ive been with him for 3 years and dont have acess to his home i have to come when hes there but he will leave me there to lock up. but i gave him acess to my home 2 years in. i reside 2 hours from him but hes been to my house 3 times and ive been to his multiple.  its like im in a one way relationship. as long as he looks good and i can talk about the way he dressess with his golf hats but i dont because he thinks he looks good. i dont degrade him, but he does me often then most. my motto is if im with yoy im with you i dont have time for nonsense i wanst brought up that way. i came into this year with my dad and i left last years baggage in last year im ready to leave his baggage as well and start anew. im really getting tired. one time i even grabbed a knife to cut my arm to show him blood since thats what he seems he wanted to prove to him i love him.. its crazy.. why do i continually put myself in this

 

Smoking Stinks!

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By Lana Moline

I am so sick of walking through smoke clouds as I leave a building or having it seep to my car at the traffic light.  I’m a non-smoker by choice but I am continuously subjected, against my will, to second and third hand smoke and I didn’t even know about third hand smoke until now.  I have lost too many people to cancer caused by smoking until I am  over the top about avoiding it at all costs.  I don’t see the redeeming value in it and truly believe that it is just a pack of death and that’s not something that I am looking to purchase at the grocery store.

I sat down with a marketing representative for the American Lung Association Plans-Gulf Region to gain some insight on their programs and talk about spearheading an initiative.  That was the first time I heard the term, third hand smoke.  She explained that third hand smoke is much like second hand smoke in that non-smokers are exposed to nicotine inhalation and all it’s risks.  Third hand smoke is the residual smell of nicotine on surfaces, in rooms or on people.  Here’s what that looks like:  sitting next to a heavy smoker some time after they have smoked, entering a room after occupants have smoked or obtaining an object that has been in possession of a smoker.  In all of those instances, the smell of nicotine may continue to remain strong.  It’s a tough cookie because over time it gets stronger and will resist normal cleaning.  That’s why clothes, furniture and cars of heavy smokers all continue to smell like smoke.

The thing that bothers me the most about this is just like second hand smoke, those of us who are exposed in this way run the risk of potential health problems.  For that I say – “It Stinks!”  Smoking stinks in general.  The effects of smoking stink.  The impact of loosing a loved one to lung cancer stinks and all of the money that is wasted by supporting such an unhealthy habit stinks.  There are so many other options to relaxing so don’t let that be an excuse to continue.  If you want to breathe clean air and live a long time, join me in preserving health by non-apologetically sharing that “SMOKING STINKS!”

 Lana Moline is an integral part of the Blackloveandmarriage.com writing team, freelance writer and poet who lives in Ft. Worth with her three kids and husband Emile. Married 11 years, both media professionals have vowed to maintain integrity in all aspects of print and broadcast journalism.Visit her atLana Moline Speaks.

7 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Put Your Self Esteem In Someone Else’s Hands

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By Skye Thomas

We’ve all heard wonderful heartwarming stories of the underdog winning the day because someone else believed in them so much that they were able to overcome their own self-doubt in order to go the extra mile and succeed at some goal or dream they had been putting off. Those stories are beautiful and inspirational, however in reality they are also few and far between. I would never advocate turning a cheerleader’s love and support away, but I do think you’re foolish if you sit around waiting for someone else to encourage, uplift, and inspire you towards your greatest moments. The reasons why are as follows:

1. Most people are too self-obsessed. We often tell ourselves that if only someone would notice how gifted we are, then we would feel more confident about sharing those gifts. The fact that nobody has noticed yet does not mean that you do not have gifts, nor does it mean that the world would not benefit from you sharing them. It just means that they are not paying attention to the small less obvious details of what you are capable of offering.

2. Most people are not properly trained in mental health issues. If you are suffering from extremely low self-esteem, most of the people in your immediate family and social circles will not be equipped with the proper know-how needed to get you to see what gifts you do have to offer. Sometimes it takes more than a good friend or a self-help book to get you past whatever traumas and dramas that caused you to lose your self-confidence in the first place.

3. Misery loves company. Most of the time, you will find that if you try to talk to someone about your low self-worth, they will simply commiserate with you rather than get you to turn your opinion of yourself around. The next thing you know, you are both crying in your beer together about what losers you’ve turned out to be. Once in awhile, both people will agree to cheer each other on to higher levels of accomplishment, but not usually.

4. Envy can cause people to try to hold others back. We all know that those green eyes of jealousy turn up whether we like it or not. There are plenty of insecure and less talented people who would rather not see you succeed because then their own failures become all too obvious to them. As long as you are just some random nobody, then they can feel better about being a random nobody too.

5. Control and domination is another factor that keeps people from encouraging us. Many dysfunctional families will sabotage each other in order to make sure that nobody breaks free from the chains of hell that the family has agreed to. The more abusive the family dynamic the more likely they are to do whatever it takes to stop you from even recognizing your talents. Unless you are going to get rich from your talent and they are going to use you for your money, they often will not encourage you whatsoever. If anything, they will hammer you with more negativity than the situation warrants until they convince you to give up altogether.

6. Assumed biases are often used to discount our cheerleaders’ belief in us. How many mothers have told their teenagers that they were extremely talented only to have their encourage ignored because it’s assumed that the mother is simply prejudiced and that her opinion doesn’t really count? This is a common event among close friends and family. We simply assume that they are just saying nice things because they love us and that they really don’t mean it or they are not qualified to make a proper assessment of our level of talent.

7. Passion is not as transferable as we would like it to be. You can have an entire auditorium full of people clapping, cheering, and stomping in excitement because they believe that you are capable of putting on a great show to entertain them, but that does not necessarily mean that their passion for your music is going to register within your heart and soul. You may simply feel that you are being pressured into something you are not ready for. Somewhere deep down inside of you there has to be the belief that yes you can do this otherwise all of the cheerleaders in the world are not going to change the situation.

The truth is that as wonderful as our cheerleaders are, they cannot give us self-esteem. It is called self-esteem, not other-esteem, spouse-esteem, parental-esteem, or friend-esteem. Nobody can hand it to you or tell you where to find it. You have to build it, earn it, create it, and nurture it from somewhere inside of yourself. A teacher handing a blue ribbon to a child just for showing up is not going to give that child real self-esteem and the same goes for adults. Regardless of your age, gender, educational background or whatever, you will have to start with baby steps and work your way up the esteem ladder. With each little accomplishment, you add another layer of can-do-attitude. Cheerleaders are a blessing but they are not the real source of self-esteem.

If you know deep down in your soul that you have a hidden undeveloped talent calling at your heart, then it’s up to you to bring that gift to the surface. You are the one who will have to study, practice, and hone your craft. You are the one who will have to face competitors, naysayers, and critics. You are the one who has to climb and fight your way to the top of your industry. You are the one who is making a name for yourself. It’s your gift, not theirs. It’s your self-esteem, not theirs. Don’t give your personal power away and don’t expect others to simply hand it to you either.

Skye Thomas is the CEO of Tomorrow’s Edge, an Internet leader in inspiring leaps of faith. Her books, articles, and astrological forecasts have inspired people of all ages and faiths to recommit themselves to the pursuit of happiness. To read more of her articles, free previews of her books, go to www.TomorrowsEdge.com. To read more about Skye and to sign up to receive her free weekly newsletter, go towww.SkyeThomas.com.

How Comfortable Does Your Triple “D” Feel?

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VIDEO: Damn near everybody comes into their relationship with baggage.  Some folks are so buried beneath their baggage they look to the relationship to rescue them…to provide a life line. The danger in relying on your relationship to “save” you is that you displace the responsibility to change on the relationship and consequentially assign more weight and value to the relationship or another person than you do to yourself.  This displaced responsibility has many people entering into relationships they shouldn’t be in and staying in relationships way too long than they need to.  This displaced responsibility has a whole helluva lot of people DELUSIONAL, DISMISSED, and DISHONEST and it’s time to wake the hell up.

If you wanna take your life and your relationship to the next level…..HIT US UP…ANYTIME!

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Things Are Good Because I Say They Are

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By Skye Thomas

The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and dreams reminds me of the childhood story, The Velveteen Rabbit. The boy loves the toy so much that a magic fairy comes and turns the toy bunny into a real rabbit. She tells the bunny it has been loved so much that it has earned the right to be real.

Wouldn’t it be great if all we had to do was to love our dreams and fantasies until a magic fairy came, and poof, our dreams were real? How many of us would forget to love our dreams enough? Would they be lost under the bed like some long ago childhood toy? What if it really was that simple?

Years ago, I was a single mom with two small children. Both were still in diapers. We were on welfare and getting help with housing assistance. I had $335 each month to support a family of three. There was no husband, no boyfriend, no child support and no reason to believe any of those things were every coming near me. My friends were all happily married and most did not even have children yet. I was struggling to come up with money to buy diapers and they were buying boats and campers and going on long vacations. I was very frightened and alone. I had no family around to help me out of my situation and my childhood friends were all too busy with their new lives to be of much help to me. They all had careers and their families and new in-laws to hang out with. They loved me, but often forgot to even check on my kids and me.

I spent a lot of time alone while my babies were sleeping or playing together. I realized how sad my children’s lives would be. They were being raised by a sad lonely depressed welfare mom. I could not do that to them. I could not afford to get counseling, so I went to the library to research “happiness.” I began to read everything I could get my hands on. I did not want my kids to grow up secluded, scared, and depressed like me. My research lead me to books on religion, romance, parenting, spirituality, everything.

After a few months, I realized I was reading the same message over and over again. It did not matter what topic I was reading, it always came down to attitude. What I believe is what I will see. What I see is what I live. That is when I wrote my life’s mantra: Things are good, because I say they are.

I wrote it on a half sized sheet of my nicest pink paper with my favorite purple pen and taped it to my bathroom mirror. I saw it many times each day. Every time I brushed my teeth it was there. “Things are good, because I say they are.” Every time I washed my hands, “Things are good, because I say they are.” Every time I put on makeup or brushed my hair, “Things are good, because I say they are.” It began to work it’s magic on me.

I decided to fake it and act like I was happy. I made a rule… from then on, I would only tell people the good things in my life. I would no longer tell them how many bill collectors called that day or that my three year old was probably never going to be potty trained. I was not in denial. I simply wanted to practice this positive attitude stuff I had read so much about. Would it really change my life? I doubted it, but I was going to at least give it an honest try.

Whenever someone asked me “How are things going?” I would remember my little statement and tell them, “Things are good!” I would make myself find positive stories about my life to tell them. I owe my children a great debt of gratitude for providing me with something to smile at every day of their lives. Never has a day gone by since they were born have they not at the very minimum made me smile if not fully laugh out loud.

The only positive things I had to tell were funny stories about my two kids. People may have gotten tired of always hearing about my babies, but that was all I had for examples. “Things are good! My son is finally potty trained!” “Things are good! My daughter did the funniest little dance the other day! It went something like this…” They all thought I was this good little mom who was obsessed with her kids. The truth is, I had nothing positive to say about myself.

I cannot tell you when the exact moment was, but about a year later, I realized that I was not faking it anymore. Things really were good. I had proven the theory “fake it until it’s real.” I had gone back to work and was learning a new career. My kids were in a wonderful safe environment while I was at work. They loved their daycare center. My career was worth talking about. I joined a local gym and started working out every day. My kids loved the playroom there and were thrilled with going straight from daycare to the playroom at the gym. They hadn’t suffered because I had taken care of my own happiness.

We had a lot less time together during the week, but everyone was very happy. Our weekends became our time for adventures. I started dating again. I had fixed my credit to the point that I was able to buy a new car without a cosigner. When people asked me, “How’s it going?” I actually had something besides my kids to talk about. Things WERE good, because I SAID they were. That magic fairy must have made it real when I wasn’t looking.

Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to spirituality, motivation, and inspiration in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, motivation, and parenting. More of her articles can be found at www.tomorrowsedge.net as well as free previews of her books. 
skye@tomorrowsedge.net