I Need My Wife To Be My Freak…Not A Saint In The Sheets!

VIDEO: Ayize is a bit perturbed in this clip because it’s almost 3am and Aiyana keeps messing up on the recording. She thinks it’s funny but I am not amused. She messes up one more time (what you don’t see is the 10 mess ups before that! :-\ ) before we start to flow and get to the issue at hand. Here, we answer a guy who writes in about how frustrated he is with his “closed minded” wife in the bedroom. He wants the freak to come out at night…and she’s not feeling it.

Men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex and there’s no getting around that. But, what does one partner do when the other partner is rigid and reserved in the bedroom and they are the exact opposite? Is it their job to loosen their spouse up so they can feel free to explore sexually or should they just simply respect where their spouse is and accept that this is the way it will be…til death do them part?

If a couple is not in sync sexually do you think they are bound to have major problems that will eventually threaten their bond? Have you experienced a similar issue in your relationship? How did you handle it? Or maybe you’re dealing with a similar scenario right now…weigh in and leave a comment or submit a video response letting us know what you think.

4 replies
  1. Charles
    Charles says:

    See, this is why I don't want to get married. I ain't got time to help somebody figure out why they scared to have sex!

  2. Keisha S.
    Keisha S. says:

    Well said Aiyana. I have to admit that I'm not very open in this area with my significant other but I know I need to be. I have to be honest though. I don't really try. I just feel stuck. It's really hard for me because I'm really self conscious about messing up or just seeming way off when it comes to sex.

  3. B Intentional
    B Intentional says:

    Thanks for the link David! Well written post. While I agree that the game that we suggest may not solve all of her sexual reservations ….we never said it would. 😉 And, yes she may still be a little (or maybe a lot) uncomfortable. But, that's Ok too. Connecting into our sexuality, playing sex games and talking about sex for some are foreign places that we've never visited sexually, psychologically, or emotionally. So, I think it's fair to say that activity in and of itself will not resolve all hesitation. However, I am a strong believer in the fact that we learn best by doing meaning when we take the risk to DO (not just say) something different that's outside of our comfort zone we literally change the atmosphere in our brains and hearts. By doing something different (no matter how big or small) we change the sign on the door of our threshold (i.e limits) to "open for possibilities" instead of "closed to progress".


    .-= B Intentional´s last blog ..I Need My Wife To Be My Freak…Not A Saint In The Sheets! =-.

  4. David Patrick
    David Patrick says:

    Good job answering this question you guys! One thing I would say may not necessarily work for them is the game you suggest because if she is already inhibited, she may not feel comfortable expressing (even written) her fantasies, even more so… she may just simply be conservative by nature and therefore all HIS wild fantasies will be in the bag and she may still feel uncomfortable.

    Here is a great link I recommend for these issues (because they may lie a little deeper than her just being conservative or uncomfortable) it’s called Possible Places Your Inward Vixen Could Be Hiding: http://greatmarriedlife.com/2010/03/08/possible-places-your-inward-vixen-could-be-hiding/

    Thanks for the great post!
    .-= David Patrick´s last blog ..Long Term Planning- Key Performance Indicators =-.

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