By Amy Cunningham

Getting engaged is an exciting moment in your life. If you’re ready to take the plunge, follow this guide for an engagement that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Know Her Answer.

This may sound like an odd tip, but you’d be surprise at how many couples haven’t discussed the topic of marriage prior to getting engaged. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if you have even a doubt in your mind, then sit down and talk with your girlfriend before rushing out to buy the ring. If you’ve had serious discussions about your relationship and where it’s headed, then you probably already know that her answer will be ‘yes’.

Ring Shopping.

Before you start shopping, find out what she likes. If she doesn’t care about being surprised, then you could even take her out to pick out the ring with you. Otherwise, ask her friends and family and pay attention to her likes and dislikes.

The next thing you need to do is study the 4c’s. If you’re like most men, you know little about diamonds and what constitutes a good one. For more information on the 4C’s (carat, cut, color, clarity) for get tips on buying a diamond.

Get the Ring Insured.

After you’ve selected the ring, the next step is to insure it. This may seem unnecessary, but if the stone ever falls out of it’s setting, you’ll be glad you did it. For a nominal fee you can generally add jewelry to your home owner’s or renter’s policy.

Get Her Father’s Blessing.

This isn’t done much anymore, except possibly in the south, but it’s still a very thoughtful and respectful thing to do. Plus, it will it strengthen your bond with your future father-in-law. It’s as simple as inviting him out to dinner and let him know that you’d like his blessing in asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage.

Get Creative.

Make your proposal one to remember! Think creatively and plan every detail. Pick a location that has special meaning, set the mood, and make sure to make it special as you’ll both remember this day for the rest of your life. If you’re stumped for ideas, check out our marriage proposal ideas with hundreds of ideas to get the creative juices flowing.

Down on One Knee.

There is nothing more romantic in this world that seeing the man you love down on one knee asking you to marry him.

Record the moment.

Get a friend or perhaps even an employee (if you’re proposing at a restaurant or other place of business) help you set up a video camera or take pictures of the moment. If you plan ahead, you’ll have these mementos to treasure forever.

Get help.

If you’re planning a more extravagant proposal, get the help of a close friend of family member! They can help with details, getting your girlfriend out (if you need her away to surprise her), or even throwing her off the trail if she starts to suspect something. Be careful though because you don’t want them to spoil the surprise.

Surprise Her.

Whether she admits to it or not, every woman wants a romantic surprise proposal. Even is she knows that you’re planning on proposing soon, you can still make the actual time and date a surprise.

Celebrate your Engagement!

After it’s official, spend a few moments together just taking in the excitement. She’ll likely want to call her friends and family to let them know the news, so make sure you have your cell phone nearby. Enjoy a romantic dinner together, share a bottle of wine, and just enjoy the moment. If you want to celebrate with your close friends and family, now is the time to plan that engagement party!

Amy Cunningham is the editor of RomanceStuck Romantic Ideas, a romantic resource for finding love and staying in love.  You can check out more of her work at http://www.romancestuck.com/

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Would the prince have chosen Cinderella to marry if she was a miserable young woman? If her stepsisters were beautiful but miserable, would he have chosen either of them?

Are you living under the delusion that when you meet your soul mate you will finally be happy – that your misery is because you are not in a relationship or not in the right relationship?

Most people who are happy in their marriages were ALREADY HAPPY before meeting their spouse! Happy people make happy marriages. Unhappy people either don’t marry or generally continue to be unhappy after getting married.

While Cinderella wasn’t happy with her circumstances, inside she was a loving, happy person. And so was the prince. “Happily ever after” is often not the result of getting married, but the result of two basically happy people getting married to each other!

Over and over I hear from my clients: “I need a relationship to be happy.” Over and over I say to them, “Focus on learning how to make yourself happy now and then you might find the relationship you are seeking.”

If you think about it, it makes sense. If you were a basically happy person, would you be attracted to a basically unhappy person? Not likely.

When you make your happiness dependent upon another person, you are handing them responsibility for your emotional wellbeing. Why would someone else want this responsibility? And, since we are attracted to each other at our common level of woundedness, the chances are that the person you are attracted to and who is attracted to you is also looking to you to take responsibility for their emotional wellbeing. This is called a codependent relationship, not a happy relationship, and definitely not happily ever after.

There is certainly nothing wrong with wanting a wonderful relationship. But the chances of finding that wonderful relationship if you are unhappy is slim. When you are already happy, then you want a relationship to share your love, your happiness, your joy, your learning and growth, and your interests. When you are unhappy, the chances are you are looking for a relationship to make you happy, and this is likely not going happen.

Back to Cinderella. Because she was a caring person, she tried very hard to make her stepmother and her stepsisters happy. But they were never happy. Why? Because they were angry and blaming people, making Cinderella responsible for their happiness. No matter how kind and wonderful she was, it did not matter, because their misery was created by their own beliefs and ways of treating themselves and others.

The same is true in today’s relationships. I have worked with many people who were never happy, no matter what their partner did to make them happy. As long as they were judging themselves and others instead of learning how to take responsibility for their own feelings, they were sad, empty, alone inside, hurt and/or angry. As long as they looked outside themselves for the source of their unhappiness, they were stuck being unhappy.

The way out of this unhappiness is to learn how to take 100% responsibility for your own pain and your own joy. Anyone can learn to do this, but, if you are stuck in the false belief that you need the right relationship in order to be happy, then you will likely not be motivated to learn how to do this.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Are you are ready to discover real love and intimacy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course:http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome/relationship_help.html, and visit our website at http://www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help.

By Neil Graber

Starting by combining your feelings of self-worth and purpose, you can generate the emotional strength to extend yourself outward to others. The emotional feeling continues from knowing you can count on yourself, the fact you can count on others, and the fact others will also count on you.

Trust is a special relationship flowing back and forth between two individuals where each individual can feel the other person understands them, knows who they really are, and what really matters to them. In addition, you must feel the other individual really cares about you and will consider your needs, wishes and desires when making decisions impacting them. Having trust in your relationship, will aid in bringing success to personal and business relationships. Here are some ways to build these qualities into our relationships:

Be sincere – if you can’t be honest with yourself and others, the best advice is to not even try to gain trust with another. Continue to be cordial and leave it at that. Most people are perceptive enough to see through your statements and actions when you are merely pretending to trust. Insincere efforts do not lead to success in any form.

Notice what matters to others – attempt to see the world through the eyes of others and how their mind works with that information. Look for their eyes to light up, for their posture to change, or for the excitement in their voice as signs of what is important to them. Look beneath the surface and experience what is going on from their viewpoint. Then make note of it, as that is important to that individual. In addition, make the person feel important for who and what they are as an individual.

Listening – pausing for a second or two and taking a breath before speaking increases empathy, patience and curiosity. This allows time and creates a signal to the other that you are genuinely prepared to listen to what they will say. Repeat back a portion of what they say to ensure understanding on your part as well as to demonstrate you are listening.

Do not criticize – keep your comments on the positive side. Should it be necessary to confront and deal with an issue, phrase your questions in order to have the other individual recognize the situation in your eyes and allow them to offer a solution.

Be respectful of time – although we each have the same amount each day, it’s what we do with it that counts. Each of us has different ideas regarding the use of our time. Use your interaction with others to enhance the ability to accomplish their tasks, but not to the extent to prevent them from the ability to work on them.

Create a win-win situation – look for opportunities to allow others to advance and move forward in their understanding, knowledge or work/business environment. As others gain steps toward success as a result of your efforts, you will create additional trust.

Be an example – demonstrate that your actions support your words. Be the example for others to look to and to follow. How you handle yourself in good times and in bad will impact the respect and trust others will have for you.

Who are you when no one else is looking – it’s easy to hold ourselves accountable for our actions when we know others are watching, but what about when no one is around? It is in those moments when our integrity and character will show. Yet somehow, even if no one is currently watching when we make a slip or take a fall, others eventually find out if we hold ourselves to different standards.

Do what you promise – deliver what you promise or let others know where you are in your efforts to meet your promise. Over-deliver on each opportunity available.

Be supportive – at times an individual just needs a person to stand beside them or a shoulder to cry on. In times like this, just being there and offering kind and supporting words will make a tremendous impact on the individual and their ability to deal with the situation they are encountering.

Be positive – smile, and work to present the sunny side of a situation. It is much easier to be around individuals who are positive and happy then those who only spout negative and are always a grump.

Act as a servant – this can be demonstrated in an external and internal way. In an external way you can offer your skills, expertise, and assistance to meet a need of the individual. In an internal way, it is how you respond, the energy you display when offering and performing the external activities that really counts. Even in a position of leadership or responsibility over another, you can still act in a way as to not interject “I’m your boss” in the relationship. If you are peers, work to position yourself and your comments so your are not presenting yourself in a superior way over others.

When working to add trust to a relationship, the least important word to use is “I”. Trust comes with the focus on the other individual and not on you. Trust may be achieved over a period of time, yet it can be destroyed in one quick moment with a few words or wrong action. As humans we may fail others or ourselves at times, but when we do, our next actions or words play a large role in determining our success in restoring the amount of trust and credibility we have lost. We cannot act as if nothing has happened, but can ask for forgiveness and move forward as best we can. We may never regain the trust we had, but how we handle ourselves will demonstrate both our character and integrity.