My Husband Wants Female Friends Because He’s Frustrated With Me Sexually

VIDEO: Occasionally while we are out here coaching couples we come across people that use their spouses “lack of action” to justify their actions outside of their relationship. In this video we are dealing with a similar scenario where a husband wants female friends because his sex life with his wife SUCKS and is basically NON-EXISTENT.  The wife is saying “What should I do!”….so we give her some real advice…as usual.

19 replies
  1. Elle
    Elle says:

    Ladies stop making your man your king. This episode is a result of the way we play the game. Apply some self love to your relationship. Remember you deserve honor too. Be honored in your relationship. You are not honored right now. Start loving yourself. Y? You'll be more attractive to him. He'll take more interest in you. You'll see him giving you the attention you deserve and the dissappearing act of the ladies that he's running to.

  2. KJ617
    KJ617 says:

    That is not necessarily true. We had a very active sex life but I think for him at least he still had that college/high school midset(he played football) and is used to the admiration several women. Also I think men like to tell half truths, like…yeah I went to lunch with a group of co workers not yeah I went to lunch with a group of co workers, one of which flirts with me & I like the attention.

  3. SmoovMochanut
    SmoovMochanut says:

    Life does "get in the way" sometimes & a woman's desire for sex may drastically decrease for a while. However, the wife should be open & transparent with her own feelings – share them with the husband so he knows a bit more about what is going through the wife's head.

    In reality, men take it deeply personal when during a fiery, passionate, sex-filled relationship the woman (all of a sudden) stops wanting to have sex as regularly as they have been. It's a major change to how they interact with each other regularly because sex had been a major part of a really good relationship. To take the sexual intimacy away sometimes means that something is wrong or something has changed. Communication is the most useful key – talk about it. Many women "pull back" from the sexually-oriented relationships to be sure they have fully captured the type of intimacy they really want for the long-term. And these women have to tell their partner how they feel to be sure he truly understands.

    Even for the mature male, this is sometimes hard to accept. You have a loving wife, you do a lot for each other, and you both want to satisfy each others needs. Sometimes a true lack of desire for sex is caused by everyday stress, a major life event from the past (such as abuse), or a varying attitude about the reason why sex is a major part of the relationship. Don't speculate – communicate. Talk…before you walk (out) or cheat.

  4. SmoovMochaNut
    SmoovMochaNut says:

    OK, the wife isn't being intimate enough or doesn't want to make love as often as the husband. That's no excuse to want to cheat. But it intimacy in friendship is missing, maybe the husband should consider hanging out with or add more friends to his life. Many couples in long-term relationships find themselves in a lull – and the "newness" within the relationship has seemed to fizzle a bit due to work, family, etc. It's OK to have friends, but pursuing the friendship of other females is risky & may be damaging to a marriage if everything within the marriage isn't necessarily "right" between the wife and husband.

    It doesn't make sense that the husband wants female "friends" to satisfy his lack of sex life with his wife. He's not having sex, so he's horny & wants to get close to other women…even if it's just talking & chatting.

  5. Mildred
    Mildred says:

    I do not believe a man or woman should have the need for friendship with the opposite sex! If you are married, it is called mutual friends! Your wife or your husband should be your friend! Friendship with the opposite sex WILL lead to infidelity, emotional and/or physical. If you feel your wife is not doing what she supposed to do, going outside is not the solution! The grass is not greener on the other side, if you start fertilizing yours , it will be greener and healthier. If you have neglected yours, it will die!

  6. Shane Hayes
    Shane Hayes says:

    My girl friend has a lot of "guy friends" and that's cool, but I felt they got more attention than me. We didn't kiss or hug each other because we wanted to keep doors closed that needed to be closed, closed and we wanted God to be pleased always in our relationship. Not saying we couldn't just didn't wanted to be tempted….anyway. I felt like these "friends" or "homeboys" were sometimes more than that. Especially seeing certain stuff on facebook. When I would bring up stuff she would do on facebook she would get mad and be like "why you looking at stuff I do on facebook". I looked at stuff because I knew there was things on there I didn't like that she did. For example joke about being pregnant by some other dude, or she would tell girls on a dude's page "girls fall back" What are your thoughts about that being that I told her how I felt.

  7. L.M.Williams
    L.M.Williams says:

    This sounds just like what happen to me. My wife wanted to and was stepping out, I caught her. Know this, If you are marriage, in a relationship or what have you. If that male or female starts talking about having new friends or bring old friends of the opposite sex back in their life. They are already doing the unthinkable. Sad but so true. Get out of the situation as fast and safely as you can before somebody gets hurt!

  8. Ricardo
    Ricardo says:

    On point as usual

  9. HoneyK1020
    HoneyK1020 says:

    i love ur respones you guys. i defr think the woman who worte the letter knows its getting down to the wire of making some clear cut decisons on how to move on with this matter. ..sometimes we need to hear what our minds think from another person's mouth. we then can know that we are not crazy or demanding something that maybe is unattainable 4 the circumstances we are in. who knows maybe the husband involvement with other women emotional is whats causing the problem in the relationshp sexually

  10. Tia L
    Tia L says:

    This article is mainly regarding your man wanting to connect with other women for sexual intimacy. What if he is trying to justify having "new" female friends for just friendship? This was my experience also another instance where it was an old flame he wanted to continue talking to. Of course, I said hell no, but he continue anyway.

    • Mildred
      Mildred says:

      Tia , if your husband can not stop the friendship with an old friend, there is more to it! I am going through the same thing! If a man or woman invest so much time rebuilding that "FRIENDSHIP" , it will take away from your relationship with them!

  11. Yasmeen
    Yasmeen says:

    I wish my man would……….

  12. Beentheredonethat
    Beentheredonethat says:

    Like I always say, hard to eat when your stomach is full! STAY ON YA JOB OR SOMEone ELSE will GLADLY take your preapproved (by marriage) sexual duties!

    • Kandi
      Kandi says:

      let the choir say AMEN!!!!!

    • Mildred
      Mildred says:

      there is a difference between sex and love, sex is just sex without love,marriage or being in a relationship is more than sex! Investing in your love and commitment will lead to great sex and will grow the marriage stronger.! So tired of men using sex as an excuse to do what they are doing!

  13. Larry
    Larry says:

    To be real it's very difficult to deal with wanting sex from your wife and being denied sex by your wife. I understand how one's eyes and hand's might wander when confronted with this unfortunate reality.

    • cassandra t.
      cassandra t. says:

      tempatation is real….if u resist it, it goes away. No, sex should not be used as a weapon…but communication is essential in any relationship. Talk instead of seeking outside…if u are unhappy…leave..dont cheat emotionally or physically..those are 1 and the same!

      • Mildred
        Mildred says:

        You are so right, those are actions made by cowards, not real men or women!

  14. laydk
    laydk says:

    Excuses excuses excuses…..some brotha's will try and say anything to get permission to cheat.

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