Chuck D Speaks On The Importance Of Kwanzaa

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VIDEO: December is an exciting month in the Ma’at home because there is an increased emphasis on the importance of family and community.  Our children struggle to contain their excitement as they anxiously anticipate Dec. 25th.  Once Chrismas arrives they quickly shift their focus and enthusiasm toward the weeklong celebration of Kwanzaa.  Kwanzaa is a family and community celebration that focusses on 7 principles.  The seven principles of Kwanzaa are Umoja (Unity), Kujichagulia (Self-Determination), Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility), Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics), Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity), and Imani (Faith).   During this time period we attend community events, we make gifts for each other, we spend time talking about the importance of each principle, and on the last day of Kwanzaa which is Imani (Faith) we participate in a Kwanzaa Karamu which is a feast.  We cherish this time of year because it gives us an opportunity to reflect on our unique value and our responsibility to contribute that divine uniqueness to our community.  To set the record straight…Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday.  Kwanzaa is a cultural celebration that reinforces the greatness of our past and present historical experiences.  Kwanzaa is about lifting up who we are as a people, examining our frailties, and being intentional about making forward progress in the year to come.  We invite you participate in this wonderful celebration and remind you that your best days are yet to come.  Habari Gani!

Stop Trippin Off Of What Other People Think

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VIDEO: It’s normal to find yourself in quiet moments wondering about what other people think of you. It’s a basic human desire to want to be accepted. But, somewhere we miss the mark when we allow sought after acceptance to become the primary factor in how we feel about ourselves. We must validate ourselves. Stop trippin off what others’ think…..because most of the time when you are thinking about them…they ain’t hardly thinkin’ about you.

GOT ISSUES?…. Go Beyond The Symptoms And Get To The Source

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VIDEO: Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired in your relationship? Well, here we cut to the bottom line to find practical steps on how to go beyond the symptoms and get to the source of the problems in your relationship. Don’t get caught up in the details…B Intentional in identifying and expressing the unmet need and use this as a platform to improve the space that you and your spouse are in.

QUESTION: How many times do couples get caught up in the petty details of an issue? Do you think this is necessary or does it just distract us from what’s really going on?




Listen Up. This Is What She Really Really Wants.

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VIDEO: As men how many times have we heard from our women “You Don’t Listen To Me!” Almost every time they say that…our response whether aloud or in our minds is “I can repeat everything you just said.” But, men that’s not the point. Listen in and find out what women really really want when it comes to communication. Please listen with an open mind and apply with an open heart.

What To Do When Your Relationship Is Through….Almost

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VIDEO: Are you stuck between maybe and maybe not? Do you find yourself in a space of limbo in your relationship flirting with being either in or out? Is there a pending issue that has been left unresolved thus putting a wedge between you and your mate? Listed in to learn how to move 1 step closer to true healing.

QUESTION: How does one know when a relationship is truly over? Is the answer the same for everyone? How long is too long to continue dealing with significant yet unresolved issues? At what point is it time to walk away?

Stop Being Stale And Do Something Different

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VIDEO: No one wants dry, boring, shriveled up, worn out love. It’s important in our relationships to B Intentional about keeping the fire burning! There is a tendency to allow time to diminish the passion, creativity, and zest for love that once served as the spark igniting our amor. We’ve got to get that back. We’ve got to maintain that. When it comes to love sometimes we get comfortable but comfortable ain’t always cool..so to keep love fresh…Stop Being Stale And Do Something Different.

The Awful Truth About Black Love

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VIDEO:  Brutally honest dialogue takes place between Black men and women about why relationships between the two aren’t working anymore.  This kind of real talk has to be a part of an ongoing conversation and is absolutely necessary. However, I’m also starting to feel like the only thing many Black folks feel comfortable doing is complaining and debating about the state of Black Love instead of talking about what used to work, is working, and always will work. Is it just me or does the conversation need to shift?

CHALLENGE: Surf around the web today and see how many positive images/articles/videos you can find exploring black relationships. Let us know what you think and what you find.

He Said. She Said. You Be The Judge.

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We receive tons of questions day in and day out here at Blackloveandmarriage.com. Some of the questions that come in are from couples so we’ve decided (with their permission) to present both sides and allow you to be the judge. Weigh in by voting below and leaving a comment letting them know what you think.

Should We Buy Christmas Gifts For Extended Family?

Couple In Conflict (…and working it out) 🙂

  • Anonymous from Brooklyn, NY
  • Married for 5 years
  • 2 Children

    • He Says…

    The holiday season is a massive sales pitch on steroids. Everyone ….including my wife is so hypnotized by the commercialization of Christmas that they seem to WANT to dig themselves into more and more debt. This year I don’t want to buy gifts for my extended family (in-laws, siblings, grandparents) because I feel like I’m being pimped by some imposed obligation. Purchasing gifts for my wife and children is frustrating enough. My extended family knows I love them and this year I would like to focus more on spending quality time vs. spending money. Spending money on this is unnecessary.

    She Says…

    When the holiday season approaches I brace myself for an argument about money. I think my husband forgets the feelings of joy he experienced as a child on Christmas Eve and Christmas day. I want to recreate the same feeling for our children. When it comes to our extended family….What is the harm in giving a token of appreciation? What’s the harm in showing some gratitude to your parents by giving a gift? You say it’s unnecessary… but what if your parents felt the same way when they were stuffing your stockings on Christmas Eve? The gifts don’t have to be expensive. But he feels like any amount that we pay above and beyond what we’ve already paid for the gifts for our immediate family is too much. He feels like it’s unnecessary. And, I’m tired of living with a scrooge!

    Ok, B Intentional Family, weigh in. Should they buy Christmas gifts for their extended family?

    How To Get Your Man To Talk To You

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    VIDEO: Are you tired of chasing your man just to convince him to talk to you?  Do you feel like your man is disengaged when you are speaking to him about significant issues? This video helps you better understand the method to approaching men when important conversations need to occur.

    QUESTION: Do you know how to get your man to open up or do you feel like you can never have the conversations that matter most? How much of this might be caused by your approach? What one thing can you differently today to get the conversation started?

    I Don't Want My Husband To Think I'm A Freak

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    VIDEO: In our relationships we need to be honest about our sexual desires. In order for this to occur a safe space must be  created which invites our spouse to open up about their feelings, inhibitions, desires, etc. By creating this safe space and by taking the risk to share what is on your heart and mind sexually you open up the door to a deeper level of intimacy.