I’m Lost In The Abyss Of Marriage…HELP!!!!

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Viewer Letter: I’ve never written to anyone for advise but I am looking for an unbiased answer to a complicated situation.  I’ve been married 3 years and these 3 years have been the worst time of my life.  When I tell you what is going on and all that has happened you are going to look at this letter and shake your head.  Let me break it down from start to finish two months before getting married my mother was diagnosed with cancer so we moved my parents up to where we live to make sure she was receiving proper treatment.  With that my father had dementia so I was taking care of that issue as well of course stress on a newly married couple.  So this went on for 7 months until all was well.  A month after my parents left I was fired from my 6-figure job through the grace of God I found another one still stressful.  Three months later a storm came through and blew the roof off of our condo in which our place was completely destroyed so we were displaced for 9 months more stress.  Two months after the storm my father passed away.  Three months after that I found out my husband was having inappropriate conversation with several women which I forgave him.  In May of this year I found out that my husband had a fling (he said he only received oral sex – yeah right) with a co-worker twice at his job that I got him through my best friend who is his boss like a fool I stayed again yes we went to counseling which did not help that much.  Last week we found out that it’s a possibility that neither one of us can conceive a child naturally which points the arrow at his 11 year old son he has by another woman that he may not be the father to this child because his infertility looks to be genetic.  So after 3 years of this I’m deflated, self-esteem is shot (mind you I never had issues with self-esteem ever), I honestly don’t know what to do or where to go it’s like there is a black cloud over this relationship.  I’m checking his phone, I’m tracking his every move I’m so unsure of where this is even going.  Don’t get me wrong I love my husband but these first three years have already beat me to a pulp the stress is overwhelming and is affecting us seriously.  I real need help or Prozac. *Sorry for any typos or incorrect use of the English language*.

 

Lost in the Abyss of Marriage

What’s Your Grade? ‘A’ as a Mom ‘F’ as a Wife?

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VIDEO:  Have you recently taken the time to ask yourself…”What’s my grade as a wife and as a mother?” If you take the time to do some self reflection and honest self examination you will discover your strengths and weaknesses in these roles. Far too often we are way out of balance and pay more attention to one area of our lives than the others and consequently something or someone suffers. We need to be balanced in life and in love. How do you measure up? Do you make the grade? Leave a comment with your thoughts or submit a video response. We want to hear from you.

There’s Value In Being Serious. There’s Value In Being On Joke Time.

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Do you and your spouse occasionally seem like yall are from different planets?  When you want to go left ….she insists on going right.  When you suggest that “this” is important …..he is dismissive and considers “this” insignificant.  When you want to be serious….your spouse wants to be on joke time.  What we’ve found in working with couples is that difference is o.k.  Pause for a moment and really internalize that….difference is o.k.  It’s through the process of appreciating and understanding the contrast in your relationship that you open the way to achieve relational clarity.  In this video we talk about balance and how important it is to having relationship success. Check it out and let us know what you think.

I Cheated. She Cheated. We’re Stuck….Now What?

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Viewer Question: I appreciate and respect the work that you do. It gives me hope and motivation. My wife and I have been together for 16 years of which 12 we have been married. I cheated on her, was caught and confessed to other acts. She then alerted me to what she did before we were married but together and after we were married. We went to counseling and I realized my part and failure in the marriage. I do not believe I fully responded to it though. I could have communicated more and been more affectionate. My wife started disappearing earlier this year and I thought something was up. One night I had enough and found her at another guys house using our cell phone tracking device. When we got home she said she was done and tired of me, admitting to cheating and said there was another who she had unprotected sex with earlier this year. Knowing my downfalls in the relationship, I turned to GOD and decided to forgive and work it out as our children were being affected by mommy not being home as much as she normally would. I realize it took a long time to get in this ugly mess but I am committed to staying with my wife and not give up and get over BUT get up and get through this TOGETHER. I do love my wife and family enough to endure this heartache and pain. My wife, is kind of a brick wall right now. I dont know how to get through to her. She says she still loves me. Please advise

Do You Know How To Defer In Your Relationship?

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Defer: To YIELD respectfully in judgement or opinion. In other words hold fast, back off, submit, or consider someone ahead of yourself. I found that on Dictionary.com and I love it. It’s simple yet profound. …and it uses the word YIELD in the definition which basically means to GIVE WAY. So, here’s my question: Are you GIVING WAY in your relationships? Are you YIELDING? Do you really understand the importance of learning to defer? It’s an essential skill. Listen in and find out why….

I’m Ready To Leave My Husband Because He Left Me Long Ago

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VIDEO: What do you do when you feel like you’ve done all you can do in your relationship? Is it time to walk away? How can you continue to work when you feel like you’re the only one working on your relationship? Do you walk away? Just because you feel something doesn’t necessarily make it so. Often times there is more you can do; it just requires you to stretch beyond your comfort zone just a little bit more. Listen in to see just what “stretching beyond your comfort zone” looks like.

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I Love My Man…Should I Go To The Same College As Him?

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I’m in a committed and long distance relationship. My boyfriend is a freshmen in college and I’m a senior in high school. We’re both 18 years old. I’ve been accepted and I’ve decided to go to the same college as my boyfriend. Alot of people are telling me it’s a bad choice but I hate being apart from him. It’s hard for him to give me attention while he is college but when he’s home from college he spends every waking moment with me and he just gives me alot of attention. We’ve been together for 2 years and 7 months. Do you all think this is a good decision to make for the sake of my relationship.?

The Ma’at Children Say “I Know I Can”

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VIDEO: As adults we get in the way of ourselves and impose parameters on our potential. If we sit still for a moment and watch children we can learn to reconnect with our inborn optimism and go after those once forgotten dreams. Listen in as the Ma’at children remind you that YOU can accomplish whatever you put your mind to.

Video: How Can I Convince Him That I Won’t Hurt Him?

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Viewer Question:

We’re in a long distance relationship with my man. Since we’ve dated for 2months, i have learned that he might still be hurting from his previous relationships where one of his ex cheated on him with her best friend. I’ve learned also that his previous hurts have made him to fear that i might leave him or hurt him like his ex did, he’s hard to please, i love him, i want to make him happy, because i believe that’s all he needs. Often times he becomes short-tempered when we talk, without telling me where i went wrong, he doesn’t want me to talk to his male friends.  How can i make him believe that i won’t hurt him, that i’m not like his ex. I don’t want to loose him because he does love me a lot too, but he’s living with that fear that i’l leave him.
Help help

I Only Want To Have Sex To Procreate…Is There Something Wrong With Me?

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VIDEO: What is normal when it comes to sex? Would you consider the frequency that you want “it” or the way that you want to have “it” normal? In this video we endeavor to explain “what is normal” as we answer the question of a 27 year old viewer who ONLY wants to have sex to procreate. We encourage him to make it a priority to get into some counseling so that he can begin to explore the roots of his only focusing on the utility of sex versus the pleasure. Was he raised with certain strong philosophical or religious convictions about sex? Did some sort of sexual trauma occur early on in his life? Only he can get the answers that he needs. And, we salute him for being in a place where he is ready to begin working to get the answer. This is exactly the kind of self work that one should be doing before marriage if at all possible. We must not be afraid to discover the depths of who we are or where we’ve been. There is healing in the journey.