The One That Got Away (with driving me insane)

According to Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is ‘doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results’. Sometimes you can’t see the crazy until the relationship is over and you’ve had time to reflect. This was not the case with me. Right in the middle of it, I could clearly see the insanity and even knew what to do about it. But because I let my feelings and emotions run rampant, I cultivated – and practiced – these five bad habits:

5. I took him back. Over and over, again and again. While I thought I was being patient and understanding, he thought he was getting over.

4. I made it too easy. We fought hard and made up almost effortlessly. We never dealt with the real issues which made it easy to ignore the root of the problems.

3. I ignored the signs. He was selfish, arrogant and spoiled. I spent way too much time excusing his behavior.

2. I pretended. That he was going to change. One day. For me.

1. I couldn’t let go of the past. I knew him long before he became the man he is today. The easygoing, witty, funny, gentle spirit is who I really wanted and kept waiting for.

Even with these major blemishes, I don’t regret this relationship because I learned a lot about myself. In spite of it all, the one thing I learned the most that continues to bless my life today is, always be ready to try something new. And so I did. I forgave him (and myself) and moved on. Sanity intact.

 Tracy R. Jolly is a freelance writer, author, blogger, (sometime) poet and budding entrepreneur. Her blog, Losing My Mind, Finding My Voice, is dedicated to inspiring and empowering women to find and utilize their own powerful voices. Tracy uses her experiences and God-inspired messages to deliver hope, support and encouragement.