By Patti Oar
You may think that women want someone who is tall, dark, and looks like a bodybuilder model from GQ. Those things are nice and yes we like to look at those guys, but just like you don’t need for us to look like Victoria Secret models we don’t require it in our man. OK. The 13 most important qualities that women look for in a man are:
3. Nice Smile
4. Sense of Humor
8. Gainfully employed
9. Has own place
10. Owns a car
OK. First things first. Honesty is the NUMBER ONE trait that women look for in a man. That doesn’t mean to be brutally honest and tell her she looks fat. (Never do that) but we want to know that we can trust that what you are telling us is the truth. If you’ve lied in the past it will be a very cold day in Hell before she trusts you again. And she may want to check your phone messages and read your email and call you 10 times a day to feel secure that you’re trustworthy again. You may not like that but if you lie it may be the price you have to pay.
Intelligence: Women want to feel safe and protected and we want our men to be smart. Maybe even smarter than us. Women feel that your brain is your sexiest organ. So dazzle us with your brain and you will be surprised how stimulated we become. Kick her ass at “Jeopardy” and watch what happens.
Smile: We love your smile. We can’t get enough of it. It makes us want to touch you and kiss you. So brush and floss and see your dentist and keep your mouth kissably fresh.
Sense of Humor: If you can keep us laughing you are golden. We love to laugh and we love a man who can make us laugh. This goes back to the smart thing as well. You have to be smart to be humorous. We like a man who’s humor challenges us. Leave that 3 Stooges stuff for the guys. Women don’t appreciate 12 year old juvenile humor.
Manners: Little things like manners are very important. Women don’t want their man to drive up and reach over from the driver’s seat and open the passenger door or just wait for us to open the door. A little old fashioned chivalry goes a long way. Escort the lady to the car and open the door for her. We love to be treated like queens. It makes us feel like you think we’re special. And hopefully you do think she’s special. We love a man with manners. We know we can take him home and our parents will love him. We don’t want to have to worry about what you might do or say. We want to be with a man not a boy. That means no farting, belching, toe or nose picking, spitting, or smacking your lips when you eat. We want to know we can take you in public and we won’t be embarrassed. And don’t forget we also like to show you off to our girlfriends and we want them to approve. You want the girlfriends to think you’re a “Keeper”.
Sensitive: That whole thing about being “Sensitive” and getting in touch with your “Feminine Side” are all very true. A woman is waaaay more attracted to a man who isn’t afraid to show his feelings and be gentle and sensitive. We actually think that makes you more manly. A man who clams up and thinks being macho is what we want is very wrong. One of the things that is extremely attractive to a woman is when it’s obvious that you are attracted to us. There is nothing hotter than seeing how much we turn you on. Don’t be afraid to show that. But of course there are limits and this can easily be overdone. Be careful about showing things like that at work or you might find yourself in a sexual harassment situation. And if you decide to try to tip your hand to a woman and show your interest, remember to keep it subtle. No woman likes a STALKER or a HORNDOG! We love to know that we are getting to you, but not in an obnoxious way. You may have to make some changes in your behavior. But of course, they’ll be changes for the better and you will most likely be happier for it.
Sincerity: This is a little like honesty, but what I mean is if you need to change some of your behaviors to be more attractive to women then don’t just do it to get the girl. This is something that has to be real. If you think that’s not you, then maybe you should think about making a change. You can decide you don’t want to change, that you like yourself the way you are, but if that was working for you then you probably wouldn’t be reading this article. You were drawn to this piece because you must truly want to know how to be better with women and if you sincerely do then you may need to take an honest look at yourself and decide what you want because it has to be real.
Employed: OK. This is a no-brainer, but truthfully there are some men out there without jobs that think they can get all the women they want. I have no idea what makes them think that, but their egos are on overtime. Women need security and we want a man who can provide for us. That doesn’t mean we don’t want to work, but it does mean that we want to know that you are a responsible MAN.
Has Own Place: OK. Matthew McConaughey was really cute in Failure to Launch but that was a comedy. Seriously we don’t want to have a sleepover at your Mom’s house. Having your own place just shows us again that you are a responsible adult. And it does help if your place is decorated nicely. I don’t mean you have to hire a decorator, but we’re not drawn to frathouse chic. Impress us with your style. Again we want MEN not BOYS!
Has Own Car: This may not be important if you live in New York or in a place where the public transportation makes owning a car unnecessary but in most of the world you need a car to pick up your date and take her out. It is important to mention here that even though we love luxury cars we don’t need that in our man. Women love men with all kinds of cars, but FYI keep your car clean (especially the inside). Nothing says SLOB more than a dirty car. Take out the fast food wrappers and keep it neat and smelling nice.
Affectionate: We really do love to touch and be touched. And I am not talking sexually here. But try holding her hand when she’s not expecting it or gently rubbing her back. Little touchy things like that mean a lot. Rub her arm when you’re reading the paper or do little things like foot and hand massages. Women love that.
Be Considerate: We appreciate the little things like holding a door open or not walking ahead of us. If we’re sleeping make sure you turn out the light when you leave. Show her you care by picking up after yourself. When you get some dessert out of the fridge ask if she’d like some or make sure you leave some for her. Just basic consideration is so important to us.
Thoughtfullness: This may sound like consideration, but it goes a little further. Being thoughtful of her needs goes a long way. Maybe give her a call from work just to see how she’s doing. While we love that we don’t want to be smothered with a bunch of calls all day long. Bring something home for her when you go to the store, like some fresh flowers (I know that’s cliché, but that’s because it works) or maybe some of her favorite ice cream…just because. This shows us that you are thinking of us and that makes us feel important and special.