An OBAMA “Love Story”

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[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPYMaF2vAmg’]

The commitment they have…the connection they show..the children they’ve created…the confidence they exude…the charisma they own……makes you think…..COMPLETE.

Landmark Legislation Legalizes Marriage For Same Sex Couples..What Do You Think?

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By Team BLAM

If you turn on your T.V. set, look in your newspaper, or go online today you’ll be flooded with cheers and jeers regarding the landmark legislation that was passed shortly before midnight making New York the 6th and largest state to legalize gay marriage.  WOW…this is big!  The legal and social implications of such ruling will have a ripple effect.  Whether you agree or disagree both you and your children will be impacted.  So we’re curious BLAM Fam….how do you feel about gay marriage being legalized?  In case you’re confused about this whole thing…below are arguments (from about.com) by both supporters and opponents of gay marriage.  Check them out and chime in and let us know whether you’re for or against gay marriage….and why.

Supporters of Same Sex Marriage – What is Their Case?

What arguement do supporters use in their fight to legalize same sex marriages? Here are some points in their platform.

  • The right to marry is a fundemental right protected by the United States Constitution.
  • The traditional definition of marriage is a union between two people of the opposite sex. Supporters insist the definition can’t be allowed to be a basis for discrimination.
  • Without the legal right to marriage, same sex couples lose their right to health care coverage, family leave, child custody protections, tax protections, inheritance protections, and pension plan options.
  • Civil marriages and religious marriages are not the same. Therefore morality and religious arguements against same sex marriages are flawed and should have no standing.
  • Permitting legal same sex marriages will not force any religion to perform such ceremonies against their beliefs, doctrine, or morals.

But what about those who strongly oppose same sex marriages or unions. They feel their case is just as compelling. Here are the points they make.

Opponents of Same Sex Marriages – What is Their Case?

The opposition’s argument against same sex marriage is primarily based in religion, and the interpretation of what is moral and immoral. Cultural norms also play a role in the following points.

  • Biblically, marriage has been cited as a union between a man and woman and in such a union procreation must not be ruled out. In other words, religion says a man and a woman get married and have children. Same sex couples can’t fulfill that expectation and therefore should not be permitted.
  • The natural difference between man and woman, including sexual differences, is what draws them together and forms the basis of their relationship. Without those differences, a committed relationship can not occur.
  • Scientifically, marriage between a male and a female is the natural order of life.
  • Many religious figures view homsexuality as a sin and therefore any union based on such a relationship is also deemed sinful.
  • Some religious leaders believe that allowing same sex marriages or unions will somehow undermine the traditional family unit, the foundation for many religious communities.
  • Others feel that the gay community can’t be allowed to redefine marriage and the family unit to suit their own needs.

BLAM Fam what do you think?

Spoken Word Video: “Relationship Management”–One Of The Most Moving Pieces You Will Ever Hear In Your Life

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VIDEO: This is hands down one of the most passionate, moving, and on point spoken word pieces we have ever heard in our lives. Yeah, you read that right…..IN OUR LIVES. In this piece Marcus Jones challenges and inspires us all to step up our game BIG TIME when it comes to what we demand for ourselves and our relationships. He calls this piece “Relationship Management” and there’s really nothing more we can say to convey the importance of his words. Just click play and be moved to think, feel, and DO better. Stop Playing. Start Pushing.

Nia Long & Ime Udoka Are Expecting A Baby!

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You may have heard by now, but if not Nia Long is expecting baby number two.

Of course, as soon as word got out that the veteran actress was with child folks were quick to quip back in response, “Who the daddy?” Well, it’s a NBA basketball player.

Nia Long confirmed such in a statement to People magazine. She says the father is professional basketball player Ime Udoka. Udoka was born in Portland and has played for the Los Angeles Lakers (four games), the New York Knicks (eight games), Portland Trailblazers (75 games), and the San Antonio Spurs (20 games).

The couple wrote to People:

“This is the most exciting time in our lives. Words can’t explain how thrilled we are by the new addition to our family. We feel truly blessed and appreciate all the well wishes and prayers.”

The couple expects their new child in the fall. It will be the second for Long and first for Udoka.

RADIO: BLAM’s Aiyana Ma’at, Michael Baisden, & G. Dub Rap About How Marriage Is For Grown Folks

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RADIO INTERVIEW: Do people really know what they’re getting into when they take that life changing walk down the aisle? This is the question that Michael Baisden, George Wilborn, & Aiyana Ma’at attempt to answer in this interview where they discuss an article written by Aiyana: “Marriage Is For Grown Folks”. Sit back, listen & as always let us know what you think.

Reflections On Fatherhood

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A couple of weeks ago my wife and I visited some friends in Atlanta.  During that trip something occurred

VIDEO: The FAILED Proposal–When A Woman’s Self-Worth Trumps Her Desire To Be Married

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By Team BLAM

VIDEO: Marriage is a beautiful thing. Marriage is a wonderful thing. In fact, we believe marriage is an essential weapon for black folks to use against the epidemics of poverty, homelessness, crime, and poor education in our community. Simply put, marriage rocks.

However, we never want you to get our fundamental bottom line message twisted— more than anything we are advocates for healthy relationships.

How many of us know that there are a whole lot of people out here who are married in title only. They are doing anything and everything but acting like they are married. They are focused on themselves and not each other. They were invested in the wedding day and couldn’t give a damn about the actual marriage. A great deal of folks just didn’t know what this marriage thing was all about in the first place–so they eagerly got married but were ill-equipped to handle the responsibilities that come with being married.

So, again marriage is wonderful—but healthy relationships are where it’s really at. Relationships where the two people involved are serious about doing the personal work to be the best they can for themselves and each other.

Far too often we see folks (women more often than men) who are desperate and I mean DESPERATE to have somebody they can call “husband” that they will ignore all the warning signs, pretend that requirements have been met that never were, excuse behaviors that are a No-No, and basically drop their expectations because they just want to be married.

Well,  the lesson of the day? DON’T DO THAT WOMEN!!! VALUE yourself. LOVE yourself. RESPECT yourself. SET STANDARDS for yourself. PROTECT yourself. BE HONEST with yourself. Marriage is serious business–for grown folks only and grown folks know how to make the difficult decision to walk away when necessary. Hats off to this sista who had the courage despite all of the pressure to just say NO.

Word OF The Day: Commitment

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First let me begin by saying Happy Anniversary to Steven Anthony King and his wife Tina. They are the creators of the fabulous Complete Chocolate Couples, Inc.  Aiyana and I wish you love and light as you continue to travel on this journey called life.  We appreciate your commitment to the Complete Chocolate Couples Movement and we thank you for inspiring folks to dig deep as they step into a greater understanding of matrimony.

By Steven Anthony King

Word of the Day:  “Commitment”…. “Individual commitment to a group effort…that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work”. – Vince Lombardi

“For better or for worse”???

In today’s society, it’s all too common for people to enter into marriage with an “opt out” clause or better yet, a “when the going gets tough….I’m out” clause.  This mentality effectively nullifies the vow of….or commitment to “for better or for worse”.

We all dream of having that perfect marriage like Cliff and Clair Huxtable; but the reality is most marriages are not like that (at least right away).  Once the honeymoon wears off, marriage brings on a plethora of challenges that can be extremely taxing emotionally.  But when the commitment is solid there’s a comforting sense of confidence that “we” will get through it (whatever “it” may be).

Commitment, however takes a concentrated effort of mental conditioning.  You must first get rid of the reservation (if he or she does this or that then I’m out). From my own personal experience with past relationships, holding onto this type of reservation only weighed me down with fear based, negative anticipation.  I was unable to fully commit because I always had this sense of “impending doom” for the relationship.  It was like waiting for the right moment to jump into double-dutch ropes laced with razor blades.  I had a saboteur’s mentality and acted as such; my relationships were pretty much over from the start, it was just a matter of time.

In the four years that my wife and I have been married, life has gifted us with some serious, challenges; but because of our commitment to let no situation put asunder (or put us under); our marriage continues to grow stronger.

True commitment is rooted in love and “Love….always perseveres”!!!  (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Steven Anthony King is a certified relationship coach and the creator of Complete Chocolate Couples, Inc. Visit Complete Chocolate Couples on Facebook.


Can Your Marriage Survive Caring For Your Ailing Parent(s)?

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By Terrence Ferguson

Okay, I know what you’re thinking, here we go. I want you and your significant other to take an honest look at the older family members that you are close to. Has any one in your immediate or extended families thought about what is going to happen to your Moms, Dads, Grandmothers, Grandfathers, Aunt’s and Uncles? No, it may not be your responsibility, but the truth is, when an aging loved one needs care there is not a lot of time to plan and think about what your family is going to do next.

Have you or anyone else in your family talked to the seniors in your lives and asked them what they would like to see happen? Have you talked to your spouse to find out if living with you is an option? I’m telling you guys, plan for this stuff early. If you’re a single child and you think your parents may need help sooner than later, talk to your significant other and your parent(s) if they’re willing to talk. Get a plan in place, because you don’t want to have to make a quick decision when it comes to the care of your parent. People who have to make rash decisions when it comes to care, sometimes regret the decisions that they quickly made at some point in the future. If you think your parent may have to go to a facility, start looking at facilities now. If they have to come live with you, talk with your partner about how that will effect your relationship, and trust me, it will effect your relationship.

I know it may not sound right, but sometimes resentment creeps into the relationship, because you’re caring for one person’s parent, but not the other person. Sometimes there is an extra financial burden that was not anticipated. You may feel that it isn’t fair that you have to take care of a family member as well. You’re just starting to live your life, right? If your parents are eligible and can afford to pay for Long Term Care Insurance, look into it for them. They can choose the care they receive and it could save them hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars over their life time.

This is just a little food for thought. Our parents took care of us, so it’s only right that we help take care of them as they start to need assistance. So now what are you going to do? Are you going to wait to see how things progress over the years, or are you going to come up with a plan to save both you and your significant other / spouse some heartache in the future. I suggest the latter option.

Terrence Ferguson has had the privilege of helping to care for both of his parents and Terrence has also talked to many individuals about their own senior care issues. Terrence has learned a great deal in the last 20 years about senior care issues and he would love to help you find solutions to some of your problems as well. He is always open to helping people. There is no request to great or too small. Contact Terrence today at EmpowermentInKnowledge.com.

Terrence  is also a young man who has a strong thirst for knowledge. As a result of Terrence’s research and hard work he received full scholarships to both Norfolk State University (Undergraduate School) and The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (Graduate School). Overall, Terrence received over $100,000 in scholarship and internship money. There is still plenty of money available for college, for students who have applied themselves. Terrence would love to help you get into a college that is right for you and possibly find FREE money as well. He can also be contacted at tferguson@empowermentinknowledge.com