Having Sex After The Affair Is Hard But There Are Ways To Make It Work

 

fter an affair, deciding to stay together may be one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make. You have decided to listen to your heart and not to any of your well meaning friends or relatives who may be telling you to leave. You both want to work on your relationship and are committed to a new monogamy, together. 3 Ways To Have Honeymoon Sex Tonight EXPERT

So what’s next? A new sex life — with each other. You may realize by now that your sex life prior to the affair was a point of conflict, either you weren’t having enough of it or one of you was more satisfied than the other. Moving forward in a new relationship with each other means that your erotic recovery will be key to your new monogamy.

Remember, your erotic relationship is the thing that separates you from being merely roommates. In order to move forward into a new romantic relationship together, this part of your relationship will take on a new level of importance for both of you.

Did You Miss The Ma’at’s Working With The Newlywed Couple On The Dr. Drew Show? Check It Out Here.

By Team BLAM

Well, yesterday a show we flew out to LA to tape with Dr. Drew Pinsky aired and we are just so happy  to have had the opportunity to work with this couple. Any time anyone lets us into their private lives we regard that as “sacred space” and a privilege. What millions of people saw on the show was just the beginning. It’s what Thomas & Shaniquea do at home that counts the most and we are confident in their ability to go to the next level. They were so open and willing! Those are 2 of the very first ingredients you need to turn your relationship around—an open mind and a willing heart.

Check out the clips below and please SHARE, SHARE, SHARE. Put these videos on your FB page, tweet them out, share this post or forward to your friends and family. We need for these to get views so that the message that is sent is CLEAR– WE LIKE TO SEE BLACK FOLKS MAKING POSITIVE MOVES AND WORKING ON THEIR STUFF! Support what you want to see more of! 😉

Love Yall Family!

Join Us Tonight, Feb.23rd @ 7pm For The Greater Washington Urban League’s Black Love & Relationships Series

By Team BLAM

We are so looking forward to getting out tonight (any time away from our beautiful children is a date night as far as I’m concerned…even when we’re working…lol!) and connecting with all of the powerful and professional young black professionals of the Greater Washington Urban League’s “Thursday Network”. We will be a part of a panel discussing love, relationships, and the power of connecting.

We did a presentation for them last year on how to more effectively balance work and love and they were such an awesome group. They asked the hard questions, gave insightful opinions, and cracked a few jokes too. All in all, we had a ball. If you’re in the Washington, DC metropolitan area you should come on out. It will be fun! We’d love to meet you!

Check out the details below:

Join Thursday Network on February 23rd for the return of our” Black Love & Relationships” series at the Greater Washington Urban League Headquarters as we explore the “Connections” between us.

 

What does my partner really want and need from me and how do I provide it? How do I appropriately approach someone I’m interested in? What is a love language and what does it mean for my love life? Is there a disconnect between men and women today? How do we overcome that and find true happiness? Will I find “The One” through online dating?

 

Our panel of relationship experts will provide answers to these questions and more as we bridge gaps and learn to connect with one another!

 

This event is free and open to the public.

 

DATE

Thursday, February 23rd, 2012

 

TIME

6:45 PM

 

LOCATION

Greater Washington Urban League Headquarters

2901 14th St., NW

Washington, DC 20009

 

METRORAIL

Columbia Heights – Green & Yellow lines

 

For more information, contact ppd@thursdaynetwork.org

What’s Up Yall,

Forgive our bluntness, but the fact that you’re on this page at this point in time tells us that you’re probably  having issues communicating effectively with your partner and you WANT to solve this problem fast. WE can help.

We don’t want to waste your time and bore you with a long sales letter. So, let’s get down to the point.

We KNOW how to solve your problem of not being heard, validated or respected in your relationship because we have been in your shoes before.

While we were stressed out and bumping heads over insignificant and serious stuff , we remained connected and began doing research on  PRACTICAL and FEASIBLE solutions of how to be more present and communicate better in our relationship.

We were committed to making a change in our relationship so we went beyond our traditional professional training & just studying books, we applied what we learned to our relationship and as a result we are more in love and closer than we have ever been in 18 years.  We don’t just preach it…we practice what we preach and our relationship is a direct reflection of that.

We want to share what we’ve learned with you so we’ve decided to piece together a 1 hr + audio program comprised of practical strategies and methods that WORK. These are real questions from real people with honest and evidence based feedback from us so that folks like us (such as you and your partner) who have real life communication problems can really solve them once and for all.  We know what it’s like to be where you are AND We know we can help.

LIVE LOVE RIGHT

Real Questions. Real Answers. Real Talk on COMMUNICATION

Inside this audio program, you’ll discover and learn PROVEN methods that work (We know because we’ve tried and tested them, remember):

  • How to identify and meet your partners unmet need.
  • Essential strategies for effective listening.
  • Questions you can ask to increase your intimacy.
  • How to “hold on” when you are ready to “throw in the towel”
  • How to overcome the “silent treatment” and rekindle your connection.
  • Real talk from a Husband & Wife professional coaching team.

So go ahead and Click the Buy Now button below now to get inspired and learn how to RADICALLY transform your relationship by communicating more SINCERELY & COMPASSIONATELY with your Sweetheart.

$ 14.97
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– I thank you so much for creating this.  Once again you’ve opened my mind to understand things differently; you’ve opened my eyes to see my spouse differently; and you’ve opened my heart so that I can experience love differently.  Thank you

Nia R.

 

Sincerely,

Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at

*Note*   If you DO NOT receive the Live Love Right audio program via email after purchase PLEASE check your spam folder.  If the program is not in your spam folder please notify us via email ( info@bintentional.com) so we can so we can see to it that you promptly receive your purchase.  Thank you .

Oh My God…Whitney Houston Is Dead At 48.

By Team BLAM

I’m in shock right now….I cannot believe what my husband just told me. Whitney Houston is what? Did he say dead??? Oh My God. She is definitely a person I grew up admiring and wanting to be like. Who didn’t love Whitney back in the day? I am in utter shock. Following is the report from CNN. Rest in sweet peace Whitney Houston.

(CNN) — Legendary pop singer Whitney Houston has died at age 48, her representative Kristen Foster said Saturday night.

The cause of death and where she died were not immediately known.

According to her official website, Houston sold more than 170 million albums, singles and videos over her career.

Houston was set to appear in this year’s “Sparkle,” a remake of the 1976 hit, which was loosely based on the story of The Supremes. It was her first movie role since 1996’s “The Preacher’s Wife.”

Her body of work includes seven straight Billboard No. 1 hits in the 1980s, including “Saving All My Love for You,” “Greatest Love of All” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go.” Billboard puts her soundtrack to the movie “The Bodyguard” as one of the top 10 biggest-selling albums of all time.

The daughter of singer Cissy Houston, Whitney was born on August 9, 1963, in Newark, New Jersey. Famed music producer Clive Davis reportedly spotted Houston 20 years later in a New York nightclub, signing her on the spot, according to her website.

In May 2011, Houston got help for her much-publicized struggle with drugs and alcohol, her representative said at the time.

Join Us As We Gear Up To GET GRATEFUL! The Gratitude Challenge Starts Tomorrow Feb. 5th!

By Aiyana Ma’at

When I first started thinking about writing this post, it made me pause for a second. I didn’t want to use the word gratitude. I feel like sometimes we get so used to seeing and hearing certain words that they they lose the impact that they were intended to have. The word or the phrase kinda becomes cliche. We see it or hear it and it rolls right off of us. Gratitude is one of those words.

We think we get it but we really don’t. We nod our heads when we hear it talked about in church or in a meeting of some sort, but then we don’t actually practice it–and I mean practice it day in and day out. Really live it. Study the art of being grateful. Investigate  the effects it has had on people in history. Document the real life changes and blessings we see and feel in our lives when we are laser focused on being thankful and content.

Next week, we will kick off a week long focus on the powerful impact Gratitude can have in our lives and what it can do for our own peace of mind, our relationships, our marriages, our children, our workplace, our personal progress, and ultimately our world.

Get ready. This will be an experiment of sorts. We will have different Gratitude challenges and we will all need to take a few minutes each day to carry them out and write down our results and how we see the effects showing up in our homes and everywhere we go. It will be powerful. I can assure you of that. We will definitely be looking to hear from you and learn from your experience.

If being grateful makes sense to you but  you’ve never really concentrated on it and focused in on what you truly have to be grateful for—this challenge is for you. If you know about the mind altering, atmosphere  changing, life giving effects of being grateful—this challenge is for you. It’s for everyone you know.

Spread the word and get your mind right. 😉 Tomorrow, Feb. 5th is the day we officially begin and we want you, your spouse or significant other, your children, your momma n’em—everybody to be amazed at their own blessings. It’s one thing to be thankful. It’s an entirely different thing to live intentionally with it and breathe it in and breathe it out for a concentrated amount of time.

We’re excited over here! Let’s get a little head start right now by sharing what you are grateful for in this moment. I’ll begin.

“I am grateful for the areas in my life that get on my last nerve and still cause me discomfort and pain—I know that without these issues I wouldn’t be who I am today and I wouldn’t get the chance to be who I will be tomorrow. I am a work in progress and I AM GRATEFUL to have the insight to know that all of my “stuff” is really a blessing in disguise helping me to become all that God created me to be”

Now, what about you?

Sometimes one straight cocktail filled with the highest premium liquor just isn’t enough and for this version of Cocktails for Grown Folks the Divas are going to pour a double shot for this one. Here’s the cocktail we desired this week, you make it a double if you want!

Happy Friday!

VIDEO: New Honda Commercial Reinforces Same Ol’ Message About Marriage. Check It Out.

By Aiyana Ma’at

Yesterday day I was sitting on the couch with my hubby and this commercial came on advertising the new Honda CR-V. My husband was like “Oh yeah, look at this commercial baby”. “The message is messed up”. So, I looked at it and came to the same conclusion that my husband did.

If we’re not careful we (meaning you , me–all of us) can very easily absorb all of the subliminal and not so hidden messages all around us that say:

Marriage is too hard.

Marriage is boring.

Marriage will diminish my dreams.

Marriage will require me to give up my true self.

Marriage means a less exciting life.

Marriage means I have to “grow up” and give up my childhood fantasies and desires.

Marriage means I need to make sure I complete my bucket list before I commit because there is no room for that when you’re married.

But, we want to remind and reinforce to you today what we know to be true cause’ we live it every day:

Marriage is as hard as you make it and there ain’t nothing worth having that’s not worth working hard for.

Marriage is an adventure.

Marriage magnifies your dreams and multiplies your possibilities.

Marriage helps you to give birth to a “you” you never thought possible. You don’t have to give up who you are–you get to be even better.

Marriage is a thrill! It’s so great to have a “partner in crime” to ride the roller coaster of life with.

One of the best parts of marriage is having a friend that truly knows you, loves you, and can hang out with you. Need a movie partner, someone to go with you to the office party you don’t want to go to alone, or someone to confide your childhood  dreams to–marriage to someone worthy will give it to you.

As for checking off items on your bucket list? You get to combine them together and cheer each other on as you fulfill your destiny’s one dream at a time.

Simply put–#MARRIAGEROCKS!

STOP PLAYING. START PUSHING.

Doing BIG Things In The Name Of Love! BlackLoveAndMarriage.com Announces Star Writing Team In 2012!

By Team BLAM

Okay, we are soooo excited and we’re excited…and did I say we are hype up in here!!!? We have been building and talking behind the scenes for quite some time now. BLAM has been growing by leaps and bounds with more and more people visiting our site every single month. We knew it was time to expand our team in a very concrete and official way and the movement that is BlackLoveAnMarriage.com was provided with exactly what was needed in the form of 6 fierce writers who will stop at nothing to get you to Stop Playing & Start Pushing!

At BlackLoveAndMarriage.com we value REAL LOVE, REAL TALK, & REAL GROWTH AND CHANGE! Every single one of us holds these values close to our heart and take what we do here at BLAM seriously. We are thrilled to have such gifted and prolific writers on our team. Trust us-they are on a mission.

So, what is the writing team’s mission?

Simple. To help people increase their self-awareness and overcome life’s obstacles by challenging us to look within, tell the truth and commit to change.

Through each of us doing our part, we will transform the image and quality of relationships in the African-American community and the nation one commitment at a time!

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHO’S WHO & LEARN MORE ABOUT THE TEAM!

Individual & Couples Coaching With Ayize & Aiyana Ma’at MSW LCSW-C

Congratulations on taking the step to learn more about Individual & Couples Coaching / Counseling. Anything worth having is worth working hard at and working hard for so I commend you on taking this monumental step in your life’s journey. We look forward to working with you and the possibilities that lay ahead for you and/or your relationship. 🙂

 INDIVIDUAL COACHING/COUNSELING WITH AYIZE & AIYANA MA’AT MSW, LCSW-C

Do you feel stuck or immobilized by fear and need an accountability partner to help you reach your goals?

Do you “know better” but can’t seem to “do better” in certain areas of your life?

Do you need a boost of motivation, positive support, and a concrete plan to create the life you want to live?

Do you want someone to talk to ….a friendly, non-judgemental ear that listens?

WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU!

COUPLES COACHING / COUNSELING WITH AYIZE & AIYANA MA’AT MSW, LCSW-C

Do you feel like you and your partner NEVER see eye to eye?

Are you in a passionless relationship and desperately want that fire & desire back?

Do you feel like you are the ONLY ONE THAT CARES about your marriage?

Do you feel like your relationship is good and you want a “love boost” to make it even Mo’ Better?

 WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU!

These are just some of the many issues we’ve helped individuals and couples work through and we are more than willing to help you.  We will work with you on WHATEVER area you need help on.  We are here to serve you.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW TO GET STARTED:

Simply fill out the Coaching/Counseling Inquiry form BELOW and CLICK SUBMIT and we will be in touch within 24 hours or the next business day… or if you’d like to give us a call right away, contact us by calling 202-599-0234.

(*Note* The Coaching/Counseling Inquiry form should still be completed if calling.) 

*We conduct sessions in person, via phone, & via Skype. We are located in the Washington, DC metropolitan area. How sessions are conducted is totally up to you. Please let us know what will work best for you. If in person your session will be held at our D.C. or Maryland office. If by phone, a call in number will be provided once our session is scheduled. If via Skype, we will provide you with our Skype name/number.

*Currently our in person fee is $159 per coaching hour. Skype & phone sessions are $100 per coaching hour.

We also offer an additional 30 minute mid-week “Transformation Touch-In” via phone where we review your latest goal(s), strategy, how you’re feeling/doing, etc. This is done individually. Ayize would speak with one partner and Aiyana would speak with the other partner. If you choose to include the Mid Week Touch-In’s the fee is $150 total if your joint sessions are virtual and $209 total if your joint sessions are in person .

*Sessions can be scheduled weekly or bi-weekly. Anything less than bi-weekly is not recommended because you will not have the maximum benefits that consistent support and positive accountability can provide.

We accept cash & checks in person & credit/debit card payments via paypal. Credit/debit card payments must be received at least 1 hour before a scheduled session.

We realize that on occasion you will not be able to make a scheduled appointment. You can call 202-599-0234  and inform us or leave  a cancellation message if we are unavailable.

However, please remember that this time has been reserved for you alone, so our policy is to charge $50 for missed appointments or $35 for cancellations without 24- hour advance notice.

Successful on-going counseling & coaching requires a commitment on the part of the practitioner and client. It is important that you keep your appointment when at all possible.

To pay for a COACHING/COUNSELING SESSION (via PHONE OR SKYPE) click below.


Coaching Via SKYPE or PHONE



To pay for  a COACHING OR COUNSELING SESSION (IN PERSON) click below.


Coaching IN PERSON / hr



*Please read the definitions below so that you are familiar with the kind of work that we will be doing.*


Traditional therapy or counseling looks at a person’s past, which usually includes some form of trauma. Deals with healing emotional pain or conflict within an individual or in a relationship between two people. The emphasis in a counseling relationship is identifying emotional and psychological wounds so that barriers can be moved.

Coaching looks at a person’s present, in order to help them design and act toward the future.  While positive feelings may be a natural outgrowth, the primary focus is on creating do-able strategies for achieving specific goals in your life. The emphasis in a coaching relationship is on action, accountability and follow through.

We combine COACHING & COUNSELING

ADVANTAGES of EXPERIENCING INDIVIDUAL/ COUPLES COACHING WITH US

– we are married and have been together for 17 years

(we have history and will represent male/female points of view to you)

– we have 4 children (we know about shared responsibility and can empathize with you)

– we’ve experienced DRAMA (communication issues, money issues, trust issues, etc) in our relationship (we can relate to you)

– we have assisted over 100,000 couples improve the quality of their relationship (we have experience helping couples in similar situations as you)

– we are both certified marriage educators and Aiyana is a licensed clinical therapist (we have credentials )

– we have been on several nationally syndicated radio shows and have made television appearances to work with couples

(we are nationally recognized as relationship authorities)

Aside from being married and doing your assessment together I think the greatest advantage is that WE CARE ABOUT YOU.

Here’s what some have said about us and the service we provide:

—“I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!! YOU SEEM TO HAVE THE RIGHT WORDS AT THE RIGHT TIME WHEN IM GOING THROUGH SOME TOUGH TIMES IN MY RELATIONSHIP!!!”
—“Super helpful! I can’t thank you enough for this.”
—“Whoooo! Yess!! I needed to hear this message today. Yall just don’t know. I appreciate you guys. Please don’t stop doing what you do!”
—“i love you guys, aiyana, u inspire me sooooooo much, i trully admire u, as a young woman of 27 years young (lol) i just aspire to be like women in ur category, by that i mean, (not category) but of your stature or shall i say emotional beauty.”
—“I appreciate the work that the two of you do and your advice is on point.”
_________________________________________________

Thank you for taking the time to read this page and taking the first step to a more emotionally healthy and whole you.  If you have any additional questions please don’t hesitate to ask.

If you are ready to begin the work of building A BETTER YOU and/or  BETTER RELATIONSHIPS, simply fill out the Coaching/Counseling Inquiry form BELOW and CLICK SUBMIT and we will be in touch within 24 hours or the next business day or if you’d like to give us a call right away, contact us by calling 202-599-0234.

(*Note* The Coaching/Counseling Inquiry form should still be completed if calling.)

STOP PLAYING AND START PUSHING