Sil lai Abrams, the relationship expert for Ebony.com, writes about the confused state of affairs in black relationships that leads to many experts pushing black women to date white men. She says that the there is an entire industry that has been created by men making millions by giving flawed dating advice to black women, like megapastors selling prosperity gospel to help you pay the bills. Abrams says the following:
Forgive me for saying this, but I have a hard time stomaching this trend. Just because you were raised in a family of women, or that you’ve slept with so many of us that you could start a national sorority comprised of your sexual conquests, doesn’t make you qualified to tell me how to increase my chances of getting married. And let’s not forget that the statistics say that Black men aren’t buying into marriage either. Hello? That’s like Johnnie Cochran giving the State of California inside information to gain OJ Simpson’s conviction. As commitmentphobic as Black men supposedly are, I think there’s a valid reason to say that this advice dispensing could be viewed as a serious conflict of interest.
Abrams then goes on to offer that it may be overly simplistic to assume that dating white men is going to be the catchall solution to challenges faced by black women in their dating lives. As a woman who has dated men of all races, Abrams makes it clear that those who fantasize about white men somehow being able to raise the bar over the heads of black men are in for a rude awakening:
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