5 Questions To Ask To Bring You And Your Boo Closer

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By Aiyana Ma’at

My husband and I receive questions all the time about how we maintain a happy relationship. Folks want to know how we manage running a business together along with raising 4 children.  We are often asked how we maintain a hot & healthy sex life (check out the convo I had a while back about me and hubby’s off the chain sex life). And, while there are all kinds of tricks and tips I could give; after thinking about it I realized that there is one thing that is ultimately responsible for the kind of relationship that my husband and I have. It is this: We are emotionally connected to each other. Yup, that’s a huge part of why we’re able to have a happy relationship. We make it a point to be vulnerable with each other and to make time to really be with each other.

I must say I think it’s a little easier for me than my husband. Ayize, like many men, can sometimes hold back a bit with how he feels (and I’m talking about deep feelings….from the heart and gut; not opinions from the head, etc.). When I sense that he’s doing that I go out of my way to let him know that I want to know what’s on his heart and that he can trust that I won’t judge his feelings.

Ayize does the same thing with me. He goes out of his way to make me feel emotionally safe and If I start to retreat or put up a wall…he’ll bug me until the wall melts away and I’m back in our safe space being vulnerable again.

My point? You have to be intentional about maintaining closeness between you and your partner. You have to have the right accepting and non-judgemental attitude and you have to be willing to go the extra mile for the one you love. Ayize and I are no different than any other couple. We have our issues, upsets, & arguments just like everyone else. But, at the end of the day our # 1 priority is to keep transparency, honesty, and trust between the two of us. When you get a taste of what that feels like you never want to lose it!

If you have it in your relationship then keep it going! If you don’t then be intentional about creating it. No matter where you fall take some time out to just be with your sweetheart and ask these 5 questions to bring you and your boo closer–(remember, no judgement):

  • If you had a magic wand and could change anything about our relationship, what would it be?
  • Are there some things in your life you’ve never told anyone? Would you feel comfortable telling me one of them?
  • What are three things you’d like me to consider doing differently in the bedroom?
  • What do you think are the three most important things in life?
  • What would your life be like if I weren’t in it? What things would you have done or not done?

5 Ways To Show Your Man That “You’ve Got Him” No Matter What

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By Tara Armstead

It was my daughter’s 11th birthday, and she screamed in awe when she opened the card containing tickets to her favorite rising music group’s concert: Mindless Behavior. My fiancee also thought it would be an added touch to take our family for a round of lazer tag followed by bowling. All was well. Then, during lazer tag, he decided to impress the crowd with a running start followed by a front roll on the ground before shooting targets. Impressive. Especially for a man over six feet tall and 240 pounds. It wasn’t until it was his turn to bowl in the well-lit alley that everyone saw the damage of his stunt: he’d ripped his shorts nearly in half up the back side. Blue polka dot boxers. Nice.

 

1. Respond to his motivations, not necessarily his actions.

 

When reliving that moment, words like ‘embarassment’ and ‘goofball’ come to mind. After all, he had made a fool of himself in front of strangers. I must, however, think of his true motivation. His goal was to make sure that my daughter had fun, even at his expense. So after working 12 straight hours, he found his second wind and took my extended family out on the town when he should have been getting some rest before his next long work shift. A labor of love. Even when our loved ones mean well, sometimes things do not turn out perfectly. As long as we keep our eye on their heart, a true love won’t let us down.

 

2. Be a listener.

 

This one can be tough, especially when we have so much to say! Listen ACTIVELY. It is usually not good enough to be silent while simply thinking ahead to the next point we’d like to make. Listen to strengthen your connection. The goal is to further understand your partner, not to trap him in his own words.

 

3. Celebrate all the bright spots.

 

Take that refreshing walk down memory lane and stop by all the good times to share a laugh. Regardless of how long you’ve been together, never lose sight of what you’ve always adored about each other. The bowling alley spectators may have dismissed the ripped shorts and boxers as simply uncouth, but later we could grin about the fun we had shopping for them together.

 

4. Build him up.

 

Chances are your guy wants to feel like he’s the king of your jungle! Blame it on the testosterone, I guess. Throwing a little praise his way can’t hurt. Guys love to know how much we adore them.

 

5. Be patient. This too shall pass.

 

Nothing worth having comes easy, and your relationship is included. Expect to have to work at making it a fulfilling relationship with numerous rewards. Look at the rainy days as preparation for fun in the sun. In the meantime, dance!

 

Tara Armstead’s divorce in 2004 after a brief marriage was eye-opening for her. She thanks God that she did not give up on love and happiness. She’s learned that life is what we make it, and fulfilling relationships are built one day, one experience, one action, one word at a time. Visit her at MakeItLastForever.com

 

 

I May Not Be There For You If You Choose To Keep The Baby

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VIDEO: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for the past two years. Prior to the relationship we were good friends. We’re in our early twenties and we’re pretty much in a long distance relationship due to the fact that he’s in the military. When he isn’t deployed or underway we see each other 4-10 times a month. We have a pretty good relationship in which we are honest with each other and committed. However a month ago (before he left for an underway) we had a pregnancy scare. Neither of us are ready for a child but I believe that at our age we cannot play the victim for an accident and abuse the rights to abortion.  As adults we must own up to our responsibilities and keep and raise the child. My boyfriend initially voiced otherwise insisting upon other options (adoption, abortion). He then continued on about how he’s not ready for a child and does not believe he would make a suitable father. He continued even further to say that if I keep the child he does not want any part in the child’s life. Upon seeing my upset reaction he said that he still loves me , that he was simply voicing his current emotions and that upon confirmation of a pregnancy he does not know if he would react and proceed in the same manner. Unfortunately, right after he voiced his opinion it was time for him to leave and we were not able to hatch out everything. With that said that night has been replaying in my head almost everyday since he’s been gone and festering with what I should do and how I should approach the conversation when he gets back. I still love him but that doesn’t change the fact that he hurt me and left me questioning his commitment to the relationship. Based on his initial reaction is it time to call quits because he failed to meet my unspoken expectations of supporting  me and taking responsibility for not just mine but our actions? Or should I respect the fact that he was honest with me about his emotions (a little too honest) which he did not act on by ending our relationship and attempt to work it out upon his arrival?
BLAM Fam..What are your thoughts about this viewer’s situation.

52 Fantastic Dates For Fearless Married Couples

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By Keishia Lee-Louis

You mean we still have to date? Couples looking to renew their relationships ask this question all of the time. The answer is a resounding YES!!! It’s the best way to ward off infidelity and a lack of satisfaction with your relationship.

Think about it. Wasn’t that the most interesting time in your relationship? You and your spouse were just getting to know one another and everything was fresh and new.

If you want to keep the spark in your marriage, sometimes you have to act as though you’re still dating. No kids, no bills, no work. Nothing to distract you from getting to know each other a little better.

Here are 52 ideas for great dates. One for each week of the year. I’m not saying that’s how often you should go out. I’m just providing some fuel for your fire.

And notice– not once do I mention movies. No matter how fun they are, it’s time to broaden your scope. From daring to romantic, here they are:

1. Visit a Safari park

2. Be tourists again, and tour your local historic site.

3. Go to the museum

4. Take in a play

5. Ride bikes in the park and have a picnic

6. Go roller skating/blading

7. Try your hand at bowling

8. Check out the planetarium

9. Take a cooking class together

10. Swim at the beach or lake

11. Go to an amusement park

12. Sing karaoke

13. Play pool

14. Get salsa lessons– or try the tango

15. Fly a kite

16. Go rock climbing– indoors or out

17. Hear some cool jazz

18. Try a poetry slam

19. Go line dancing

20. Try some tapas

21. See an opera

22. Check out a baseball game

23. Go to a book signing

24. Become putt-putt golf pros

25. Drive a race car

26. Play video games at an arcade

27. Walk along the pier

28. Ride in a glider

29. Run a race

30. Go to a hockey game

31. Eat at a Brazilian steakhouse

32. Solve clues at a mystery dinner theatre

33. Laugh at a comedy club

34. Embark on a dinner cruise

35. Make your personalized teddy bears

36. Find fish fascinating at the aquarium

37. Take a hike

38. Grab a cup of coffee and a decadent treat

39. Check out a concert under the stars

40. Feed each other fondue

41. Take a hot air balloon ride

42. Visit a vineyard

43. Treat yourself to the spa

44. Curl up next to a fire and read to each other

45. Be pampered at a bed & breakfast

46. Sit for a portrait

47. Go skiing

48. Ride in a helicopter

49. Catch the carnival while it’s in town

50. Go antiquing (or junkin’ depending upon your perspective)

51. Watch ’em ride at the rodeo

52. Make memories in an art/photography class

Keishia Lee-Louis work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in numerous printed publications.

Are Pics Of Past Girlfriends A Problem?

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VIDEO: Trust is an essential part of a relationship. In order to establish and maintain a healthy relationship you’ve got to know when to responsibly lower and lift your guards. Occasionally, because trust has been broken in our relationships we recondition ourselves to look for and expect deceit to be forever present. It’s in those times where we’ve discovered another opportunity to distrust that we are confronted with the challenge of bailing out or remaining invested in the relationship. In time when your trust is tested what do you do? Do you confront your partner or silently build up a wall of resentment?

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Five Simple (Yet Critical) Steps To Finding A Life Partner

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By Eileen Edwards

Walk these 5 steps to relationship success.

 

“Of course I want a life partner you may be saying why else would I read this?” Our society considers it important for women to be in a relationship. There is still a perception in many quarters that a woman without a relationship is unhappy. Our friends and relatives want us to be happy and fulfilled and so encourage us to find a life partner. The media also exerts pressure on women to be part of a couple. Many women have mixed feelings about this, which often shows up in them selecting unavailable partners. This is particularly true where the woman concerned has a history of choosing unavailable men. We all have a right to choose a partner or not choose one. We also have a right to decide when we will choose our life partner. If you are enjoying life as a single and currently have no desire to find a life partner please continue to enjoy your life as a single. Only you can decide when and if to choose a life partner.

If you are looking for a life partner, to meet new people, or simply fancy dating in New York, then visit Badoo, where you can experience all of this and more.

Step 2. Define your life partner.

 

Whether you want a new pair of shoes, jacket, home or life partner you can’t have it until you define it. If you have any doubts about this imagine the following. You are at the Railway Station and ask for “a ticket ” “a ticket to where?” would be the response. “Somewhere nice” you might say or ” somewhere where I will be happy”. Its clear what type of response you would receive. It would be along these lines ” madam, until I know exactly where you want to go I can’t provide you with a ticket” It’s exactly the same with a life partner we have to have a clear picture of him before we can find him. “What do I mean by a clear picture?” you may be asking. You need to know what kind of man you want to share your life with and what kind of life you want the two of you to share. Your answer to those two questions will be as individual as you are. For example I am an animal lover and would not have chosen a partner who disliked or was indifferent to animals. Here are some headings to help you identify your ideal man. His looks, height, build, hair colour, eye colour etc? His personality outgoing, quiet, demonstrative, sporty whatever appeals to you? His lifestyle, what kind of work he does, home he lives in, car he drives, how he spends his spare time? Of course finding a life partner isn’t like ordering a take away pizza you may not get all that you desire. The important thing is to know on what you will and will not compromise. For example you might think “I can live with some untidiness but not a man who can’t get on with my parents” Or ” I’ll watch football every Saturday for the right man but he has to be someone who takes my opinions seriously”. It is also important to visualise your shared future, the type of life that you would live together.

 

Step 3. Get pro-active.

 

It’s only in fairy stories that the handsome prince beats a path to our door. In reality we have to make an effort to find him. This means getting out and about and being in situations where you will meet males. This may seem obvious. Many women who don’t have time to socialise due to work or domestic responsibilities have problems in finding a life partner. If you are in this situation there is a technique’ which is perfect for you. Its called “random and specific search”. Even if you have lots of time to socialise I would still recommend that you use it. Most women only look out for their ideal man when they are in social situations. In reality attractive available men are around all the time. Just like you they travel to work on the train, walk their dog, go to the supermarket, attend evening classes, take their Mother out to dinner, they may even use a unisex hairdresser. I am not suggesting that you give your home number to every attractive man you exchange a few words with in the park or supermarket. Begin by being aware that attractive available men some of whom you would certainly like to know better surround you. Situations with an ongoing element are particularly useful for example evening classes or interest groups. These will allow you to meet, talk with and observe the behaviour of potential partners in a number of situations. I’ve just described the random element of random and specific search. The specific element is fairly self-explanatory. For example my friend’s elder sister was happily married to a Greek man. She wanted to follow in her footsteps and visited Greece as often as her budget would allow, ate in Greek restaurants and learnt Greek dance.

 

Step 4. Qualify potential partners

 

When you apply to work for a company you go through a qualification process. That process normally begins with completing an application form and/or submitting your CV. If you are successful at this stage you then attend one or more interviews before being hired for a trial period. In choosing someone to do work on your home or garden you would probably ask friends and neighbours if there was someone that they could recommend. You might enquire about what trade associations your prospective gardener or builder belonged to. Or ask to see some work that they had already completed. Amazingly most women choose a potential life partner on the basis of he has a great smile, lovely blue eyes or a wicked sense of humour. In seeking a life partner you are offering and applying for the most important position possible. So it’s important to go through a qualifying process rather like that mentioned above. Not doing so means that you could waste months or even years with someone who never makes the commitment to being your partner. Dates are a little like life partner interviews although of course much more fun. Using the insights of psychology it’s simple to know quickly, within one or two dates if a particular man is life partner materiel as far as you are concerned. Top tip don’t observe how he treats you on dates but how he treats others. Any man on a date with you will be out to impress you so he will obviously be pleasant to you. If he isn’t he has immediately disqualified himself as your future life partner. Observe how he treats your waitress or taxi driver; someone who isn’t important to him and you will see his true personality.

 

Step 5. Overcome obstacles

 

These come in two forms. If he is attrcative to you he will be attractive to other women. You can’t stop this and in a way you wouldn’t want to. After all they are complimenting you on your choice. Using the insights of psychology can give a number of ways to ensure he chooses you. Space only permits me to share one tip here. It’s this- recognise his individuality. Modern society can make us feel like numbers rather than the unique individuals which we are. It’s important to let him see that to you he is a unique and very special individual. Secondly, most women reading this will probably have had some negative relationship experiences in the past. Psychologists know that our perspective is greatly influenced by our past experiences. We expect the things that happened in the past to happen again. Yet there is no logical reason why they should. Your new man isn’t the one who cheated on you in the past, never showed up on time or saw you as a source of free meals and financial handouts. So you are both starting out with a clean slate in this relationship So now you are ready to walk the five steps to relationship success. Don’t just think about it. Do it, you’ll be glad that you did.

 

Eileen is a psychologist with a special interest in dating and relationships. She turned her life around in this area as a young woman and now helps other women do the same. Visit her at Eileenedwards.co.uk

My Man Wants To Marry Me…But I’m Concerned Because He’s Not Self Sufficient

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VIDEO: I’m so glad I came across your channel on you tube.  You guys are great. Here is my situation. My bf and I have been dating for close to three years.  He is 35 and I am 34 and we do not have kids. We are both college grads. I want to be engaged this year. I gave him an ultimatium-if we do not get engaged this year we are over.  He has agreed, but  his mother is a real issue. See, my bf still lives at home with his mother. Bascially she has manipulated him to a T. She pays his car issurance, cooks his breakfast, washes his clothes etc. I have been the one to lift the veil off and he has come to his senses recently-and realizes he needs to man up and do for himself-each time he does his mother puts a guilt trip on him. He recently informed me he wants to move out and move in with me. Now, I have reservations about that. I want to be engaged before we live together? PS Should I embrace his way of growing and becoming his own man or should I bail?

PS Background we met when we were in the fourth grade. I transferred out of the school a year later and never saw him again, until 22 years later on a busy street in Manhattan. I feel we are kindred, but I don’t get why our relationship is so slow to get to the next level. He says he’s saving for a ring, but most of the time his money goes to Mommy dearest. Also, my parents feel that I am wasting my time and I can be dating and perhaps meet someone else who is ready. They feel as though my clock is ticking away!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.  Thanks.

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CLICK HERE to get your RELATIONSHIP ASSESSMENT

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Want A Seriously Strong Marriage? Set Relationship Goals.

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By Richard Nicastro

When you consider what your relationship needs, consider the laws of gravity. An object that is set in motion will continue to move, unless something stands in its way. On the flip side, a motionless object will never move unless something acts upon it. Your relationship or marriage will remain inert unless you act to put it and keep it in motion. And, just as day-to-day goals keep you moving from one task to the next, setting goals for your relationship will infuse your relationship with that vital momentum.

When you and your partner work together to create goals that improve or maintain the health of your relationship, you also create an atmosphere of collegiality and companionship. Relationship goals will help you and your partner remain focused whenever the relationship goes through the difficult transitions that all unions experience. These goals can also act as the antidote to the stagnation and lethargy that can creep into any marriage over time.

Establishing relationship goals does not have to be a complicated process. In fact, the simpler and more straightforward the goal, the better. The biggest challenge you’ll face is remaining consistent in your efforts toward reaching your goals.

Working toward your relationship goals means working to become a better partner to your mate. A word of warning, though: Do not establish goals for your partner! Focus on establishing your own goals, your partner should focus on his/her goals, and the two of you can create joint goals (e.g., traveling more, spending more time socializing with other couples, sharing household tasks).

Relationship goals—Where to begin:

First, pick an area of your relationship that you’d like to work on. Here are some examples:

1. Communication goals: How can you become a better communicator? This might involve asking your partner more questions about his/her job, not interrupting your partner while s/he is speaking, or stating your needs more directly.

2. Compassion/support goals: This might involve asking your partner what s/he needs, driving him/her to a doctor’s appointment, or setting aside a certain amount of time each day to check in with each other.

3. Affection/love goals: How often and how clearly do you express your emotions? Being affectionate can take on many different forms: directly with loving statements; through touch, such as hand-holding or a shoulder rub; or by establishing special gestures that only the two of you share. Establishing goals to be more demonstrative means finding creative ways to express loving feelings on a regular basis.

3. Negotiation/compromise goals: Being in a committed relationship means learning to compromise. Taking steps to appreciate your partner’s viewpoint (even when you may not agree with him/her) sends the message that you take your partner’s needs seriously. Negotiating and learning to “agree to disagree” are essential for the health of your relationship.

4. Commitment goals: You can’t feel an intimate connection with another human being unless you first feel safe with him/her. When you demonstrate commitment, you lay the groundwork for emotional safety and therefore, for intimacy. Think of commitment like a safety net: even during difficult times, that commitment will be there to break your fall. Establishing commitment goals might involve spending more time with your partner or making decisions that clearly demonstrate that your relationship is a top priority in your life.

5. Physical intimacy goals: Take steps to become a more attuned, responsive sexual partner. For instance, take the time to discover all the ways in which your partner would like to be sexually satisfied or come to an agreement with your partner regarding how often you’d both like to make love.

6. Shared interests/activities goals: The most successful married couples cite friendship as a key ingredient of their long-term success. Work toward developing activities that you both enjoy and that you both enjoy sharing with one another. You might try a new activity together each month, such as taking tennis lessons or learning to speak a new language.

7. Household responsibility goals: How involved are you with completing household chores? Does it feel like the work is equally or fairly divided? The mundane details of daily life (things like cooking, shopping, cleaning) should be negotiated, not just assumed by default. Find out if your partner is happy with the current arrangement by asking if there is more that you can do.

This list is by no means exhaustive. Reflect on the areas of your relationship that you’d like to improve. Do some introspecting on your own and also think back to feedback you may have already received from your partner. For instance, if your partner has questioned your commitment by noting, “You never call when you say you’re going to,” you can develop a goal to show your commitment by becoming more reliable in following through on your promises.

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Visit him at StrengthenYourRelationship.com

The Unspoken Rules That Run Your Relationship

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By: Richard Nicastro

No matter how we might resist them at times, we can’t deny the presence of rules in society. From traffic lights to ticket sales, rules help us avoid chaos and establish routines that allow us to cope as a society. But beyond the macrocosm, rules are an important presence in the microcosm of your relationship–even when they’re unspoken or seemingly invisible.

Your Relationship Rules

Your relationship rules influence how you and your partner relate to one another: how emotions are expressed, the way in which needs are communicated, how family and friends are dealt with and how intimacy is expressed.

Ideally, you and your partner will openly communicate and negotiate the different rules that are important to each of you. But this isn’t always the case: Couples are often guided by powerful rules that remain unspoken. Because you learned many of these rules as a child, you may not even be aware of the impact of your relationship rules.

There may be times when your relationship proceeds smoothly under the influence of the unspoken rules that guide you and your partner–this is usually the case when your rules do not conflict with your partner’s rules. But when these rules remain unspoken, your relationship or marriage becomes a game of chance. Becoming mindful of these hidden, powerful rules will increase the control you and your partner have in strengthening your relationship.

Unspoken Intimacy Rules:

Emotional intimacy (as well as physical intimacy) is one of the most important areas of your relationship that is influenced by unspoken rules.

There are as many ways to create an intimate, emotional connection as there are people. Intimacy is a very personal experience–what can feel like a meaningful connection to you might feel very different to your partner. Ideally, you and your partner are compatible in your need for and expression of intimacy. When major incompatibilities exist, it will be essential for you and your partner to accept the different paths you each travel to achieve intimacy.

Your unspoken intimacy rules influence:

1. Whether emotional closeness will be central or peripheral in your relationship.

2. The methods you use to achieve emotional and physical intimacy.

3. The level of emotional vulnerability that will be allowed in your relationship.

4. How much together-time you and your partner share.

5. How much alone-time you’ll each need.

A brief example of intimacy rules at work:

Aaron grew up in a family where it was obvious what everyone was feeling. His parents and sister openly expressed themselves, whether this involved celebrating the good or talking about the painful. If you had a feeling in Aaron’s family, it was expected that you would communicate whatever you were feeling.

Aaron’s childhood relationships created an important rule that governs Aaron’s behavior in his marriage:

Sharing feelings = emotional intimacy

His wife Shontae learned a different set of rules in her family. As a child she often had to care for her ill father. She described him as depressed and, at times, explosive. For Shontae, it felt dangerous to share her feelings–Shontae and her mother often bottled up their emotions. But Shontae did learn to feel connected in her family. A deep emotional connection grew between her and her father as Shontae took on the role of caregiver. She felt loved and appreciated whenever she cared for her ailing father, who was able to show gratitude toward his daughter for the first time in their relationship.

Shontae’s childhood relationships created an important rule that governs Shontae’s behavior in her marriage:

Caring for others = emotional intimacy

As you can imagine, the different unspoken intimacy rules that influence Aaron and Shontae led to some challenging times in their marriage. They both yearned for emotional connection but were incompatible in how to achieve this desired level of intimacy. Becoming aware of their own and each other’s unspoken rules was an important step in creating a more harmonious, intimate relationship.

So the challenge for you is to become mindful of the rules you’ve learned along the way to adulthood and are now applying to your intimate relationship. Talking with your partner about the different ways you each achieve intimacy will help unearth the unspoken rules that guide both of you. This level of understanding can bring you closer to each other today and help you avoid major pitfalls tomorrow.

To discover other ways to create a deeper, more intimate relationship visit http://StrengthenYourRelationship.com/ and sign up for Dr. Nicastro’s free Relationship Toolbox Newsletter.

As a bonus, you will receive the popular free reports: “The four mindsets that can topple your relationship” and “Relationship self-defense: Control the way you argue…before your arguments control you.”

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples protect the sanctuary of their relationship. Rich and his wife Lucia founded LifeTalk Coaching, an internet-based coaching business that helps couples strengthen their relationships.

How Important Is Touch In A Relationship?

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By Brett Smith

Have you ever held your partner’s hand and felt a tingling sensation through every cell in your body? Ever yearned for a hug from your partner, more than anything else in the world? Is it an essential part of relationships?

Humans thrive on touch. Research has shown that, for humans and animals, a lack of physical contact can lead to emotional disturbances, reduced sexual interest and even a weakened immune system.

Studies have shown that infants deprived of skin contact lose weight and can become ill. Online dating site Partner4real.com has found that touch was as important in some relationships as sex, conversation & commitment.

“Touch is as important as breathing,” explains researcher Tiffany Field. Without it, children do not grow and develop.

“Sensory deprivation makes people depressed and immune-compromised, and gives them emotional pain and physical damage,” she says.

We all crave our partner’s touch but it can be difficult for some men to admit they need it. From a young age, many boys are discouraged to go running to their mother for comfort when things get tough.

When they grow into men, they may then associate hugs with weakness, and may show a lack of affection to their partners. Humans not only thrive on touch, but relationships do too.

Some women in relationships complain that their partner only initiates physical contact as a precursor to sex. And yet many women crave physical intimacy so much that they sometimes agree to have sex simply to fulfil this desire for warmth and closeness.

But there is a lot to be said for touch for touch’s sake. Listen up men: try lightly brushing your partner’s arm or gently squeezing her hand as you walk past her. And if you fancy something a little more intimate, a 10 to 15 minute massage from your partner a few times a week can work wonders in relationships.