By Lucy O’Brien
Women who give too much in relationships will usually find that their relationships don’t work out. And this happens to many women. They give far too much, far too early, and then wonder why it isn’t appreciated. If you’re exhausted from giving to your man, if you feel drained from feeling that you get little in return, read this article to find out why giving too much will not win a man over.
Women can be very generous and giving in relationships. Naturally a girl wants to impress her new man early on. However, giving too much is never a good thing when you hardly know a guy. If you give too much without requiring that you receive in return, he may well take your generous gifts but he will know subconsciously that you undervalue yourself. He will lose respect for you early on. He may well take advantage but then he will probably leave.
This is because giving too much tends to come from a sense of neediness and inadequacy. If I give more, he will love me more. If I do more he will appreciate me more. She gives because she does not want to lose the relationship that gives her purpose. She is frightened to say no to him in case he gets upset and dumps her. Perhaps she does his laundry, lends him money and gives him gifts or sleeps with him too soon. She may put her own life on hold so she is always available to him and gives in to his last minute requests and demands.
Does he appreciate this? No, he does not. If she lets him walk all over her, he will not respect her and the relationship will be doomed. He will assume she is desperate. Or that she is easy. A man actually wants a woman who can stand up for herself and will look out for herself, despite what he says to the contrary. This is because a man wants a woman who values herself. If you give yourself away to someone you hardly know, you do not value yourself. And if you don’t place any value upon yourself then he certainly won’t. Men will value and respect you in accordance with the value and respect that you place upon yourself.
An immature man may encourage you to be selfless, and give generously to him, but he will only be interested in you as long as you are giving. As soon as you expect something in return, he will not be able to give back. You will end up exhausted and drained. This is 1 good reason to get to know him before you give too much!
Added to this, women who give too much in relationships are generally incapable of receiving because they don’t feel worthy. She feels uncomfortable if he pays for dinner or buys her gifts or helps her out in any way. She feels she should be independent and doesn’t like to ask for his help. However, a mature masculine man needs to feel needed by his woman. He is happy to help, as long as she admires his efforts. It is important to him to be significant. Generosity is a masculine trait and for this reason, a man will love to treat his dream girl. A woman who knows how to receive and appreciate will bring out the best in her man and make him feel good. These are the relationships that succeed, not the ones where a woman gives too much.
Instead, her giving makes him feel smothered. He senses her neediness and he feels uncomfortable with her expectations. He wonders when payback time will come. Such women are giving because they want something back. They want the relationship at any cost. Who the man is tends to be fairly irrelevant and he knows this. Without the relationship she feels empty and void.
If you are one of these women who give too much in relationships, then you are not alone. Most of us have been there at some point in our lives. Giving too much is generally an unconscious behaviour. We don’t even know we are doing it. Once you are aware of it, you can start to look at the reasons why you do it. Realise that now is the time to start placing a higher value on yourself so that a man will value you more. Start learning to receive as well as to give and appreciate every little thing that your man does for you. This will encourage him to give more and feel good about it. If you can do this, you will have more energy and happier relationships.
You can read more from Lucy at http://makemyrelationshipfabulous.info