I’m 18….He’s 48 and We Have A Healthy Relationship

VIDEO: I’m 18 years old in a relationship with a man in his late 40’s. We have a healthy relationship. I have been with him for 6 months and I’m thinking about my future if I want to marry him his age considers me but I’m not into guys my age. I’m only attracted to older men. My family would not accept me marrying him because he’s older then me. I haven’t told my family about him. I love him with all my heart. I don’t want to break up with him because of my family. I don’t know what to do can you help?
BLAM FAM what do yall think about this?  One question I have is where in the hell are the men in her life?  Does she have anyone that can step to him and question him about his agenda?
11 replies
  1. Tay
    Tay says:

    I think love shouldn't have a age limit as long as it's legal. Take me for example I'm 22 and normally I don't like older guys, but there was this one 44 year old. He got me in a way no man or boy around me age could. We bounded through music (Oldies, O'jays, Isley Brothers etc.). He made me feel the way no one could because he knew things we taught me and I was able to teach him. It depends on the maturity of the people. Guess what not to long ago men were allowed to date women way younger than them (Color Purple ring a bell). At times it's hard to find someone you vibe with and when you do race, gender, and age shouldn't be an issue. Granted yes she does need to live a little 18 is too young to think about marriage. She needs to work on herself and get her wild years out of her, unless she isn't the partying type. As for her being scared of telling her parents it's natural, I was scared, but I talked to my dad about it and he said as long as he makes you feel special, safe, secure, then F the world and what people thing. Love shouldn't have limits if it's pure and true. All I can say to her is wait longer there is nothing wrong with dating older men, just wait until 25 when you are more grown up, cause we still got growing to do no one is ever fully grown

  2. tracyann
    tracyann says:

    I do believe that age doesn't matter as long as you love each other. My ex husband and I has an age gap too but we understand each other.

  3. Kelly
    Kelly says:

    It is my opinion this 48 yr old man likes little girls. To avoid the stigma of pedophile, child molester, craddle robber the grown man waits until the day she turned 18.
    This young girl (yes of legal consent) is being manuplated by the perv. She is a baby and he is old enough to be her father. If her daddy was in the picture this baby would not be looking for a “daddy” like man to love her.

  4. Jasmine B
    Jasmine B says:

    The fact that you don't feel secure in your relationship says it all. Me and my husband have a 15 year ago difference between us it's not the same as 30 but it could have been a problem had we let it. My advice is to ride the relationship and see if it leads you to matrimony.

  5. jaRwalker
    jaRwalker says:

    I want to say with considering marriage with such a large gap in age let me say this? is a bad Idea. This man can run all kind of game on you. He will have help issues that he will be dealing with soon are maybe but you dont know . I would say date as long as you can to see him when he is angry, sad, happy, just board. when you can see how he handle his life.

  6. lanasuccess4kids
    lanasuccess4kids says:

    Our beloved little sister is definitely searching for something and perhaps believes she has found it in this man. At 18, she is still a child in many ways. I am the mother of a 14 year old and I know for certain he will NOT be ready to be anybody's husband in 4 years. My plan is to still encourage and motivate him. Just as I needed that at 18, I wonder if this precious soul is latching on to "Chester" because he is providing that to her. Of course she feels comfortable. He's been there and done that. However, that does not make for a romantic love or relationship. Maybe it's misguided appreciation mixed with a void on her part and maybe it's just plain bad judgement on his part. I'm going hug my babies now!!!!

  7. 20 and Engaged
    20 and Engaged says:

    This is coming from someone who's turning 21 in a couple of weeks. This is NOT a healthy relationship. Just like Ayize and Aiyana said, there's something wrong with him as a man to be looking for someone 30 years younger than him. I definitely hear you; guys are less mature than girls at the same age. Sure, you can date older guys. But 30 years older? He was 30 when you were born; would he have found you attractive in diapers? There's a problem! What could you guys possibly have in common? You grew up in different eras, so you probably don't have similar media interests (music, movies, TV shows). If your family won't approve, there's a reason. What do you talk about at night? What's your conversations consists of? Sigh, I just pray you take this advice and realize this relationship is not heading to marriage, and if it does, it will most certainly end in divorce.
    My recent post Finance Friday: Is Moving a Good Idea?

  8. pear shape11
    pear shape11 says:

    I hope she listen. There is something wrong with a man who wants an 18 yrs old. She could be his daughter and he wants her. A healthy mature man would not? want a kid. I have a cousin who married a 19yrs old. After being marreid for 6 yrs she wanted out. The age differences became a problem. She's in college and wants to party with her friends. He already been there done that. It doesn't work. Before you get all serious in? a relationship become a woman first. Spend some years during you. Growing into a woman. Knowing who you are. Lord knows I wish I would have done that.

  9. Underground Kween
    Underground Kween says:

    Yeah I got married at 17 to a 29 year old… That was? THEEEEEE worst thing ever! LOL. I was blessed with my children but he was the bottom of the barrel, skuzzbucket, lame …etc…etc… sis get to know and love yourself. BUMP THAT!

  10. XoXTamisha
    XoXTamisha says:

    If she is uncomfortable telling her family that is a sure sign right there. Does this man not have kids, maybe even grandkids that are closer to her age?

    I understand where she is coming from because I am only 20 years old and I get the whole "idea" of what an older man has to offer. I get it. But the thought of a man my dad's age thinking of me in a sexual way is sick to me. Just thinking that there is always a possibility of pregnancy. What will she do then? How will this man look at his? kids

  11. MidAtlantic09
    MidAtlantic09 says:

    To be honest, a 44 year old man who dates an 18 year old has some issues. What he's? doing is pretty much no different than child molestation. While 18 is technically legal, just 5 years ago, he was nearly 40 and she was 13! Would anyone think that's acceptable? OF COURSE NOT! So it shouldn't be viewed any differently now.

    She should be dating guys in the 18-25 range.

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