What A Man Wants From His Woman

VIDEO: A viewer wrote in saying that she and her husband argue about everything and she is at her wits end. Her fundamental question is….What do men want? Listen in as we help this wife get a better understanding of her husband and what he wants. For another perspective and some different tips check out this post we did titled: “What The Other Woman Will Do That You Won’t.”

10 replies
  1. Lync
    Lync says:

    Dag! I am typing way to fast, my apologies for that mix up. You are female not a man

  2. Lync
    Lync says:

    K.O my apologies you are a female for that mix up.

  3. Lync
    Lync says:


    Oh man you missed what I meant by saying what I said earlier. The reasons why I said what I said, it appears that most women focus is so far from being in a long term situation. I have stated before about how we as a black race need a lot of self development because of the absence of the two parents not being there in a house hold with the up bringing of children.

    This goes back to when we all meet for the first time. Do we spend enough time asking or learning about the person that we think is so cute or fine, Do we really! or do we fall into a pattern like most that end up broken apart after the thrill of what was fake in the first place about one another. Again we as men and women should admit to "self" what are my values as a person that want a relationship when I find the right person to build with, and stick to those values when we finally meet he r or a him if you are a female.

    I take it back to the beginning is because it's there when we find out through courtship of who this person really is and in those moments of just courting her we will learn tons of things about one another. to go forward or back out of it if we are real about doing thing correctly.

    I for one would want my women to have her own dreams that I can support as well as her support my dreams along the way a 50 /50 type of situation. i think there are a lot of values that women can learn from there past examples, However improve on them as well regarding her direction and choice in life. Career, family religion and so on.

    But when you get to people that meet based on lust and fake everything. these are two people that will end up not understanding the value of Stop! before you go forward in that bed. Get the lust out of the picture, and get to know this person. If not! the chances are. your ideas about what a marriage should be will be lost because you two never talked about the "what if's" because you were to far into the lust to where it blind you from the realities of life with this person beside you that you just do not know at all.

    Her views in comparison to yours about most things. Harriet mention being "Fragmented" this is my point about finding and getting self correct before uniting with a person and be real about it to self first. and share these ideas with this new friend you found, but take your time so the two of you can have exchange as the relationship develops over time.

    Only then will the two of you have reason to come together in these ideas and blend them or talk about the , but together with deep understanding but please be fair to one another in these moments. you could be molding together an everlasting relationship but most important you are in agreement so when the what if's comes alone the two of you are prepared with a foundation that the two of you molded during courtship.

    No it want be perfect life is not like that but at least you've put in the invested time with this person you have as a friend and now wife.

    It's kinda hard to read someones thoughts and get it right by these words on the computer. If I said anything that may have lead to one believing that I or my thoughts are not fair to women please you are so far from understanding my approach to life in general.

    We have to look head on and face what life presents to us right now. There is a difference in the women of yesterday then the women of today. It's suppose to be this way. But I ask you set and speak with the two groups if you can and you will get first hand of their thoughts and see how they may not be able to listen to one another about their ideas about family.

    Yes women were in a different position back then compared to the women of today. Ask yourself this. Are their values and morals in check. Now I say this because there are many examples out there that make them seem out of touch with the true values that will gain them respect as they grow in their generation.

    There's also mention of a man leading. Ok what about the "Feminine Movement" if i am saying this correctly they are also apart of this generation in different walks of life that will disagree with the man leading with rage. So when we speak to the forum we have to be open to all groups that may here these topics and handle them with care.

    However it all goes back to "self" and your ideas with another person and how can we blend them for the sake of harmony and peace as one.

  4. Harriet
    Harriet says:

    Today's woman is not yesterday's woman. Truth.

    Should have been watching the women, not just the men. Truth.

    Leadership is way more sexy than control. Truth!!!

    Hate you had to use that disclaimer, but based on past commentary I've read on other similar topics, it was necessary!

    • K.O.
      K.O. says:

      Hi Harriet!!…Do you have a link to the article you wrote a couple of weeks ago? "A Whole New Me", I think it was called? There was a piece of it that I wanted to copy into my journal, and I can't find it anywhere on the website. I would very much appreciate it!

      • Harriet
        Harriet says:

        Shoot an e-mail to harriethairston@yahoo.com, and I'll be happy to send it to you. Ayize, Aiyana and I decided to remove it. It was extremely raw, and to a great extent, it was unfair to my ex husband because it outlined OUR relationship, not just the role I played.

        I'm glad there was something within those words that inspired you! Be blessed!

  5. K.O.
    K.O. says:

    Great points, you guys! These are things that we, as women, definitely need a reminder of. And Aiyana, you hit it right on….a man that leads is so much more attractive than one that controls.

  6. Lync
    Lync says:

    Ok Ok the women of today are not like minded like Aiyana, come on. We all know that most black women are out to down men that they have never met all because of what the hear from there friends or have seen happen to someone that they know.

    Yes Ayize said it right But lets be real here. Most situations are not as bless and understand their roles as you two do. Most black women just like the views of media see the stories of black men this and black men that and with all of this probing their brains they fail to realize it takes for a black women who understand her place in this relationship thing and it's not about a man controlling her or the battles that her moms had when she was a little girl.

    We want true understanding so we can be the best for you, us , family. But I challenge this. Show me at least 8 women who understand what Aiyana spoke about when she referenced to your place.


    • K.O.
      K.O. says:


      I have to disagree with you. There are still women out here that know their so-called "place" in a relationship…Women that know how to let their husbands lead, and women that support, lift up, and encourage their men. But as more children grown up in single parent households, raised by a mother only, women (and men) don't have as many opportunities to see how a healthy marriage functions. Aiyana has admitted several times, that she hasn't always been the wife and woman that she is today. If we have the desire to be better, and do better, along with an understanding and patient partner, we will develop into the great women and men that we're supposed to be.

    • Harriet
      Harriet says:

      *Raising my hand.

      Can't speak for everyone, but I can speak for myself.

      I could easily say the same about men, but the optimist in me refuses to believe that Aiyana and Ayize's version of "happily ever after" is next to impossible. They work hard at it, they study it, thus they succeed.

      I think the place many people (myself included) have fallen short is in the fact that they come into a relationship fragmented and/or making the other person pay for what someone did to them years ago.

      And I'm not out to down men I have never met. I agree with you on the fact that some women use the media or their brokenhearted and bitter girlfriends as their manual for how to treat brothers, but I don't believe in that.

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