VIDEO: Yesterday,we did a video focusing on what it is that the mistress is doing—that the wife is not—that makes it easy for a man to turn his head and step out in what is supposed to be a committed & monogamous relationship. Well, today we are looking to the other side and shedding some light on exactly what is it that husbands may not do. If we be real about it….every relationship has challenges. But what is it that provokes a woman to step outside of the relationship when confronted with those shortcomings? Is there something that husbands can do differently to reduce this possibility? You’re about to find out as relationship coach & marriage educator, Aiyana Ma’at, breaks it down for us. Listen in and assess where you fall. Are you leaving your relationship vulnerable?
This is Real Talk…..BLACK MEN: You are loved…Please listen up. It’s a reasonable expectation to be pleased in your relationship. You should expect to be pleased by your woman and YOU have a responsibility to do some pleasing. With that being said….WE NEED YOU. Black women need you to give undivided attention, spend quality time, and provide……yes, financially. These are just some of the things that the “other man” does…..that you don’t. And, what the Hell, I’m gonna throw in some “other things” that aren’t necessarily what the other man does—but husbands could certainly pay more attention to.
*Knows me inside and out: Seek out your woman’s interests. What is it that she really enjoys? What makes her tick? Encourage her in those things. Challenge her to be the best that she can be.
*Spends Quality Time: To really know someone you have to continually be committed to the process of getting to know that person. Why is it that once we’re married alot of folks think that this process stops? You have to be intentional about engaging in things that will help us to deepen our knowledge of each other, our bond, and our respect for each other.
*Give Undivided Attention: Every woman wants to know and feel that she is at the center of her man’s world. She wants to know that you care about what she cares about….just because she does. We want to have conversations that are not interrupted by sports shows, a text coming in, checking your email, or you glancing at your watch for the 100th time—and your wife has only been talking for 2 minutes–literally.
*Buy me gifts sometimes: Whether you believe it or not it really is the thought that truly counts here. It could be a rose from the grocery store, a card you pick up on the way home, or a new dress you know I’ve had my eye on. Whatever it is, to know you thought about me and took the time to buy something just for me is wonderful!
* Stimulate me mentally: Talk to me. Listen to my ideas and share yours with me. This is often one of the biggest turn ons husbands can ignore.
* Take care of yourself: Pay attention to your health. Pay attention to that tummy fat that seems to keep growing. 🙂 Exercise so you can be around for the family and because you wanna keep it sexy just for wifey.
*Help with the kids and the housework: This should be self-explanatory. A man who helps out more with housework and handling kids gets more sex—plain and simple. Help a sistah out so we’re not to damn tired to give you some.
*Pay me a compliment every now and then: Let me know that you see me. It’s so important. Women want to be desirable to our men. If you don’t tell us someone else will…
*Pay attention to the details: When you remember what we share with you down to the most minute detail that spells love to us. We know you won’t be perfect in this area. But, make an effort. Write it down! Shooot!
* Handle your Business. Pay the Bills: Hey, If men can talk about how important getting home cooked meals and being catered to is in 2010, then you know it’s only natural that we keep it 100% honest here and say—PULL YOUR WEIGHT. Bring something to the table……yeah financially. Out of work? Look for employment like your life depends on it. Share in the financial discussions and decision making. Handle your business.
Take on Leadership in the relationship:We ALL have the ability to lead. We ALL have strengths. But, there is something irresistibly sexy & attractive about a confident man who knows who he is, whose he is, and where he is going.
Allright B Intentional Family, this list is by NO means indisputable or all there is, but these are just some of the things that you could and should take to heart when asking “Am I holding it down in my house? Be honest with yourself. Stop Playing. Start Pushing. Leave a comment and let us know how you feel.