5 LIES Married Men Tell To Desperate Women

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By Ruth Purple

If you are involved with a married man and believe it’s going somewhere, well think again. Married men are wily, wicked creatures. They will tell you everything and anything under the sun to make you believe that you have a future with them. When in fact, only 3% of philandering married men will leave their wives for their mistresses… this means that you have a 3% chance of“happy ending,” that’s a very slim chance.

Now, he may like you a lot or even love you, but not enough to leave his wife and kids. However, if ever you do end up together, there is an equally slimmer chance that he will be faithful with you, as the saying goes, “if he cheats with you, he will cheat on you.”

In spite of all these seemed impossible chances of having a future with married men, why are there still so many gullible women who still believe them? I guess one of the possible reasons is that they are unaware of the lies married men tell.

Men can tell a whole lot of lies just to keep you hanging around, if you hear one or more of these lies, it’s time to turn away.

* “I don’t love my wife anymore.” This is one of the most common lies married men tell simply because there is no concrete way of proving this to you. You just have to take Pinocchio’s word for it. If he throws you this line, tell him to man- up, settle his rut before whoring around.

* “We’re only in the marriage for the children.” This is the perfect excuse married men tell, because somehow it triggers the sympathy factor- a noble act of giving-up his own happiness for the children’s sake. This is all trash, if he is really a good father as he is trying to imply, then he should be at home, trying to be a good role model to his children and making things right with his children’s mother rather than trying to get to bed with you.

* “We’re not having sex anymore.” Or “We’re not sleeping together for a long time.” Then there must be a good reason, and if things are that bad at home, then why is he still there? If he is trying to work on his lousy marriage, then why is he being smooth with you? It just does not add up. Do not fall it.

* “We really want a divorce, but we can’t afford it.” Married men who use this line must be from, “Loserville.” He cannot afford a divorce, but he can afford to have an affair with you. You must be as stupid as he is to fall for this line.

* “I’m leaving her soon.” Or “I’m leaving her as soon as…” Usually, married men use this line when they sense that you are slowly pulling away. Remember, if he wanted to leave his wife, he could have done it way back when he realized their marriage is not working.

Married men are bored and they need distractions; they want someone who can ease up their tensions. They are not looking for relationships; they are not looking for “you and me forever,” they just want someone to play around with, at the end of the day; they go home to the people that matters to their life, and that is not you.

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships.  You can check more of her work at http://www.relazine.com

7 Simple Steps To Build Trust In Your Relationship

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By Justin Drama

Did you know that there are seven concrete ways to build trust in a relationship? Often, what we think of first is not what really makes a relationship work. For example, if you are always thinking you need to spice things up, you’re wrong! Being predictable is much more important than being spontaneous in a relationship. Here are seven different methods that are guaranteed to improve your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

Firstly, as previously mentioned, be predictable. Even though that does go against the common notion that you need to stir things up in a romance to keep it alive. Taking your partner out to a new restaurant or surprising them with a gift is nice, but what we really need, is for things to be consistent in order to make our relationship work. Being reliable day in and day out is what brings trust to a relationship.

Secondly, your words need to match the message. You have to make sure your body language matches the words that are coming out of your mouth. If you are frowning and say you are happy, you’re partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and hears the tone of your voice. When your words match your message, you build trust in your relationship.

Third, you need to believe in your partner being a competent person. Trust is extremely important in a relationship. The truth is never hurtful if spoken in the right loving way. If you believe your partner is not competent at some thing, you are violating the trust in a relationship.

Fourth, DO NOT keep secrets. A secret can destroy the trust in a relationship. You have to be honest and open. Also, assume that everything you know will eventually come out of the box. It takes a lot of energy to keep a secret, when that energy could just be put into building a relationship further.

Fifth, you have needs and you should not let your partner be afraid to know what those needs are. Don’t let your partner guess your needs, let him or her know. Don’t be selfish, be self-centered, there is a difference. Don’t take this advice too far, or you may end up smothering your partner.

Sixth, always learn to say no. Don’t be a yes man or woman to everything your partner says. A partner, or anybody for that matter, can not respect you if you never say no. Saying no to your partner actually helps build trust in a relationship.

Lastly, pursue healthy growth. Relationships are NEVER perfect, there will be some ups and down, and from both of these your relationship grows. Do not be afraid of crisis or turmoil. This is what helps your relationship grow.

So, now that you have decided to work on your trust in a relationship, you will encounter a few road bumps. But, if you work through them, you not only become a stronger person individually, but also as a tandem with your partner.

Life For Rent: Confessions Of A Mistress

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By Ruth Purple

The mistress, you can’t hate her enough. If you can skin and burn her alive, you know you would. You can’t help but be overwhelmed with anger.

But stop, pause and ask yourself- is all that hatred and anger worth it? “When a wife gets into all kinds of trouble to get even, she is only acknowledging the mistress’ role. The mistress feels recognized, accepted. It’s kind of twisted when you think about it, but a mistress feels fulfilled in some way when a wife confronts her. The moment you face her, she feels triumphant…” says a Sandra, a former mistress. “Never exhaust your energy on the mistress you are only wasting it…” she continues.

Sandra tells all…

“I was a mistress for three years, until I got really hurt.

At first, I was in it for the fun and excitement. I was really attracted to him. I knew he was married for 10 years, but he said it was shaky and he was not happy anymore. During that time I really felt sorry for him for being trapped in a lousy marriage. When we were together I can see that he was having a time of his life. As time went by he told me that his wife was starting to suspect and that we should lay low for a while. We saw each other under his terms… only when ‘it’s safe.’ Believe me, it was really frustrating.

I felt used. This is just one of the thousands of disappointment I had to endure.

When you are a mistress you:

• Can’t go out on public with him.

• Can’t be with him during holidays.

• Can’t help feeling jealous when he dates his wife.

• Have to get used to broken promises.

• Can’t help feeling used when he leaves you and go home to his wife.

• Can get tired of the sneaking and fear of getting caught.

• Can’t totally trust him.

• You can’t call on him but he can call on you anytime he wants.

• You are the first one to go when finances are tight.

Somehow I learned to cope with this. But what really broke me into pieces was when he sent me a text message telling me that his wife knew. ‘I can’t see you anymore. I’m really, really sorry. My wife is going to file for divorce when we continue to see each other. I can’t afford that to happen. I am really sorry. Goodbye. Please don’t reply.’ This was his exact mobile message.

I was so pissed off that I called his house asked for his wife and spilled everything about the affair. But I was stunned and shut to silence when the wife laughed and answered. ‘I’m sorry, dear. I have a husband and children to take care of. Have a nice day …’ she put the phone down and never heard from them again. I never felt disgusted in my whole life.

If you are attracted to a married man- forget about it! If you are planning to have an affair- don’t! If you are in an affair- get out now! You will always be disposable. Value your life- find a good man. Never allow yourself to get used. If you are in an affair now, don’t think that your relationship is anything special, because in the end you still end up alone… and relationships are not supposed to be that way.”

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.  You can read more from Ruth at http://www.relazine.com

HELP!!!!! I’m Haunted By The Thoughts Of My Spouse’s Affair

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By Denise A. Dilmore

Affair surviving is a journey which no one should have to live through. Being betrayed, humiliated and lied to by the one person you thought you could trust is devastating and life shattering.

When a painful or tragic event has taken place, envisioning negative images is a natural process for the mind to engage in. The mind will start processing these thoughts over and over again. One tormenting scene will play itself out and then lead to another. Then the first scene will come about all over again!

If you are affair surviving and dealing with tormenting images of your spouse with another lover, you are not alone. Between 2 to 6 men out of every 10 males you meet will have had an affair. And women are not that far behind. Between 1 and 5 women out of every 10 females will engage in an affair. The reason I share this information is not to depress you. But to reassure you that there are many solutions and methods that have been established in dealing with your tormenting thoughts.

So what steps can you take to deal with the tormenting images that seemingly haunt you every second of the day?

1. The first step in stopping your tormenting thoughts is to realize you are thinking negative. That may sound obvious, but once you start becoming aware of it, you’ll be surprised how fast you can change your thought patterns.

2. Notice what triggers these images. What feelings do you experience which are bringing these images on? Are you feeling angry, jealous or revengeful? Train yourself to become aware of what your triggers are.

3.Make a decision not to think about or dwell on the affair details. Affair surviving is about rebuilding your once happy loving marriage. Obviously, something has gone wrong in the relationship for the affair to have occurred in the first place. The affair “details” are irrelevant and a “by-product” of the relationships troubles.

4. Stop telling yourself “I can’t get these images out of my mind.” Guess what? If you keep repeating this to yourself, then you really won’t be able to get the awful images out of your mind. Make an effort to constantly tell yourself “I don’t have to think these thoughts.” You may not believe it right away, but soon enough the images will appear less and less.

5.Remember, “What you think on expands.” If you choose to re-live the affair over and over again, affair surviving will get more difficult. If you ask yourself, what have we learned and how can we fix this, your perspective changes and the painful images will eventually dissipate.

6. Distract your mind and try to replace the time you spend visualizing the affair with something else. A hobby which requires some concentration is a great thing to get involved in seeing as it distracts the mind. Focusing on your children is another great way to keep your mind distracted.

7.Write down your blessing and keep it with you wherever you go. Although affair surviving is beyond difficult, realize you do have many blessings in your life to be grateful for. We often get tunnel vision when experiencing difficult times. Making an effort to start a list of things to be thankful for is crucial. When starting to experience tormenting thoughts, pull out your list and review what you have written down.

Offering advice on affair surviving is difficult. I realize when you’re in the midst of going through all the difficult feelings and images, often any advice can seem trivial. Know there are plenty of helpful resources to help stop the tormenting images and get your marriage back on track. Be assured, many couples have gotten through the difficult times and have had great success in rebuilding a strong loving marriage.

Denise A. Dilmore is the editor of http://howtosurviveanaffair.ca/ an article based website exploring the healing process of infidelity. For more resources and effective ways to survive an affair and save your marriage, get our free 7-part program. Visithttp://howtosurviveanaffair.ca/articles/free-resources/ for instant access to your Free Program Now.

Dear Married Men: Keep Your “Balls” To Yourself

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By Ruth Purple

Extramarital affairs, it seems as if everybody’s doing it- Presidents, Senators, Governors, golfers, bosses, friends, cousins, family members… you thought, why not try the fun and excitement yourself. If they can do it, why can’t you, right? Well, if those people can give you a piece of advice, they will tell you right on your face to, “KEEP YOUR BALLS TO YOURSELF!”

Yes, extramarital affair can give you the thrill and “sexcitement” you have long been missing for. But believe me, from your pleasure; a hundred folds of pain will come back to slap you on the face. So, if you are thinking of getting involved in an extramarital affair, think a million times first. Here are some big reasons why you should avoid having an affair.

* You can lose your family.

Is it really worth it? All the fun and excitement in exchange for your wife and children?

* You will lose your power and influence in the relationship. Practically, this means that your wife will never respect you, your children will no longer look up to you, you will lose your rights to decide in your own home, and you will be that voice that nobody listens to.

* You will lose your credibility. Nobody will trust you again. People in your home and in your office will doubt every word that comes out of your mouth. Your colleagues will gossip about you, and your family members and friends will think what a jerk you are.

You will never have access to your own finances. Your wife will demand it and you can never say no.

After your extramarital affair extravagance, you’re lucky enough to get a penny out of your pay check.

* You will lose all your privileges and benefits. To say the least, you can never touch the remote, never go bowling or go out drinking with the boys. You can never use the car unless going to and from the office. But the biggest privilege you are going to be deprive of is the cookie… you will be lucky if you can touch the tip of your wife’s hair.

* You will lose your privacy. You will be required to give your e-mail password and phone log to your wife.

* An ex-convict has more freedom than you. An ex-con is usually required to report to his parole officer regularly. In your case, you are required to report to your wife every thirty minutes or so with a curfew of 9PM.

* You will be susceptible to blackmails. Remember David Letterman? If it happened to him, it can happen to you. Plus, there’s a huge possibility that the other woman will threaten you about the extramarital affair.

Extramarital affair, it’s really not worth it. I promise you, it always ends badly. No doubt, you will regret it. I guarantee you that the people you love and care will get hurt. So when you feel that your marriage sucks and you’re not happy, then face the problem like a man. Don’t have an affair! Extramarital affairs don’t lead to happiness, it destroys it.

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.  You can read more from Ruth at http://www.relazine.com


Falling Down And Getting Up – Again

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By Neysa Ellery Taylor

It’s funny how God will slap you upside the head when you least expect it. Let’s be honest – recently I haven’t been passing the test. If you are a frequent reader of this site, you know that some recent comments on posts I’ve written have been… well, let’s just say unpleasant. And I didn’t handle it well. I was mad. (I would actually write I was f-ing p***** but the Ma’at’s have a no cussing policy.) It wasn’t so much the comments that were flying at me. I’m used to that. I am the one that put my life on blast by writing about it and I recognize that people are allowed to have different opinions. But it was the level of malice with the false air of familiarity that got under my skin. So much so that I had to pause for a second and regroup.

By regrouping; I mean I had to pause, shut up, and really remember how God has blessed me. See 5 years ago, I was a mess. (Truth be told, I’m still a mess but just a bit less of a mess.) Then my world crumbled when my marriage did. And I behaved badly. For years I was a functioning angeraholic. I literally cussed out more people than I could count. I wrote nasty emails. At one point I even threw punches. I was raging out of control. But I was hard headed. Until one day it all came crashing down.

I actually know the exact date of my road to Damascus moment. My husband had been caught cheating – again. My health was failing. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. That night before I went to bed, I literally cried out to God, “Help me or don’t wake me up because I can’t do this anymore.” I went to sleep and woke up lighter. Pastors always say “joy comes in the morning” but I never believed it until it happened to me. Nothing about my situation had changed, but I had changed. God gave me hope. Not hope in my marriage but hope in Him. And as long as I had faith in Him and was hearing from Him, everything else was manageable. I knew that God would take care of me whether my husband left or not. I knew that God would take care of me as long as I obeyed Him. My prayer was no longer “God please save my marriage.” It became “Your will be done.” That shift in spirit and mindset made all the difference.

So fast forward a few years and I can admit that I handled the comments poorly. I led with anger. In the book The Bait of Satan, John Bevere writes that “just because you are mistreated, you do not have permission to hold on to an offense.” That is what I immediately did. I got angry and held onto the offense. Like everyone who tries to stay on the good foot, I trip from time to time. Donnie McClurkin even wrote a song about it. But now I know that if I fall down; it’s time to stay down, get on my knees, and pray. That’s what I have to do to keep myself on the right path. The more that I keep myself on the path, the better person I am which in turn means that I am a better wife and mother.

This is what I try to convey at 7am CST every Monday through Friday with the #marriageprayer on twitter. I try to remind myself to start the day on the right path. I start the day thanking God not only for who He is but for all that He’s done in my life. Saving my marriage is awesome. But that’s just icing on the cake. I am most thankful that He not only saved me but continues to save me daily.

Neysa Ellery Taylor is an integral part of the writing team here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Chris, and their 4 children – Asyen, Maya, Preston, and Patrick. An Emmy-Award winning journalist, she hopes to share her passion for marriage and God through her writing. You can read more of her work at Myriadthatisme.blogspot.com.

Once A Cheater Always A Cheater?

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By Ruth Purple

Once a cheater, always a cheater- yes we are all familiar with this maxim. However, personally, the choice to heed or not to heed this said adage depends on how sincerely sorry the person in question is. And often than not, the truth always comes out with regard to sincerity. Sadly, the truth oftentimes involves cheating again.

I’m not the only one who thinks so, my friend Maria, who has been there, done that, daringly said, “Once a cheater always a cheater. Like an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic even if they never drink again.

It’s in their blood to cheat. They may not cheat as often but once an opportunity arises, they cheat because that’s who they are and always will be. It takes a very strong and dedicated person to decide on their own not to cheat.” These are strong words. Nevertheless, I totally agree with her when she said that it takes a strong and dedicated person to decide on their own not to cheat. In my e-book, “You Can Get Him Back, Winning Your Man Back From Infidelity.” You will know that he or she is sincerely sorry with the effort he/ she is willing to go through in proving him or (her) self. In other words, if the cheater doesn’t show genuine desire to reform, then there is no hope for the habitual cheater to change.

To help you figure out if the reformed cheater is willing to change his or her ways, look for these signs:

* The reformed philanderer admits his philandering ways and is willing to do whatever it takes to change it.

* The reformed philanderer is very enthusiastic in proving himself to you. The cheater is fully aware that there will be tough terrains ahead of him, but he doesn’t see the difficulty of it all, all he sees are opportunities to make things right.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to go through the nitty- gritty of your relationship. The cheater is risking a lot when he wants to dissect your relationship. He may end up offending you by hearing words that you do not want to hear, but you have to see this in a positive manner, because this is the cheaters way of telling you that, “I want to work this out, I need your support.” This is the perfect time for you to offer a non-judgmental listening ear.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to face and accept the consequences of his actions. A cheater who is willing to make things right understands the degree of pain and suffering he has caused, with this, he is willing to deal with the fact that some of your friends and family members will frown- upon him and most importantly, he is willing to accept his limited freedom and time. He understands the need to not letting you worry or giving a hint of suspicion.

* The reformed philanderer is willing to discuss the reasons why he strayed and offers solutions how not to do it again. This is a very important factor, if he has awareness of his weaknesses and is willing to confront them, there is a huge possibility that he will not stray again. If your reformed cheater shows this act, be supportive if you want to work things out in your relationship.

Each person is unique and we all have our own way of showing how genuine we are to change. But the fascinating thing is, no matter how different we are in proving ourselves, disingenuousness always finds its way out. Because, again, the truth always comes out.

Ruth Purple is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A Copy of her sensational ebook on Winning Over Infidelity. Experience a Happier Love Life.  You can read more from Ruth at http://www.relazine.com

How To Get Beyond Your Spouse’s Emotional Infidelity

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By Coleta Stewart

In today’s world, new communication technologies bring new challenges and opportunities for a spouse to commit emotional adultery or physical adultery if they so desire. But even though it might be easier to be unfaithful, that still does not make it right.

Emotional infidelity can hurt just as much as physical infidelity. The bottom line is that a spouse who is unfaithful (emotionally or physically) has broken their “life contract” with their mate. They have crossed the line by forming a close intimate relationship with someone outside of their marriage. If you are the innocent spouse, needless to say that finding out about the emotional adultery can stir up all sorts of negative emotions and feelings inside you. You may experience:

Anger that your spouse’s relationship is draining the life from your marriage as he or she pours more and more emotional energy into it and less and less into the marriage.

Neglect that your own relationship has deteriorated to functional communications about the kids, family finances and other obligations.

Sadness because your spouse is sharing an emotional connection with someone other than you.

More than likely the emotional adultery could be because of an intimacy breakdown in your marriage, so that is where you need to start focusing your attention. If your spouse owns up to what he or she has done and wants to change the behavior, then you can move forward and start working on repairing your marriage and rebuilding your own relationship intimacy once again.

To do this you’ll need to take a good hard look at your relationship, give it the third degree so to speak. Are they signs of wear or neglect in your marriage? Is communication healthy or lacking? This self examination will serve to point out deficiencies in your marriage that both you and your spouse need to be working toward fixing.

After your partner’s emotional adultery, learning how to strengthen your communication bonds, both verbal and non-verbal is a crucial step in developing a deeper emotional connection with him or her. If communication is virtually non-existent in your relationships, then you’ll both need to learn techniques and new ways to connect on a more intimate level.

This may not be easy in the beginning and it may take some time to develop the habit of better communicating, but you need to keep at it. This is by no means all that you need to do to rebuild your marriage. Far from it, there is more relationship work to do to create a more fulfilling marriage and rebuild that all-important emotional connection as you move beyond your spouse’s emotional adultery.

Regulations & Rules Of Engagement For Side Pieces

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By Christopher Nolen

We, the people of common sense who–as grown folks–advise against becoming or seeking out a side piece (also referred to as dip), do hereby issue forth the following rules should you totally lose sanity and decide to be one anyway. Some articles will be in King James English, some in second person…perhaps if you read it in a variety of ways, you will get the message and avoid the issue all together:

Article 1: Do not ask me to meet my friends or family members. For what? You are a dip and you unfortunately do not get that privilege.

Article 2: Do not think that you will move up to be number #1 get that out of your head right now.

Article 3: Thou shalt not ask me to leave my spouse.

Article 4: Do not ask me to spend the night at your place.

Article 5: Do not ask me for my home phone number.

Article 6: Thou shalt not demand respect…you’re a side piece…hello?

Article 7: Thou shalt not get pregnant…thou shalt not demand money for abortion if thou layest down and becomest pregnant…hithertofore should thou becomest impregnated, thou shalt indeed understandeth that thou shalt be a

parent and STOP BEING THE SIDE PIECE

Article 8: Thou shalt not get angry if your pimp/pimptress shalt desirest to spend time and money with his/hereth spouse and family.

Article 9: Do not ask me to come to your parents house to meet your parents, for what? You are just a damn dip, in another month I will be done with you.

Article 10: Thou for surest shalt not falleth in loveth with thou pimp/pimptress.

Article 11: Do not call me after 7pm unless I make contact with you.

Article 12: Do not fall in love with me because once you do it is over.

**BREAK** We must mention that falling in love is the cardinal sin of being a side piece, which is why it is translated in both modern English and King James English. **BREAK**

Article 13: Thou shalt understand that theseth art jokeths.

**BREAK** We don’t want to be receiving all kinds of hate mail for making a joke out of this issue. Keep that gawbage to yourself. Thank you. **BREAK**

Article 14: Just know you are a dip and I don’t even know why I want to see you because you are going to get emotional anyway and trick off on me, I am an idiot so I cannot and will not even do this. Sorry for bothering you and wasting your time. I am going to make it work with my lady.

Article 15: Do not ask me to take you out in public, for what? you are a damn dip. You will only be confined to your bedroom or my other house that I have.

Article 16: Thou shalt not expect thou pimp/pimptress to treateth you any differently than he/she treatedeth his/her spouse should he/she leave said spouse and decideth–like a dummyeth–to marryeth thou. C’mon, son-eth!

Article 17: Do not tell me about your problems that you had that day, do you think I want to hear about that? I have problems of my own at home and that is why I am seeing you on the side because I have a house full of kids and woman who is getting on my nerves. Now you want to get on my nerves too, ah damn.

Article 18: Thou shalt learn the hard wayeth that beingeth the side pieceth is not as glamorous as television makes it seemeth.

Article 19: I dont want to meet your children.

Article 20: There will be an NDA (National Dip Association) lockout if you attempt to renegotiate this current contract. Your season will be lost if you choose to do so. The NDA realizes the smart dips will renegotiate, and thus leave the game. The dumb ones will stay, and that is where the bread and butter is.

Article 21: If you are riding with me you must duck your head on command.

Article 22: You must not wear underwear to my crib. That way your dumb self won’t forget s*it.

Article 23: You pay for the hotel/motel my money is for my family.

Article 24: And this is the #1 cardinal rule for becoming a side piece:

DON’T

This contract and these articles cannot be re-negotiated. Should you decide to ignore warnings against this lifestyle, this is the way of life you will tread.

Christopher Nolen is a film director and producer based in Chicago. Healing and/or hilarity ensue on his online forum called Christopher Nolen’s KIR (Keepin’ it Real), where he solicits anonymous postings for discussion.  His sophomore directorial effort–Christopher’s “The Good Life” is currently in post production for a release in 2012. Four KIR contributors, (H. Roberta Williams, Tremayne Price, Kyle Hopkins and Latike Booker) posted commentary in the above articles of tomfoolery. Visit KIR at kirworldwide.com.

Dealing With Infidelity…Is It Really Possible For A Marriage To Survive It?

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By Denise A. Dilmore

Surviving infidelity can be one of the darkest periods in your life. Being betrayed, hurt and humiliated by the one person you thought you could trust is life shattering.

Although affairs are certainly not uncommon within marriages, more and more couples are willing to survive the infidelity and ask “How can we get past this and keep our marriage together?”

The largest obstacle to get past is the emotional trauma and the shattered trust. It’s important to know, no matter how devastating and dark the relationship might seem now, it is possible to heal, strengthen and survive a marriage wounded by infidelity.

There is certainly no easy quick-fix. The power to save your marriage from divorce lies within you and your spouse. You both must be willing to take your time, be patient with each other and start rebuilding the trust and communication in a new “different” way. Trying to get back to “the way things were” is not the best solution seeing as something was flawed or missing for the infidelity to have happened in the first place.

Couples from all walks of life, income levels and circumstances have saved their marriage from the brink of an affair disaster. To survive infidelity, both couples must be sincere, committed and willing to work through the healing process. And it is a process.

If there are still feelings between you and your spouse, commit to working on saving your relationship by any means possible. Some couples can manage to rebuild and repair on their own but often outside assistance can be helpful. Experienced marriage counselors offer advice, insight and exercises which can be beneficial. If a marriage counselor is not an option due to funding, there are plenty of online support products or wonderful books from your local book store or library. These resources can aid you and your spouse and offer step by step techniques to help you both rebuild your marriage.

An infidelity does not have to mean the end of your marriage. It can be one of the most difficult challenges you and your spouse will ever deal with but, countless couples who have been on the brink of divorce or separation have successfully rebuilt their marriage. And if others have been successful, you can too!

Denise Dilmore is a freelance writer and the owner of howtosurviveanaffair.ca