3 Reasons To Love The “Other Woman”

By MrsSays

Look at her.  She’s gotten her hair done and made sure her nails have gotten their proper treatment too.  Consideration has gone into her clothes and she switched out her handbag to coordinate.  She looks and feels good.  She has her fair share of responsibilities but she gets it all in.  She takes time for her interests and appreciates the value of her social life. She obviously loves herself.  No wonder your husband loves her too.

Before you get into your fighting stance let me clue you in…the other woman is YOU! Before you were married and before the babies and the bills and parent-teacher conferences she was YOU! Before you start expressing how much of my mind I must have lost if I think you have the time/money take a look at a few reasons you need to love the other woman again.

1) For you: If is counter-intuitive but you can’t be the wife, mother, friend or employee that you want to be if you take any time to energize yourself. It is pretty easy to roll your eyes at your husband and yell at your kids when you are tired and mourning your former life. Even the Proverbs 31 woman took time to share her talents for her own sake.

Proverbs 10: 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple

It is only right that you reserve some of the intellect, know-how and general flyness you share with your family with yourself. You deserve it.

2) For your kids: Your kids should be the reason instead of the excuse for you to invest in yourself.  With all of the negative images out there the last thing they need to think is that a wife and mother should be a martyr and self-care is reserved for the single.  Modeling behavior is the best way to teach a skill.  The best way to show your children how a wife and mother should be treated is to treat yourself well.

3) For your marriage: Marriage is not 50/50.  It requires 100% of both of you. Your husband loves ALL of you including the other you. Giving your true self is a precious and valuable gift.  Continuing to preserve and cultivate yourself will insure that neither of you is clueless as to what to do with yourselves and your relationship after the children are grown. Do both of you a favor and make sure he experiences the best of both worlds in you.

Do you make taking care of yourself a priority? Do you think it is feasible if you have a young family?

About Mrs Says: 11 years ago  I became a partner in this thing call marriage.  My middle school sweetheart became my husband and I started to become someone else.  This isn’t a bad thing…as a matter of fact it is a very GOOD thing but either way it is a different thing.The point of MrsSays is to celebrate the world of Marriage from a woman’s point of view and to express all of the ups and downs, challenges and triumphs in the life of a married woman. I encourage you to be the the best YOU in your marriage, speak your mind and hopefully grow with me. Read more from MrsSays at http://mrssays.com/

14 replies
  1. stacie
    stacie says:

    Oh…I was ’bout to say! We do need reminders to take care of ourselves though. Thanks!

  2. modernmarriedchick
    modernmarriedchick says:

    I agree! From a Black woman married to a Black man for over 10 years and are now expecting our first child. SOOOOOOOOOOOO true!

  3. Nita Short
    Nita Short says:

    Sounds like me. My husband is a blessed man and I am a blessed woman.

  4. Shelice Miller
    Shelice Miller says:

    Powerful but true. Just because you're married don't mean you should get "comfortable". Keep your it tight.

  5. mrssays
    mrssays says:

    MCNYmentor looks can be deceiving. Maybe I was unclear. We have 4 children under 10 and though I manage our business from home now, I worked full-time for the first 3 years as we boot-strapped to get it started 6 years ago I don't minimize the stresses and time crunch that comes along with motherhood and married life. Self-care is different from woman to woman. It may be as simple as getting up before the family does to make sure you get alone time or spending 30 min a week on your personal interests. My point is that it should still be a priority. It needn't cost much or take a lot of time but the intentional act of taking care of ones self is empowering, refreshing and beneficial.
    My recent post Have you seen Jahessye Shockley?

    • Mairo
      Mairo says:

      Well said. We need to take control of our lives and be accountable for how we choose to use our time. Playing the martyr or victim is not healthy for our families.

    • Deatha
      Deatha says:

      excellent post.

  6. MCNYmentor
    MCNYmentor says:

    definitely written by someone who obvious has never had a full-time job, unemployed husband and 2 toddlers and/or teenagers all at the same time.

    • Deatha
      Deatha says:

      I can respect that the job can be overwhwelming sis and I might partly agree with you..except that you must take time out for you. Not excessive and not all day and realistically, not all the time but a brief moment in the day, for thirty minutes or so, or a lady day where you have quiet time and minister…to yourself, whatever that may mean to you. OMG, it can, at times be difficult, but not impossible.Yet when you find that time, youll find that you have re-energized yourself to carry on like a good , ahppy wifey and mommy. WHile we werent able to go out often. I would find time to get away, with my husbands help and have an early cheap breakfast at Wafflehouse. Or go for a mindthinking mp3 playing walk in the sun on a beautiful day. Or may be have a dressup day to get dolled up…even if it was just to the kids school and back..lol….it s a great esteem booster and reminds you that youve still got "it! Your point is well taken its a full responsibility and fulltime ministry to do what you do and I commend you for that.

  7. Neysa
    Neysa says:

    Great article! Loved the reminder to remember yourself first!

    • Deatha
      Deatha says:

      well, not necessarily first, just add yourself onto the list of who you need to minister to…sometimes you end up being last, but at least youre on the list..lol

  8. Reese
    Reese says:

    You got me with that first paragraph. You're right we do have to pay attention to ourselves if we expect our spouse to pay attention to us.

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