Fed Up With The Foolishness: Marriage Educator Is Tired Of His Wife’s Shenanigans

By Ayize Ma’at

I’m FED UP YALL!!!!! I’ve had enough!  I take great pride in running Black Love And Marriage.com and I respect the responsibility that’s attached to it.  I also appreciate the awesomeness of the impact we’re having on people’s relationships throughout the world. …. BUT…I’m tired yall.  I’m beginning to grow weary and sick of the process…..ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO WORK WITH MY WIFE…..watch and see what I’m talking about.

Woman Addicted To Her Pillow….Really?


Can we keep it real for a moment yall?  When we first saw this video we laughed.  Are you serious….a pillow in a shopping cart?  A pillow “sitting up” on a bench “watching you” while you’re at the park?  Really though?

However, we understand that addiction is real and can manifest in one’s life in a myriad of ways.  Usually addictions develop as a coping mechanism for buried and unresolved emotional entanglements that have one trapped and screaming for an escape.   

If this is a legitimate addiction she needs to be worked with to dig up the reason why she has such an intense attachment to her pillow.  What space was she in that led her to attempt to fill a void?  Why the pillow? How would she feel if her pillow were taken away?  Why? Is it really the pillow she’s addicted to or is it a feeling she experiences when she has the pillow that she wants to hold onto? These are just some of the many questions that could be asked to help this sista understand and hopefully overcome her addiction. 

Let’s go a step further. What’s your “theoretical pillow”? What is that thing, place, or person that you irrationally and senselessly hold onto?

At the end of the day it’s ultimately up to the person who’s addicted to overcome their addiction.  You have to want change more than you want to stay the same.   You have to decide you want change.  You have to move with focused urgency.  You have to stop playin’ and start pushin’.

Sleeping Baby Shot Dead In His Car Seat—How Did We Get Here?!?!

by Aiyana Ma’at As I sit here and type these words I struggle to hold back the tears so that I can see the computer screen. I cannot describe the hurt, pain, anger, and disgust that I feel in my heart right now. 20 month old Rashad Walker Jr. was killed while sleeping in his car seat in the back seat of his mother’s minivan this past Sunday, November 28, 2010 at 4:30pm. He was shot with up to 10 bullets. Witnesses say the target was the child’s 19 year old father. Why? Why? This innocent baby didn’t do anything. He didn’t deserve this. This is crazy! As a mother of 4 young children  my heart hurts as I imagine what this mother must be going through. One minute all is well and the next minute your child is snatched from you.  Only God can truly heal the hole that has been left in this family’s heart….only God.

I am outraged! And, what really gets me heated is that I don’t have to listen to the news or read any article to know that this senseless murder was caused by some foolish folks in the community who, more often than not, look like me—a young black person who’s more than misguided & doesn’t realize that he (or she) is killing himself. The reality is that we’ve got to save our children—victims and perpetrators alike. I shudder to think about something like this happening to one of my children. I would LOSE MY MIND and the phrase “an eye for an eye” would take on brand new meaning. I need a word today ya’ll cause’ I’m mad as hell. Here’s an excerpt from an article that Dr. Boyce Watkins, a regular contributor on Black Voices.com, wrote about this horrible tragedy:

Excerpt From Black Voices.com

The story of Rashad Walker is clearly one of the most tragic incidents we’ve read about all year. It takes us back to the police shooting of Aiyana Jones, the 7-year old in Detroit who was shot while sleeping during a police raid. This story is also personal to me because I live in Syracuse, a city that (like so many others) continues to be plagued by gun violence.

Events like this emphasize the importance of community policing and helping officers to apprehend those who are responsible for creating this kind of pain in our communities. Also, these incidents tell us that we’ve got to do something to slow down the gun violence in America’s cities. The weapons that are killing our children should be taken off the streets.

Another thing about Syracuse, as well as many other urban areas around the nation, is that the educational system is plagued with significant inadequacies. There are not enough activities to keep young people off the streets, and there are few, if any, jobs available for inner-city youth. Such dire conditions breed the kind of hopelessness which leads to violent incidents like this one.

The criminal justice system serves to make matters worse by showing an insatiable willingness to abuse and incarcerate defendants rather than rehabilitate them. By removing so many Fathers from the inner city, we have children who grow up to become either victims or perpetrators of violent crime. This cycle has got to stop.

B Intentional Family, What can we do to lift our communities out of this senseless space of self-destruction? Everyone (including me and you) is accountable.

CLICK HERE for more details on this tragic story.

VIDEO:Postal Worker Catches Customer’s Racist Rant. Says Black Women Are Against Black Men.

VIDEO: Things got ugly when a black mail carrier refused to take back a certified letter he delivered (and she signed for) to a lady in Hingham, Mass. She went on a racist rant and he secretly taped it all on his cell phone. In her ridiculously bigoted spew she threw this in: “Black women are against the black man because they’ve been exploited so much…they’re with the white people…they work against black men underneath it all”. Whoaa! What the hell?! Needless to say I was hot and pissed off after I watched this lady not only disrespect and degrade this black man but also have the nerve  to say that black women are against black men and….hold up–let me not continue to vent here—just check out the video below of this mentally disturbed lady and leave a comment with your thoughts. WARNING: This video contains some profanity & racial slurs and is highly offensive so get your mind right.

Black Voices reported on this as well Here’s an excerpt below:

The overwhelming number of comments on this Youtube clip from people who actually said that the postal worker provoked her by not leaving when she started to go crazy, or said that he should have forsaken his responsibilities as a postal officer and given her the mail back are examples of the kind of denial that allows racism to continue generationally.

What’s particularly interesting is at 2:36 when she actually tries to turn it around to show that SHE is the victim here. She says: “I’m not hurting you, you’re hurting me. I’m standing out in the cold, I’m wet with my socks on,” after she has assaulted him, by slapping him, for being painfully polite and just doing his job.

That’s right, she even goes as far as to slap him. Yes, I said she slapped him. For those that didn’t hear: she SLAPPED him. Wow.

This story would be all s**ts and giggles, and ‘hey look at the crazy lady’ if it weren’t for the fact that the postal worker was FIRED in this scenario. Yeah, I had to read that again myself.

Apparently, the laws in her state say that you cannot record someone surreptitiously. She meanwhile is a free as a bird, as no trial was set for her. And there’s probably a s**tload of mail for her clogging up space at the local post office.

To read the full article on Black Voices, CLICK HERE.

Thoughts anyone?

Lil Wayne……Have You Lost Your Mind?

VIDEO: Do you remember the song back in the day….”Guard Your Grill, Knuckle Up”?….Yeah, in today’s world you gotta…”Guard Your Mind And Armor Up”! We are so serious…there are so many songs on the radio that promote lifestyles that have dire consequences for our community. The song “I’m Single” by Lil Wayne is an example. Can you imagine what the world look like if every married person that got into an argument said “I’m Single Tonight”? Well, we ain’t too far from it  because we are embracing and passively accepting messages like the one promoted in this song. As a community we need more positive images of black marriage. Don’t fall victim to the mentality of this song…Please stand up and represent.

“I’m Single”/Lil Wayne Lyrics

WARNING: This song contains very explicit lyrics so get your mind right. This is the type of hype (yeah, that’s what it is…straight up hype) that we guard our subconscious minds from as much as we can. We air this Ridiculous Foolishness not to glorify but rather to illuminate and bring to the forefront of our awareness the fact that destructive messages about how to manage conflict in a marriage are being promoted all the time.  The Ma’at’s say “Boooo!”

Husband & Wife (Ayize & Aiyana) Bloopers Part 1

VIDEO: Have a deep belly laugh with these B Intentional Bloopers. We’re switching it up today by taking you behind the scenes of our “Ask The Ma’at’s” video shows. A couple of cuss words slip, a few  eyes are rolled, and a few “are you serious?” stares are given. We may not be perfect but we’re perfect for each other! Underneath it all is love. Deeply rooted love for each other….and a passion to share it with YOU.  🙂 Leave a comment or submit a video response with what you think!

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Why Do Black Men Harass Black Women In The Street?

VIDEO: “I am sick and tired of Black men cat calling, asking if they can walk with me, calling me shorty and disrespecting me in the street. Black men shut your pie holes before I pull your du-rag over your eyes! Other sistas have complained about this. Black men, stop acting like baboons in the street and leave Black women alone!”

These are the words of the author of this video…pretty disturbing. Disturbing on many levels. Please be advised that the video that follows is adult material, contains profanity, and is raw and to the point. On one hand we are disturbed by some of the words the author uses to describe black men and this particular behavior. On the other hand there is truth that exists in the author’s words. I (Aiyana) have experienced situations similar to this back in the day but it would be a stretch to say that the brothas trying to holler at me were men…they were clearly boys. Take a look and tell us what you think….