Where Are You Going In 2011?

by Aiyana Ma’at This morning I woke up to the smell of my savory black-eyed peas and smoked turkey in the crock pot wafting through the air. The smell took me back to my childhood. My mother would cook all kinds of good food for New Year’s Day. Our family would lounge around the house (except my mom who would be cooking and serving away…poor thing!) playing games, watching movies, eating good food, taking naps, and then waking up just to eat again!

Family and friends would stop by to eat some of our delicious eats and have great conversation around the kitchen or living room tables. Those were the days! As much as I can, whenever I can, (I get better and better each year…smile) I strive to recreate the kind of feelings and memories I have of my own childhood at holiday times for my own children and husband. I know that being able to spend focused and concentrated time with each other is a blessing and I do not take it for granted.

Not only am I intentional about the moments I re-create from my childhood experiences today  but my husband and I are very intentional about reinforcing and instilling a deep and profound sense of vision, direction, and purpose in ourselves and our children. We celebrate Kwanzaa in our family and yesterday and today’s principles are Kuumba (Creativity) and Imani (Faith). Using those principles to anchor our thoughts over the past two days everyone in our family has been working on “Vision Boards” that will ultimately help each of us to continue to re-define and refine ourselves and our goals for this New Year.

So, what exactly is a “Vision Board”?

A vision board (also called a Treasure Map or a Visual Explorer or Creativity Collage) is typically a poster board on which you paste or collage images that you’ve torn out from various magazines. Pretty simple. The idea behind this is that when you surround yourself with images of who you want to become, how you want to feel, what you want to have, etc. your life changes to match those images and those desires.

This has been a wonderful activity for each of us. It’s allowed us to focus our attention on what we want to create in our lives and even though our children are only 3, 4, 6, and 9 they are internalizing what I believe is one of the most awesome gifts my husband and I can give them: the ability to visualize and create what they want to see in their lives.

As you enter the beginning of a New Year create your very own Vision Board and the life you want. Christine Kane has some excellent tips on different kinds of Vision Boards you can create. So, get your mind and spirit right, take the limits off, and cut and paste away to your destiny!

Tips to start from Christine Kane:

Before you begin your vision board:

No matter which method you’re choosing, have a little ritual before you begin your vision board. Sit quietly and set the intent. With lots of kindness and openness, ask yourself what it is you want. Maybe one word will be the answer. Maybe images will come into your head. Just take a moment to be with that. This process makes it a deeper experience. It gives a chance for your ego to step aside just a little, so that you can more clearly create your vision.

The Five Steps of Creating a Vision Board:

Step 1: Go through your magazines and tear the images from them. No gluing yet! Just let yourself have lots of fun looking through magazines and pulling out pictures or words or headlines that strike your fancy. Have fun with it. Make a big pile of images and phrases and words.

Step 2: Go through the images and begin to lay your favorites on the board. Eliminate any images that no longer feel right. This step is where your intuition comes in. As you lay the pictures on the board, you’ll get a sense how the board should be laid out. For instance, you might assign a theme to each corner of the board. Health, Job, Spirituality, Relationships, for instance. Or it may just be that the images want to go all over the place. Or you might want to fold the board into a book that tells a story. At my retreats, I’ve seen women come up with wildly creative ways to present a vision board.

Step 3: Glue everything onto the board. Add writing if you want. You can paint on it, or write words with markers.

Step 4: (optional, but powerful) Leave space in the very center of the vision board for a fantastic photo of yourself where you look radiant and happy. Paste yourself in the center of your board.

Step 5: Hang your vision board in a place where you will see it often.

Three Types of Vision Boards:

1 – The “I Know Exactly What I Want” Vision Board

Do this vision board if:

– You’re very clear about your desires.

– You want to change your environment or surroundings.

– There is a specific thing you want to manifest in your life. (i.e. a new home, or starting a business.)

How to create this vision board:

With your clear desire in mind, set out looking for the exact pictures which portray your vision. If you want a house by the water, then get out the Dwell magazine and start there. If you want to start your own business, find images that capture that idea for you. If you want to learn guitar, then find that picture. I remember at the last retreat, one woman yelled out, “If anyone finds a picture of a little girl with red hair who looks happy, give it to me!” And someone else yelled out, “I’m looking for a Cadillac!” Pretty soon, a lively trading session began. Following the five steps above, create your vision board out of these images.

2 – The “Opening and Allowing” Vision Board

Do this vision board if:

– You’re not sure what exactly you want

– You’ve been in a period of depression or grief

– You have a vision of what you want, but are uncertain about it in some way.

– You know you want change but don’t know how it’s possible.

How to create this vision board:

Go through each magazine. Tear out images that delight you. Don’t ask why. Just keep going through the magazines. If it’s a picture of a teddy bear that makes you smile, then pull it out. If it’s a cottage in a misty countryside, then rip it out. Just have fun and be open to whatever calls to you. Then, as you go through Step 2 above, hold that same openness, but ask yourself what this picture might mean. What is it telling you about you? Does it mean you need to take more naps? Does it mean you want to get a dog, or stop hanging out with a particular person who drains you? Most likely you’ll know the answer. If you don’t, but you still love the image, then put it on your vision board anyway. It will have an answer for you soon enough. Some women at my retreats had NO idea what their board was about, and it wasn’t until two months later that they understood. The Opening and Allowing Vision Board can be a powerful guide for you. I like it better than the first model because sometimes our egos think they know what we want, and lots of times those desires aren’t in alignment with who we really are. This goes deeper than just getting what you want. It can speak to you and teach you a little bit about yourself and your passion.

3 – The “Theme” Vision Board

Do this vision board if:

– It’s your birthday or New Years Eve or some significant event that starts a new cycle.

– If you are working with one particular area of your life. For instance, Work & Career.

How to create this vision board:

The only difference between this vision board and the others is that this one has clear parameters and intent. Before you begin the vision board, take a moment to hold the intent and the theme in mind. When you choose pictures, they will be in alignment with the theme. You can do the Theme Vision Board on smaller pages, like a page in your journal.

Some things to remember about vision boards:

– You can use a combination of all three types of vision boards as you create. Sometimes you might start out doing one kind, and then your intuition takes over and shifts into a whole different mode. That’s called creativity. Just roll with it.

– Your vision board might change as you are making it. I was just talking with a friend of mine who said that she had been making a vision board for the new year. The theme was all about what she wanted in this year. Then, as she pulled pictures and began to lay them out, the theme changed into a simpler one about her everyday life and the moments in each day. It surprised and delighted her to experience that evolution. You might find that you have little epiphanies from making a vision board.

Make a Vision Journal

Another option is to use these same principles in a big sketch book. Get a large sketch book and keep an on-going vision journal. This is especially effective if you’re going through many transitions in your life.

The possibilities are endless! Happy New Year B Intentional Family!!!!!!!!!

Chuck D Speaks On The Importance Of Kwanzaa

VIDEO: December is an exciting month in the Ma’at home because there is an increased emphasis on the importance of family and community.  Our children struggle to contain their excitement as they anxiously anticipate Dec. 25th.  Once Chrismas arrives they quickly shift their focus and enthusiasm toward the weeklong celebration of Kwanzaa.  Kwanzaa is a family and community celebration that focusses on 7 principles.  The seven principles of Kwanzaa are Umoja (Unity), Kujichagulia (Self-Determination), Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility), Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics), Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity), and Imani (Faith).   During this time period we attend community events, we make gifts for each other, we spend time talking about the importance of each principle, and on the last day of Kwanzaa which is Imani (Faith) we participate in a Kwanzaa Karamu which is a feast.  We cherish this time of year because it gives us an opportunity to reflect on our unique value and our responsibility to contribute that divine uniqueness to our community.  To set the record straight…Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday.  Kwanzaa is a cultural celebration that reinforces the greatness of our past and present historical experiences.  Kwanzaa is about lifting up who we are as a people, examining our frailties, and being intentional about making forward progress in the year to come.  We invite you participate in this wonderful celebration and remind you that your best days are yet to come.  Habari Gani!

CHRISTMAS GIFT ALERT! FREE GIVE AWAY!!! “AUTHENTICITY” THE RELATIONSHIP BOARD GAME

The holidays are upon us and it’s time to figure out just what to give the folks on your list. Before, you get a headache trying to figure out the perfect gift for the ones you love allow us to make an excellent suggestion. ENTER TO WIN & Give the FREE gift of  Authenticity: The Relationship Board Game.  Authenticity is featured in the December issue of ESSENCE magazine and was created by Sheila Moss-Brown.

Sheila says the game of Authenticity was created to provide people that are dating, engaged or newly married the opportunity to learn more about their mate in a fun, interactive yet informative format. To achieve the full benefits of the game you and your partner must be completely Authentic. To be authentic is to truly be yourself, be proud of your past and your future. The focus is not winning or losing but learning and connecting so that you can determine if there is a love connection or if counseling is in your near future. You can lose this game if you and/or your mate are not authentic in answering the questions. Sheila’s hope is that you find this game helpful in finding that person with which you truly connect.

We, at B Intentional, think this game is a great gift for the cute couples in your life or for you and yours. Remember, we should always be looking for ways to keep the romance alive and the authentic conversation going. TO ENTER, LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW, SUBSCRIBE TO THE BLOG, & BE SURE TO PUT YOUR CORRECT EMAIL ADDRESS (it’s private—no one else will se it) WHEN LEAVING YOUR COMMENT SO WE CAN CONTACT YOU IF YOU’RE THE WINNER! YOU CAN ENTER ONCE EACH DAY THIS WEEK. THE WINNER WILL BE ANNOUNCED THIS FRIDAY, DEC. 3, 2010. Spread the love & this link!

Happy Holidays,

The Ma’at’s

Happy Thankgiving From Our Family To Yours!

VIDEO: Take time everyday to give thanks for the large and small things in your life. The spirit of gratitude will go a LONG way. Family is often what people think of when they reflect on what they are thankful for on Thanksgiving. And, family may be a big family of 6 like ours, a family of 2 or maybe just you and the wonderful friends you have in your life. Here, we focus on the importance of defining & creating what we want to experience during the holiday season. Traditions & legacies are built one experience at a time. We all have the power to create warm & fuzzy moments with the ones we love the best! 😉

So, Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours and while you’re lounging around today peruse our website and catch up on web shows and articles that you haven’t had a chance to take a look at. There’s plenty to delve into and to learn and grow from right here so stay awhile! 🙂

~In the Spirit of Love, Family, & Intention,

The Ma’at’s

Farai Chideya Talks About Dealing With Thanksgiving Family Stress & Relatives That Get On Our Last Nerves

AUDIO: Ahh….Thanksgiving is one day away and many of us are preparing to receive relatives or are on our way to see them. There’s nothing like family to bring back warm & fuzzy memories, remind us of what’s important in life, and bring out the child in us. There’s also nothing like family to kick up old issues, remind us of why we only see some folks a few times each year, and bring the “I’m a grown ass (wo)man dammit!” out of us.

Thanksgiving can be wonderful, nostalgic, and healing to our souls but it can be downright stressful as well. Listen in to this NPR interview where Farai Chideya talks with humorist Brian Copeland, the star of the one man show “Not a Genuine Black Man,” and psychiatrist Ivan Walks, about ways of dealing with holiday anxiety.

CLICK HERE FOR AUDIO: 01 Dealing with Holiday Family Stress 1

To Read the transcript of this discussion, CLICK HERE.

Do You Really Understand The Power Of Touch In Your Relationship?

VIDEO: Do you have special people in your life? Is your man or woman a unique, irreplaceable, and special part of your existence? If the answer is yes….let me ask you….does he/she know? It’s important that you let the people you love know that you love them and why you love them. ….. It doesn’t always have to be through words..sometimes a simple touch can say what words can never convey. Listen in to truly understand why & how you should Recognize your sweetheart through touch, Reassure you baby through touch, and Revitalize yourself and the relationship through touch. You and your relationship deserve it.

Week Of Give Aways # 1: Enter For Free Dinner For 2 And A Movie!

Dinner

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Movie

We’re celebrating our 100th Video with an entire week of give aways and today marks Give Away # 1! We are giving away a perfect date night: Dinner for two– A $75 gift certificate for dinner at thousand’s of eligible restaurants across the country from Restaurant.com and 2 movie tickets to see the movie of your choice at hundreds of eligible theaters across the country from Fandango.com.

Go ahead and Enter! Leave a comment below & don’t forget to leave your email address in the email field so we can enter you and contact you if you’re the winner. The winner will be selected randomly. It won’t cost you a thing. This is our way of saying thank you for helping www.Blackloveandmarriage.com become it all it has (and all it is yet to be!) The winner will be announced next Monday, Oct. 11th. 🙂 Happy Monday! See you back tomorrow for Give Away #2!

Overwhelmed? Discipline Makes Things Easier.

VIDEO: Whenever you find yourself in a space in your life where you are overwhelmed and it is impacting the quality of your relationship……it’s time to re-strategize, reorganize, and decompress. How do you intentionally lighten the load you feel? How do you unwind and re-establish that sacred yet seemingly elusive space of peace within your own mind and relationship? A wife & mom of 3 wrote in about how overwhelmed she is feeling with hubby, kids, work, school, bills, etc. She says that she & her husband unintentionally take their frustration out on each other and wants to know what they can do to gain some calm in their hectic lives. Sounds all too familiar! 🙂 Listen in and hear how we advise this viewer to reconnect.

Do Something Different.Do Something New. Do Something For Your Relationship. Do Something For You!

Basic Training For Couples Registration is happening now. Will you be there? Let’s predict the conversation….

Partner 1: You know that Basic Training class…the couples class I was telling you about? It starts September 28th.

Partner 2: Oh, yeah? What’s the point of it though? Isn’t it for people who have alot of problems?

Partner 1: I think it really doesn’t matter. You can be having no problems or be on the verge of divorce.

Partner 2: We’re fine. I mean, what they gon’ tell me that I don’t already know? Most people know what they need to do they just don’t do it, ya know?

Partner 1: Yeah, I know….that’s exactly why I think we should go.

This is just one of how many conversations will go between couples when talking about taking a relationship class. There is usually one person who is curious or feels they need it and there is usually one person who thinks it’s just not that serious. If you or your sweetie is unsure about whether this class is for you drop us a line or give us a call at 1-888-307-7970. We won’t hesitate to answer any and all of your questions. Do something different. Do something new. Do something for your relationship. Do something for you! This is the perfect opportunity for you to Stop Playing & Start Pushing.

Click here for frequently asked questions and here for registration information.

How To Avoid A Jerk/Jerkette Registration Has Begun!

Jerks, losers, men and women who ain’t about nothing…call them whatever you want—we will show you how to avoid them and find “the one” that’s right for you. This class will help you break destructive dating patterns that have kept you from finding the love you deserve! Are you ready to start the journey? Mark your calendar! This class begins Sept. 30th!

Click here for details and registration information